Counselling for DD11 to improve her self-esteem? What do you think?

[TR888]

My daughter is being referred for potential inattentive AHDH. She struggles to make friends and this upsets her. At home, she can be quite aggressive to us and her siblings, although that is getting a little better lately (it might not last, though!).

She's just started secondary school and her first couple of weeks have been fine. Her behaviour improved massively and she has a reasonably good bedtime and morning routine. However, I can see signs that her anger is back. For example, this evening was difficult. She said she was the only girl without a partner in PE because they were odd numbers, and straight away she mumbled something about not being able to make friends. She keeps saying she's ugly and you should look at her, she's beautiful! She gets tons of positive reinforcement from us and her siblings, I don't understand.

Anyway, I think counselling of some sort might help build up her self-image and esteem. Do you have any thoughts about what kind of counselling might be useful and how to go about finding the right professional? Thanks.

Bump

Last try!

It does sound as though it might be useful. But I'm afraid I don't have specific advice.

Does she do anything outside school which she can be proud of or where she can make friends? (Martial arts are often a good option for control and anger management. I've known ADHD children get very good and that does build self esteem.)

Thanks. She says no to every activity I suggest, it's really frustrating. That's why I think some kind of therapy might help.

That's difficult then. Therapy would be worth a go. Is there a reason she refuses to do activities? (Is she anxious about going, or worried about taking part, or just not interested?)

@TR888. Very similar situation here. I paid for private assessment and counselling was recommended but is proving very hard to access because the waiting lists are so long (even for private). I would definitely recommend following it up. Initially I managed to get a CAMHS referral through the primary school but we are still waiting for any action on that. I also went through an online counselling service which I couldn't really recommend as it seemed a lot of £££ just to be told that counselling would be a good idea. I am now going to go through the school and see what they advise - they are very big on mental health and have a lot more resources that the primary so I'm going to hassle them for some support.