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Original poster

One of the worst days of my entire life..

10 replies

Lifeisshort123 · 03/10/2016 21:47

DS (15) has been hit my a car near my youngest DC's school. I feel like such an awful mother for taking my eyes of him for even a second. I didn't leave him unattended for long, he was waiting outside DD's classroom whilst I spoke to her teacher as he didn't want to come inside I kept glancing up at him to check he was still there and when I glanced at him again he was gone. I had to appologize to DD's teacher and I rushed of to find him. I searched all around the area where he had been standing and then I rushed out to where other parents were standing and then I saw him. Sad
He was hit by a car going 20mph and is now in ICU after having a full blown seizure from a head injury. He arrived at hospital at 4pm and I've had to leave him and I feel so guilty. He's got a leg which is awful but I'm mostly worried about his poor leg. I feel so awful, what if the school contact SS and think I can't look after him properly. Do I need to hand DS to someone who can look after him properly as I clearly can't?Sad
I feel awful for letting this happen.

OP posts:
StillMedusa · 03/10/2016 23:33

Accidents happen.They just do. Short of chaining your DS to you , you cannot prevent every single possible event, and you/he were unlucky :(

Please don't beat yourself up about it.

Is your son verbal? Can he say why he wandered off? If he has enough understanding then 'cars are dangerous stay by me ' message may get through. I wouldn't worry about SS either.. although if they are contacted as a follow up (which can happen with any child ) it would be a good time to ask for support... direct payments to fund a carer at pick up time?

My son (ASD) also got knocked down by a car... he was lucky and escaped with massive bruises. My DD2 was hit by a drunk motorcyclist (!!) sustaining head injuries and some nasty leg injuries. 6 months later she is pretty much recovered.. she is 22 with no disabilities..just unlucky.

Please try not to beat yourself up.. focus on helping him recover :)

OrlandaFuriosa · 03/10/2016 23:38

Oh my goodness, poor you, poor him. No if course you weren't a dreadful mother. You were doing your best.

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 04/10/2016 20:37

My son is non verbal and has ASD as well as Down syndrome and other special needs. Nothing has been said yet from the school and he is still in hospital. I've never wanted to have an extra cater for DS as I want him to be treated the same as my other children as much as he can possibly be. He's woken up now as is due to have surgery on his leg asap. I try to wrap him up in cotton wool but I can't always do that. Sad
I'm glad your DD made a full recovery.:)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 04/10/2016 20:39

I'm just hoping his results come back and it's not as bad as I think. He was unconscious for 30 hours and stopped breathing twice though so I'm petrified about long term damage.

OP posts:
HaPPy8 · 04/10/2016 20:50

You poor soul this is NOT your fault. I hope your son makes a good recovery x

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 04/10/2016 21:05

Thank you Sad x

OP posts:
LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 05/10/2016 16:28

I'm so sorry, this must be awful for you. I second what others say, this really is not your fault. There is no way the school or SS will suggest that this demonstrates you can't look after him properly. However, I would suggest you think again about asking for help - you and he are entitled to this, and you should be planning for the future anyway when you may be less able to look after him.

I do hope he's OK and getting better now.

TheTyrannyOfMAGENTA · 05/10/2016 16:40

Oh I feel for both of you! What a horrible accident. And it was just that, an accident and not your fault.

I hope he makes a speedy recovery and please don't beat yourself up about this.

ASISAYNOTASIDO · 04/11/2016 02:03

Take care and fingers crossed for both of you. You are obviously a very devoted and loving parent - SS have plenty of cases where children are not loved to worry about so I doubt they will be anything other than supportive. It does sound like a small bit of support would be useful though and it's not a sign of not being able to look after him - it's a sign that with more than one child you will always have competing responsibilities.

Amaried · 09/12/2016 21:47

Honestly please don't worry about social services. - accidents happen to well loved children every day of the week, just one of those things

Just concentrate on helping your ds get well and be kind to yourself!

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