SN teen stress on marriage

[Runrabbit1]

Hi just wondered how your relationships have been affected by having a SN teen?

I am married but we don't yet live together due to my eldest son. (This is a second marriage with two boys each) we are due to move soon but my partner brought up that he will find it difficult living with my son.
He is nearly 14yrs with ADHD, emerging conduct disorder, OCD and possible Autism. He can be very angry and aggressive sometimes, mainly verbally but sometimes physically. He hates change and is very controlling about lots of things, including where me and my youngest son sit for example.
I want desperately to live with my husband but am scared that my son's behaviour will ruin us. He's still got all his teenage years to get through and teenagers are horrible at the best of times.
I would like to know how a child like mine has impacted relationships? If it's both your biological child and if it's a stepchild.
And any advice on how to cope.
Thanks

Hi
I don't have any advice , but just wanted to say hi. My DS is 13 has ADHD and ODD, very challenging, angry, physically threatening, violent etc. Quite difficult. I have a boyfriend but he hasn't moved in, I think he'd find it difficult too. I think it might be worth getting some help for you all as the process happens, or before it - maybe family therapy or coaching etc so you can all have a say in how things may be. Maybe it has to be an extremely slow transition? Good luck

I'll be honest - we struggle. We've nearly split up several times. I always defend my son but it is hard to justify his behaviour and he doesn't really respond to discipline of any sort.
Do you get any respite? We hold it together by making an effort when the boys are at their dad's. I think in these circs you have to work doubly hard at your marriage.