13 yo DD self harm

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I just wondered whether anyone else is having similar experiences. My DD is in year 8 at a girls grammar school. She's experiencing significant mental health issues and self harm; and is awaiting assessment for ADD. I am beginning to wonder whether school and school friends are perpetuating her issues. Well over half of her year group have gender identity concerns, preferring to be addressed as male, diverse sexuality seems to be a trend and mental health issues are worn like a badge of honour.

Please do not misunderstand me. I'm not anti any of these things but I do believe that gender diversity as a trendy thing marginalises the very real and extensive struggles and battles for equality people have been fighting for years. I also have experienced mental health challenges of my own and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I'm keen to know other parents' experience of secondary school children of a similar age 12 - 14/15. Are gender, mental health and self harm issues rife everywhere? Or do I need to consider a school change for DD?

I'm at the end of my tether. I just want my DD to be happy and able to cope with normal life stresses without cutting. Although she doesn't seem remotely committed to stopping. Whilst it's superficial at the moment, my fear is obviously that it worsens.

Many share your concern. Genspect is an excellent resource.

Anecdotally yes lots in Y10 but not in Y8.

My advice is to research the alternatives anyway. You don't want to regret not trying, not looking into it seriously, even if you choose to keep her where she is.

We are dealing with similar. DD13 is at a specialist school and awaiting diagnosis of possible ASD. Already has ADHD/ADD but no medication. Gender and sexuality issues came up a couple of years ago thanks to tiktok. We had a period of time where she wanted to identify as non binary but we talked about it at length and she now seems to be firmly back in the female camp. She does however, think she is a lesbian (all good with that).

We have had some self harming but that too has calmed now we talk about it. She says she didn't like doing it and it hurt but she felt so bad it felt like it might be an answer. Unfortunately young girls have access to so much information now from so many sources that I think they try these things a bit like we tried smoking and alcohol.

Don't get me wrong, my daughter is obviously distressed but I'm not sure she would have thought this stuff up on her own. I smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol at a very young age to handle my emotions and I wonder if this is just a similar identity/early teenage confusion thing but is made worse by having ASD or ADD.