I am a deaf mother, and I trying to grow up my children. Both of my children have hearing difficulties because I couldn’t provide enough stimuli for their ears because of my deafness. Well, firstly, my 1st child [name removed] has eating disorder, drog addict, gambling addict with Borderline Personality Disorder, and I know the reasons: I suffered from postpartum depression after my first childbirth, so my first child's father, who was abusive anyway and likened my condition to childhood tantrum and said I wasn’t even good as a mother... he abused me physically and emotionally as well in front of my first child's eyes from her age of three months to her one and a half years: therefore, I couldn't be enough supportive and warm.. as children needs it. But I did heroically which I could do. To this day, I blame myself for my parental incompetence and my deafness and that I can just communicate with sign language. My children learnt sign language. So, when [DD] was one and a half years old, I finally went to court, who sentenced the father to prison. I haven't gone to court before because my deafness made it difficult for me to find an intimate partner and / or a judge at all, and I felt that even an abusive father was better than having to raise a child as a deaf person alone: however, the abuse had escalated greatly by then, which has already endangered my life. I got and able to keep his house instead of my first child's father, citing and referring my disability and presenting the supporting documents. Three-fourth months after my daughter's father went to jail, I was fired from my job. After that, I attended a class meeting where one of my classmates helped me out because in exchange for her money, I chore, and did housework in her house and gardening in her little garden, and I lived from benefits (unemployment benefits, social assistance, family support, childcare allowance, disability benefits for the deafs). I recovered from postpartum depression when I turned to a parenting counselor for help and eventually got a job. In 2008, borned my 2nd child [name removed], he has with Asperger Syndrome and ADHD and outbursts of anger. In 2012, our son's father was tired of this difficult life and he moved suddenly after New Year. But I write about DD: my 1st child began self-harm at she was 14 years old, and, when she was 15 years old, she has been unclassified eating disorder. As a deaf person, it was also difficult to find a psychologist or nutrition counselor because they had to understand sign language, and therefore I hired a sign language-speaking interpreter from the association of the deafs. Finally, [DD] and I went to a psychologist and nutrition counselor too, with more occasions too, but the treatments didn’t really work out, just to short time periods. I felt that I waste my money, but I did everything. We cried together at home with [DD] while 4-5 year old [DS] was playing on the computer. [DS] barely eats because computers are her favorites and he is busy with them all day. I know our situation is very difficult, but no one understands us! Healthy people can only imagine how awful it is to be deaf and raising children who I can’t heal with just one magic word. My life is also very problematic as you see, and I strive with superhuman energy every day to raise them. Anxiety is commonplace with us, and DS's conduct disorder is getting more and more severe: I feel like I torn in two between my daughter and my little son, I feel like I can’t give either of them what they really need. Plus, we live in New York, where the Coronavirus is strongest: I dread every day, I try to support my children beyond my strength during this difficult and very stresful time for me too, so I think I’m just asking you to support us emotionally and cheer for us. Please pray for us! Thanks for this webpage allowing me to describe this. Blessings to you!