My DS is 15 and has ASD and is massively behind at school (mainstream) he started off when he joined this school on a route 5 for gcse, he’s currently below route in every subject and is currently working at a level 2 in most, and a level 3 in two subjects (design tech and English literature).
I have his individual teachers ringing me regularly speaking about his lack of motivation and focus, and unwillingness to complete any work (one of his teachers asked him if he needed help, and DS said no, the works not hard I’m just refusing to do it)
One of his teachers said she’s run out of options, she has nothing left to try! She’s tried to see if he can move subjects but his head of year said no as he’s already 1 year in. He’s not completed a single piece of work in this subject since he started last year, not one.
I spoke to his head of year who said DS just shows complete apathy to every lesson and causes low level disruption daily. He said he would run. Me back last week but he didn’t so I have rang today and am waiting for a call back.
At home DS can be pretty similar, he doesn’t try at all unless it’s something he knows he’s good at or it’s easy. He’s disorganised, never remembers his PE kit without me reminding him on the day, room is a mess, clearly issues with executive functioning. He seems down, flat effect, very low self esteem, tells me he’s not good at anything, doesn’t leave his room unless he wants food. He seems highly anxious, has only left the house twice in a year apart from going to school (which is a struggle) won’t come out with even me and his brother. He’s persistantly late to school. And definitely complete apathy at home too, any punishments etc are just met with a blank stare, I can take his Xbox off him which he absolutely loves and he just says ok, I get no reaction off him.
He has a school counsellor and a support worker who can’t get through to him.
I’ve tried speaking to him, he says he just doesn’t understand the work, so I asked him why he doesn’t tell the teacher that and he says because he doesn’t want to be seen as the “special kid” and that everyone treats him differently when they realise he has asd. I’m sure they don’t, I imagine it’s just his insecurities at play here.
DS hates the fact that he has ASD, he’s ashamed of it and won’t admit it to anyone, I’ve obviously tried my very best to help him understand that having ASD doesn’t make him “less than” but his self esteem is on the floor and I don’t know what to do about it. ( I have ASD myself so can understand to some degree, I also have ADHD)
Anyway back to the point, we saw someone at camhs last week that in regards to some therapy that’s been offered to him after self harming a while ago, and she mentioned applying for an ehcp after I told her about how worried I was about his future.
She also mentioned that his refusal to do any work could be an avoidance technique, as in if he doesn’t even try then he can’t fail. I don’t know how likely that is, although I can imagine myself thinking that way.
All I know is that when my son was at primary school he was so full of life and enthusiasm, joy and hope for the future. And that’s just gone! And it’s sad to see.
He was seen by the educational psychologist at primary school who assessed him as having an above average IQ so there’s no reason for him to be this far behind.
So I was wondering how likely it would be for an ehcp to be successful? I’m waiting for a call back from his head of year so will discuss it with him then, but I’m willing to apply myself if school wont back me up.
I’m already quite annoyed that school won’t assess him for adhd after camhs recommended it and he shows every sign in the book! Even his student passport for his ASD doesn’t mention classic ASD things on there. It mentions things like “I get distracted easily” “I get easily bored” “prompt me when I become distracted” “I fiddle with my pens” “ sit me near the front of the class so I remain focused” “provide gentle prompts in order to keep focused” And combined with the family history too. I just always find that I’m not assertive enough to push things like this. They said they couldn’t assess him for Adhd last year as he didn’t have enough behaviour points apparently (I have Adhd and would definitely have got no behaviour points at all at school! I would have done anything to be invisible) However that was last year, he definitely does have the behaviour points this year.
Anyway, clearly I’m very annoyed today lol!
But does anyone have any advice as to if an ehcp would be appropriate and likely to be successful? I’m just so worried about his future, college etc. I don’t know what to do