Wondering if DS is right in thinking he has ADHD

[couldthisberelevant]

I have been on MN for years but NC for this as my DC know my usual NN.

My DS, mid 20s, has had all sorts of difficulties since the age of about 8 or 9. He is extremely intelligent - very bright, but always a little bit different, had difficulties with friendships and mixing socially.

Underachieved massively in education, dropped out of school, went back, went to university, dropped out. Complained of being bored at school - difficulty in sticking with the task in hand, but able to focus on stuff that does interest him.

Made and lost large amounts of money with various entrepreneurial schemes - takes huge risks that sometimes pay off, sometimes don't.

Suffers with bouts of depression that only get worse with antidepressants. (He gets brain fog and can't function with ADs)

Has sleep issues and has, in the past, resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope. Can't seem to maintain a relationship with a girlfriend - always attracts/is attracted to people with some sort of problems themselves.

He is extremely good at technical/computer/mechanical stuff but gets bored/depressed easily.

Can't hold down a conventional job.

Well done if you have got this far - I don't know if any of this chimes with anyone or if it makes any sense. The thing is - I am desperate.
He has been suicidal many times. He feels he will never "fit in " and would be better off dead.

In the past I have wondered if he could be on the spectrum - there is a family history - but I am not sure and probably clutching at straws.

He has tried counselling, he has seen a psychiatrist who said he has an addictive personality but didn't offer any useful suggestions/help.

Can anybody offer any suggestions?

Anybody?
DS really thinks that this might be his problem and wants to find way of getting a diagnosis and help.

How would I start to find some help?

GP no help so far - just gave him sleeping tablets that caused hallucinations. He won't go back.

He sounds very similar to my DH who is awaiting diagnosis (12 month waiting list!) but has been told by a psychiatrist he almost certainly has ADHD. I'm afraid all I can advise is going back to the GP and asking for referral again - or maybe looking at a private diagnosis? We are thinking about this but haven't investigated how to go about it yet.
Good luck, I've found it much easier to understand him now I know what's going on, it's just very frustrating waiting for it to be official and for some treatment!

Thank you so much for replying.

I am so worried about him I would try anything to help.

I have always known there was something, but felt helpless as he has only ever been offered antidepressants and sleeping pills - both of which render him unable to function.

He has no faith in GPs.

Should I be looking for a psychologist or a psychiatrist?

I have just found and C&P this from a private hospital website.
It describes DS perfectly.

"ADHD sufferers are often very intelligent, creative and intuitive people who regularly exhibit symptoms including:

Sense of underachievement, organisational difficulties, procrastination, and many projects underway simultaneously which are seldom completed
Interpersonal problems, a tendency to blurt things out without thinking, and problems in relationships
Search for high stimulation and a low threshold tolerance
A tendency to worry, a sense of insecurity, and mood swings
Anxiety, depression and substance misuse"

I don't know if we can afford private care though.

I suspect you will get results faster if you can manage to find the fees for a private psychiatrist. Once you have their assessment and diagnosis you can take it to the GP and he should be able to slot into the NHS system going forward. It will take time and you may have to push a bit but it will happen (followed this route with my DS aspie and ADHD).