Dealing with judgement from others…

[Deedyn]

My DD (now 22) has found an archery club that herself and her Uncle go to each week. In the past she’s also done fencing, and did really well in it.
I don’t disclose what hobbies she has but whenever someone finds out it’s never particularly nice what they say. It’s always along the lines of being ‘judgey’.
My OH says he couldn’t care less what they say…neither can I but it how it makes me feel. It’s like everyone has to be the same, which isn’t the case!
How do you deal with it when this happens?
Advice welcome, thanks

Firstly, very well done to your DD for finding sports she can excel in.

Do you think people a bit off because they think the sports she does are not mainstream, do they think the sports are a bit 'posh' for want of a better word?

Or maybe it's a communication thing, because they don't know how to discuss those sports with you? If they say their child played soccer and scored a goal, you can give praise, if you say your DD scored 20 points in her archery, they probably won't know if that's good bad or indifferent, so the conversation won't flow.

My DD's tried both of those, she did target shooting for a while and enjoyed that as an adult, judo when she was younger and riding in her teens.

We know that all of these sports are much more suitable for people with ASD because they are not team-based but down to individual performance whereas most mainstream sports tend to be team sports or physically very demanding like track and field events.

It was an old school friend’s mother that made the comment as regards my DD. It was more of a ‘tskk’ comment and I believe it was because she became aware of her hobby, fencing at that time and knew she was good at it. I don’t even like the woman but had to endure her due to her son being my DD only friend at that time. They started at the same time but he wasn’t very good so dropped out.

I struggle with the judgement. When it happened it came from the side and I was unprepared for her. I know I need to toughen up though and maybe say something back.

I think she’d probably like target shooting too, like you say it’s not team based.

Thanks for your reply.