14yr DS Asperger - agression

[ASDMumDS14]

My DS is 14 with ASD and is hugely shouty and agressive. Everything we ask him to do is a battle, homework, tidying room (all the usual stuff) he doesnt do much around the house

Everyone is a 'stupid moron' (his actual words) - today he has punched and kicked me as i asked him to empty the kitchen bin (SAHD has D&V, so i have made him stay out of the kitchen) All i get is its not my job to empty the bins , its Younger Brothers job (YB job is the small wasterpaper bins around the house, not the big kitchen bin) I have explained YB went shopping for lunch today, and helped to prepare lunch, but still "its not my job its his" and "I do more around the house, i feed the cats" - (5 mins in the morning, and evening)

He's getting bigger, and i worry about him. I dont know how to help him - am at the point where i want to pack a bag for him and phone social services to take him away, even though i know if i leave it for a bit he will be back to being lovely - i dont know what do to, i cant live in a house where he does nothing because we are scared to ask him

He wont get off his pc and spends all his time shouting at it, and when i try and remove him from it he gets aggressive

I have a supportive DH (his bio dad in case it matters), and he has a younger brother.

(i've ordered the explosive child as recommended by another poster)

We had violence for 14 years...against parents and siblings.the last time he pinned ds2 up against the wall and was punching him,I got in between them and locked him out of the house.left him out there no socks or shoes..had no choice.we weren't safe...after that I said I would phone the police if he layed a finger on any of us again...so far I've not had to.he knew I meant it..because I did

I can relate to that. I'd just say choose your battles wisely. Remember that he has a disability and that you cannot have the same expectations of him as you would of another kid his age. Watch him closely for signs that he might go into meltdown and back off immediately. Don't make winning a battle your priority. Think about other ways of getting him to do stuff, e.g, do a deal or tell him that it would really help you if he did x. Try different approach es. I'm still learning!!!