Aspergers can anyone relate ? 😟

[thefootofourstairs]

Ds2 20 years old . Very high functioning , has a full time job , hobbies etc but he is far from happy . Says he’s lonely and has been having meltdowns blaming me . Gets on with people to a point but doesn’t have any real friends . Plays in a band with his dad and his friend and goes off to skate parks etc and socialises a bit but no meaningful connections.
He’s just spent 2 weeks visiting family in another country where he had the time of his life . Now he’s back he can’t handle being back to lonely and working and is taking it out on me big time . Says he doesn’t care about anything anymore etc
To make matters worse , family saw only his high functioning good side and are saying his diagnosis is wrong and it must be me .
Feel really sad and worried about him and sad that my family can’t understand. It’s making me ill .

Yes, I can relate to this. My DD age 20 has ASD and has just got back from a visit to relatives in another country! She had a great time and similarly the relatives think a lot of issues are down to me. DD has also struggled since being back and doesn't know what to do next in life and has very few social connections. She is taking a lot of it out on us and I completely understand how it makes you feel ill. I am trying to get out on long dog walks for my sanity.

Sorry, I don't really know what the solution is. But it is good that your DS has a job and hobbies. Can he take up something new eg an evening class starting soon?? Might meet more people? I know that this is probably only a very small thing that might help.

I can relate to this! My DD is 19, and has Aspergers and significant Social Anxiety. She has no real friends and life consists of her work and her bedroom. Plus, she still goes to dance lessons aimed at children and teenagers. She has always struggled socially and has little or nothing in common with those she works with, and in anycase they all appear to have well established friendship groups. Her one alleged friend, repeatedly lets her down whenever they do arrange something. She is really lonely and it breaks my heart. I've tried suggesting she joins groups, but she's not interested. As with pp, people rarely see the autism and family are mystified at how she struggles. I can't see anything changing for her currently and it's making me feel really low. Any plans DH and I had to travel, visit friends overseas etc as the DC moved into adulthood, are on what appears to be permanent hold because we can't imagine how she'd cope entirely alone for more than a day or so without the loneliness overwhelming her. Shame we can't arrange for all these lost souls to meet each other!

Carlamity sorry your bearing the brunt of it too . I seem to go from feeling angry and like packing his bags to desperately sorry for him and heartbroken on a weekly basis . I took on a dog a couple of years ago intending to do a lot of walking and turned out that the dog suffers anxiety and does more sitting down than walking . Have recently got a behaviourist for him 🤦‍♀️ He’s still the best thing that ever happened to us though . Ds2 loves him to bits .

Blimppy totally no where your coming from with the travel plans etc . Dh takes on the role of best friend for ds2 much of the time when I had hoped to be enjoying time together . Sometimes I feel like life is passing me by especially as I now suffer anxiety myself aswell . Sorry you feel low