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SN teens and young adults

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Struggling with dd (15) and never ending pinching food.

2 replies

Lovemusic33 · 06/06/2021 20:43

Pretty sure dd has food poisoning so she won’t be going back to school tomorrow.

Dd is quite severely autistic but is classed as ‘classic autism’ and sometimes even ‘high functioning’, she attends a sn school but they don’t seem to realise the struggles I have with her at home.

She will pinch food (I have been posting about it for many years and have tried everything), we have locks everywhere but I often forget to lock them or we try her with the doors open in hope she has changed. We have even installed cameras in the kitchen using Alexa but they take a while to connect and she’s very fast. She has now started taken uncooked food including some sausages, she doesn’t always eat what she takes, sometimes she takes it to her room and hides it or squishes it up and plays with it. She will take food from other peoples houses and will even try and take from shops and people at school, school seems to find it amusing 😬.

I’m also struggling with her overall hygiene, she refuses to wash, clean teeth (I often have to do them for her), she will sleep in her school uniform and refuse to take it off, I have bought her nice new pj’s but she won’t wear them. She has cut her own hair several times and now looks ridiculous.

I feel like I can’t keep her safe, I don’t want to live in house that feels like a prison, with locked everywhere. I can’t have anything nice as she takes it and breaks it, Dd1 has to keep everything locked away and I have to lock anything I don’t want ruined in my bedroom.

I feel awful but I am looking at 16+ placements for her, i think she would benefit from a residential but her current school seem to think she should go to a mainstream collage where she would not be safe. No one listens to what I want or what dd2 needs.

I have no life, I can’t work because I have to care for her, I have no social life and my home doesn’t feel like a home ☹️. I really don’t know what to do anymore or who to talk too about a residential placement. We get some respite but have been messed around by carers during covid.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 07/06/2021 21:15

I am so sorry it sounds awful. You really need to give yourself permission to trust what you know is best for her and your family and if you think its 16+ placements than that is what you should do. Professionals know that girls in particular are good at masking in public places so its such a shame her school is not acknowledging your opinion. Don't feel guilty - not only does it sound like its the best thing for your DD1 but it sounds like the best thing for you and DD2. DD2 also has a right to some quality time with you and I bet DD1 has been dominating that for a long time.

Ellie56 · 26/06/2021 18:13

Ok some questions:

Does DD have an EHC Plan? If so when is the next Annual Review due?

Does DD have a social worker? Have you had a Carer's Assessment?

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