Hello, not sure if this should be here or on the SEN board. Regular MNetter NC...
We're a bit worried about DD12 - she's had a couple of alarming meltdowns recently that seem a bit beyond regular adolescent angst and I'm not sure whether we should be looking into it further or just accepting that she'll do this sometimes. Backdrop is that she's very academic and very focused i.e. 95%-100% on a v regular basis across the board. But she also seems pretty well-adjusted i.e. happy the vast majority of the time, has good friends, loves social stuff, very physical and adores PE, riding bikes, clubs all that stuff. Super organised (in contrast to other DD who is currently being assessed for ADHD) and absolutely loves school, almost to the point of obsession. She hates being late - school is near our work so we travel in together and if DH and I are running a bit late she'll be standing by the door practically tapping her foot.
Last night she got herself into a total state - howling, hyperventilating, literally couldn't calm down or catch her breath. It was all to do with a costume she was meant to have made for a thing at school. A fun thing, not some big, important assessment. She's been really looking forward to it but uncharacteristically, she'd left the costume until the last minute and it didn't work out the way she expected, the stuff that she was trying to staple on wouldn't stay and she got super, super upset about it. She's been like this a couple of times before e.g. a few weeks back when she couldn't find the schools official PE shirt before school (she usually has everything ready the night before) - I didn't think it was a big deal, told her to just wear a plain white t-shirt but she, again, got into a total state about it, couldn't calm down. Then I said she needed to just breathe and recover and she could just be late for school and that escalated things further. I haven't seen her upset about academic stuff in the same way, not bothered by tests or anything like that - only exception was when she was asked to write a poem, which she got very anxious about too. So, there have been a handful of incidents like that and the one last night was quite scary and worse than the others.
I keep wondering if she feels under pressure from us but I don't think so and when I've asked her she's been adamant that she doesn't. She has always just got on with homework etc without us saying a word, I don't see any of her work unless she's excited and wants to show me something, she's seems to genuinely love doing school work and will just come home and motor through whatever she has to do at high speed and then play minecraft with friend or whatever). She doesn't work all the time, she also spends a lot of time looking at daft stuff on youtube etc messaging her friends. But maybe I'm being naive and there is some 'unspoken' pressure that she feels and that's the underlying cause of all this.
When she was in a total state last night, DH said to her that she might need a lie-in today and to stay off school for the morning and I think that really freaked her out. So when I went in this morning at 7.20, she was up, dressed, bag packed, room unusually tidy. She was making her bed and v keen to prove that everything was absolutely fine. Said she'd just been tired. We tried to talk to her about it and she said she said something along the lines of the fact that she just likes things to be organised. She seemed totally calm and back to her regular self.
I've asked for a chat with her form teacher but just wondered if anyone of you insightful folk had any thoughts?