My son is at college, going into an HND in Computing Science. He gets PIP, and can’t prepare meals or do shopping. He does absolutely nothing to help in the house, his bedroom is a total mess. He’s had a bank account for a few years, but won’t/can’t use a debit card. I have to make all his meals, then try to get him to come away from the computer to eat.
I also have 2 younger children, their father died a year ago, so I have no help there. My oldest sees his dad who lives 30 miles away some weekends, but never overnight.
My issue is that I really want to move next year to an area where I know a few more people. My son could move with me, but he doesn’t want to move his college course. He would still have 2 years to go. If I moved, I could probably get him student flat, though it’s just a college, and these are mainly used for foreign students.
I just feel my son needs encouraged towards more independence, and also that I am struggling. I feel his dad and other relatives could do more.
He was diagnosed with ASD age about 13, and wasn’t happy about the diagnosis, and I think blames me for it.
So any thoughts about encouraging independence, or assessing if someone can live independently? I really want to move next year, could delay another year possibly, but not any longer as I want to move before my middle son starts secondary.