DD (17) won't leave darkened bedroom.

[houselikeashed]

DD has ASD. Her bedroom is disgustingly messy, and dirty cos I can't get in to clean it regularly.
She sits up there with the window closed, the curtains closed, and in her pyjamas, on her phone.
Any ideas how we can lure her out? / get her to join in with the family?

Gosh that sounds tricky. Does she not have any places she would to go as a treat? A day out to the beach, a spa experience or a forest trip maybe. Perhaps you've tried all this. Is she on any medication? You must be frustrated I hope you are taking care of yourself

This is what our 17 yr old ASD daughter does given half a chance. She is in a safe place and doesn’t need to interact with people in the real world.

We have worked hard to inject reality into our daughter’s life and now she functions pretty well with a bit of exercise, social interaction and fresh air, though will always need a certain amount of time alone to decompress.

We found the only way of doing this was by refusing to leave her alone until she did something (eg an hour of fresh air sitting in the garden). Gradually we have established routines which now seem set in stone (advantages of autism) and she will do without encouragement.

At the weekend her day looks something like this
11.30 get up, get phone
at some point go out for an hour
at some point have some lunch in the kitchen
6pm family meal
8pm play with younger siblings
9pm join us for tv, her choice of programme. Leaves phone downstairs for night.

As you can see we don’t insist on much and where possible she does what she wants. If this routine needs to be changed eg for an outing she needs to know several days in advance. Outings are obligatory (eg a family birthday) or optional.

Writing it down makes it sound horrendous for a 17 yr old, but routine is the key. She now gets enjoyment from activities we nagged her to do (eg tv together) and with the safety of these routines feels able to branch out a bit sometimes, and now suggests outings.

No idea how to get her to keep room tidy. Pick your battles, gradually install routines involving some social interaction and some exercise.
Good luck x

How is she with reasoning and communicating with you. Perhaps start slowly and say you are worried about eye strain with her being in the dark on a screen, see if you can convince her to have the curtains open a little. Once she’s used to that then start on hygiene or something.

Sorry, I’m struggling to think of suggestions. Do you have any support with her?

Amazingly, she has just gone out with a friend into town.
I will do a quick open window and take out food remains skim of her room whilst she is out.

Fantastic!