“Exit Passes” for learning difficulties

[angelarodriguez]

I might sound a bit like a bit of a bratty mum in this post, apologies in advance but hear me out.

Problem 1:
Though she hasn’t been diagnosed, I have a small feeling my eldest daughter has ADHD. Mind you, I’m only basing it off of what I know about the disorder personally, but I’m not too sure who to go to for an all clear or a diagnosis. Any advice?

Problem 2:
Due to this suspicion I shared with her primary school teachers, my daughter was always treated as a SEN child in primary. She did her SATS in a quiet room with a TA to avoid getting distracted or overwhelmed. However, she’s now in high school and I’d hoped the primary school would maybe pass on the behaviour notes they had of her. This sadly wasn’t the case and my daughter is struggling to get the help she needs as a student with learning difficulties. I know that a few students in her classes have diagnosed ADHD, are on the spectrum etc, and they have an exit pass where they can leave the classroom for 5 minutes, just like what my daughter would do in primary school to manage her anger or emotions. I’m considering maybe asking for her to get one, but I’m debating on whether I should. I’m also unsure of how to handle getting her the pass anyway.. any help would be appreciated, thank you!!

Angela

my daughter is struggling to get the help she needs as a student with learning difficulties
Sorry to sound awkward, but as far as hard evidence goes, so far it's only your opinion that she has learning difficulties. To determine whether she has or not, she needs to be referred, probably by your GP and for them to do that, you need to provide as much evidence as you can of how and why she is different to her peers.

Also, several other conditions also have similar traits to what most people think ADHD is, (can't keep still and can't concentrate for long) so don't only request an assessment for ADHD, request a referral for a comprehensive multi-disciplinary assessment of your DD's educational needs.

By all means ask her Primary school for a letter detailing her needs there, but more importantly, you ideally need support from her secondary school. You can ask for GP referral without school's support, but sometimes GP's won't refer if school aren't on board and all you're left with then is the option to go private. If that happens, post again for specific advice.

First things first, see the school SENCO and ask if s/he has any concerns about your DD's behaviour, coping abilities, executive function etc. Ask SENCO to ask the teachers for their comments on her behaviour and the standard of her work in comparison to her peers and if they see anything that warrants investigating, ask for a letter to take to your GP.
Then book a GP appt on your own to discuss the GP referring your DD for assessment.
Depending on the area you live in, the NHS diagnostic process for many neurodiverse conditions is running at around 18 months to 2 years.

Exit passes - it depends whether the school only issue exit passes for pupils with diagnoses and reports which recommend them, or whether they issue them at their own discretion. Ask SENCO.

The whole process of assessment, diagnosis, individual recommendations and EHCP which will see a young person through secondary and Uni can be a long-drawn-out one, so the sooner you can get started the better.

Ds's school gave him a 5-point scale when he received his ASD diagnosis. This works in the same kind of way as an exit pass apart from he has stages to work through. We have recently been told he can leave any lesson at any time and he doesn't need to say anything. He can go straight to learning support and they will let teachers know where he is. Unfortunately Ds is not able to use these stratagies, so they are a complete waste of time. Not that the school listen to my concerns.

I think there are pupils at his school that use these stratagies without a diagnosis.

Blank is right assessments and diagnosis take a very long time and in Ds's case has not really helped with securing him anymore support.

@BlankTimes and @Punxsutawney Thank you so much ladies, I’ll be sure to get her to a GP. I had no idea they had the power to refer to special needs specialists. I’ll be sure to call in with the schools SENCO!! Also @Punxsutawney that sounds similar to what my daughter told me, but Christ the schools can be so unresponsive at times. Hope your DS gets all the support needed, wishing both of you a happy early new year!!

angel in our area it's the school's Senco that refer 'school age' children for neurodevelopmental assessments. I would definitely speak to the Senco too. But it does differ around the country and other areas it would be to a gp. Good luck!

Punx your son's school is a disgrace, they'll never do anything useful for him, some schools are like that. They just don't "do" AN, sometimes I suspect they just don't "do" AN in certain children. My dd's primary was the same, she was treated abysmally.

Lots of parents who post here have found that some schools are literally ghastly when it comes to accommodating their child's documented needs. It shouldn't happen, but sadly it does. Then there's the added stress of the child not wanting to change schools because of the unknown, no matter how dreadful the current school is, in their view, at least it's a constant and because they are rigid thinkers, they feel they'd not cope with a change.

Yet when that change happens and they are in an environment where the bullying stops and they are valued and helped, it's like a different world. It IS a different world for them.

Finding the right environment is a huge challenge.

Is there any way you can have your son at home until his MH has improved? Just let him be, stop his studies, take all the pressures off him, and concentrate on his wellbeing. You don't have to de-register him immediately, just tell school the truth, he's too ill to attend.

He can continue his education at a different school or FE college at some time in the future when he's well enough. You could have an EHCP in place by then

Blank they are just awful. I can't tell you how much stress they have caused Ds and us too. They have absolutely no understanding of him and his needs. They don't understand that the strategies they have put in place aren't working. Ds will not use them and struggles to communicate his needs. They refuse to try anything different.

Ds has been referred to Camhs by our gp but she is not hopeful of the referral being accepted. The school offered to refer him for support with his ASD and mental health issues and then told us that they would not fund it. They have referred him through the 'Early help partnership' at our LA which I don't think is what he needs at all. I cried so much after their refusal to fund it. They are adamant that Ds is entitled to nothing and said they will be sending us a bill in the post. Sendiass says it's not worth applying for an EHCP as it will take too long now. We are preparing to fight the school on their decision in the new term. They have no compassion or understanding and I don't think they will change their minds on this though. It's probably worth the fight and complaint as I'm sure we are thought of as difficult parents, so we have nothing to lose.

Amazingly Ds did reasonably well in his mocks, purely because he's actually a bright young man, he won't reach his potential but I don't care about that. His grades were nothing to do with his school's teaching or support and he did hardly any revision. We are going to try and hold on (as long as his mental heal holds up enough) and move him to the sixth form his brother went to. Ds says he can't move because he's scared of change (like you mention). I've told him that it could be a new start. His school life is awful even now he has had his diagnosis. He regularly has food thrown at him (even though staff know how vulnerable he is) and other unpleasant stuff happen. The school is overwhelming and quite a violent place with aggression and disruption a daily occurance. Ds knows no different though, he's so used to it he thinks this environment is normal.

They have just been terrible. The Senco won't even have contact with us, she delegates all her work to a TA. If Ds can hold out we have until June and then he can leave, I would definitely remove him if it got too much though. I deeply regret sending and keeping him there until year 11. I just hope another school for sixth form might be able to repair some of the damage.

Sorry angel for that moan on your thread!

Punx
If Ds can hold out we have until June and then he can leave
I'd be very concerned about the "If" because of how you've described his fragile MH recently.
Ds knows no different though, he's so used to it he thinks this environment is normal
That's heartbreaking to read

I believe someone else has recently advised that SENDIASS have given you the wrong advice and that you need to contact SOSSEN about his EHCP. www.sossen.org.uk/contact_us.php

Blank yes I think the Sendiass advice is not great. Dh and I have always presumed he wouldn't need an EHCP as his difficulties are not nearly as profound as so many other children. The school's complete stubborness and refusal to help may mean we have no choice though.

I'm of the opinion that they have referred him to 'Early help' as the LA pay half and then expect schools to pay the rest. The school then tell us its our responsibility meaning they pay absolutely nothing. Any other outside support then the expectation would be on them to pay. Ds has never had any psychological assessment or input alongside his diagnosis. They have asked Early help to offer support with his poor interaction and his communication needs. He needs a professional experienced in that area not just a counsellor who has no experience of ASD, which is likely what Early help will offer.

At the moment he still has 20mins a week mentoring with a TA, I read the notes of their meetings. It's always the same, she asks Ds if he's ok and he says he's fine so he can leave the meeting as soon as possible. She often writes that he is withdrawn, fidgitiy, hardly interacting. The Senco has said that he is not entitled to and will not get anymore than those 20mins even though they achieve nothing and are a complete waste of time. Why the can't see it's not working is beyond me.

I feel terrible guilt over this whole situation. The late diagnosis, the awful school experience, it is heartbreaking when he talks about the bullying, the mocking(even by teachers), his possessions damaged and stolen and so much more. I should have been a better advocate for him. I will withdraw him if it gets too much in the next 6 months. Ds has not been at school for a couple of weeks now because of the holidays and although we are dealing with all his anxiety and stress associated with his autism it's been good not to have the shadow of school hanging over him and us for a while.

I'm hoping 2020 is a better year for him and he finally gets the support he needs. I have no doubt we will have a fight on our hands though.

I've no idea about the funding, but I've never heard of a state school asking parents to pay.

Think carefully about what you want to do NOW, lots of the injustice and vile treatment - hopefully ALL of it - will stop when your son no longer attends. He's only there for another 6 months max.
Is there time to achieve any measurable positive difference in the way his school treat him in that timeframe?

I know, I know exactly how you feel and how unjust it is and how vile they are and what they have done to your son and it's natural to want to see them punished in some way for it, because in a fair world that would happen

BUT

You may find your energies are better placed from now on creating a strong supportive secure future for him at the FE college or wherever he chooses to spend the next couple of years of his life.
Make sure they can accommodate his needs, make sure they will have qualified staff in place to help him etc.

You are right Blank. We won't achieve much in the time he has left there. I feel so bitter towards them but it would be far more productive thinking about the future. I just hope he feels confident enough to make the move elsewhere.

We are adamant though we will not be paying the bill for the support they have referred him for. My only concern is that they would take legal action against us if we refused to pay. We will have to see what the new term brings. I'm sure there will be more stress along the way!