teeanger with anxiety disorder

[rachele1970]

can anyone help with advice on 14yr daughter who suffers from anxiety. Out of control, now missing days off school, won't go on family holidays, causing an immense amount of stress and pressure on rest of family. Dr referred her to child psychiologist but on a waiting list, struggling to get anyone to take this seriously and get any support?

Are you in a position to pay for a private counsellor?

Hi, yes we've been paying for a private counsellor for over a year and it doesn't seem to be working for her. No one seems to take this condition seriously enough, we are now on a NHS childrens centre waiting list but could be another month before we get an appointment, despite me going into the drs and ringing them constantly. She is only managing to get to school half the days at the moment which that in it's self puts starin on the rest of the family.

This sounds really tough Rachel. Having similar problems with DS age 13. He is in counselling. What about a different counsellor? CBT? It's so frustrating when people don't take it seriously. Do you know where her anxiety stems from?

Daughter has always shown signs of being anxious and has been very difficult to get her out of her comfort zone. Unfortunatley my husband and I split up 3 years ago which I know has made her anxiety worse. We live 5 minutes away from her dad and we share the children equal time but she does not seem to have the ability to cope with change. I have two other children who find her increasingly difficult and it's upsetting to see her alienate herself from them. You are right no one seems to take it seriously and there is little help with knowing how to deal with her anxiety on a daily basis. V frustrated. What type of therapy does your son receive?

Hi

• Is your daughter's school offering any help/support? School counsellor? School nurse?

• Could you try seeing a different GP at yr local practice?

DD1 (Yr 6, eating disorder linked to severe anxiety and phobia) is seeing her school counsellor while we wait for her sessions with mental health nurses (specialising in EDs, based in specialist community CAMHS team) to start. School counsellor is limited in what she can offer because not specialist, but at least providing a weekly outlet for DD1 to discuss issues outside of home. DD1 a bit cynical about school counsellor ('so patronising!') but it's something while we wait, wait, wait. Get the impression that one of school counsellor's main focuses is to help children remain engaged in education.

DD1 has previously seen school nurse and been assessed by general Camhs team (but deteriorated v. quickly so I went back to GP and pushed to see specialist team).

BUT DD1 still at primary school, not sure about what would have been on offer at secondary school? Also not sure yet what the mh nurses will actually do with DD1 but assuming there will be some kind of CBT.

Sending you hugs and best wishes - this is all really hard to deal with, I know.

Am in the same position with my DS1 (12). He's been off school since December and won't go out, except to the local playground for about 15 minutes a day (and only with a lot of persuasion, ie. banning computer use if he doesn't go). He has been put on Prozac and has had some CBT. In spite of that, he deteriorated rapidly at secondary school. We are waiting for further CBT sessions. I have just paid for a course pack to help children and adults with anxiety. It seems fairly sensible and has made me feel more hopeful. I can pm you the details if you like, but I can't say if it will work yet or not.

We have a holiday booked for June and DS says he can't go, so we will probably have to cancel it .

It's actually good that your DD has been managing half days at school, even though I know it's very stressful. At least she is still getting out and facing her anxieties.

I do sympathise with you. It's very, very stressful and you feel very alone.

Dd 15 has severe ocd and now refuses to go to counselling.
Tbh, although it helped initially about 4 years ago, I haven't seen much difference.
Her school have been very g ood...she sees someone there once a week and can access a special room if she gets very anxious.
She has recently gone on the pill which seems to be helping with mood swings and general hormonal stuff.
We've had a good 6 weeks but then she had a major meltdown last night as ds accidentally used her toothbrush...cue self harming on face and hands. She now can't go out.

Oh and we have stopped family holidays.
Not worth the emotional angst.
We all go separately.

That's so sad, Mrsrobert. Can you try a different counsellor? The trouble is that DC get fed up with seeing so-called 'experts'. I know my son finds seeing professionals very stressful, especially when so many of them don't seem to be any help. We have a particularly lovely CBT counsellor for DS now, but DS walked out on her during a recent anxiety episode. He was just in such a state of panic that her words were causing him more stress, instead of helping.

It's good that the school is being supportive. DS's secondary school was wonderful and, like your daughter, provided DS with somewhere he could go when he felt too anxious to stay in the classroom. Sadly, even that didn't work in the end.

We've had 3 counsellors...it just wasn't worth the £59 a session.
She was just going through the motions.

Sorry to hear that, Mrsrobert. Unfortunately, your DD has to want to get well, otherwise no counsellor can help. I just keep suggesting things to DS and trying to expand his boundaries. I insist that he goes out every day, even if only for 15 minutes. If he doesn't go out, he doesn't get his computer time. This seems to work. Last night, we discussed things he'd like to do if he didn't have anxiety and I said they are 'goals', eg going swimming, walking a neighbour's dog. We are taking small steps towards each. For instance, he won't go in the car anymore, so I have suggested he just sit in the car for a short time. Then we'll build up to a drive round the block etc. You need the patience of a saint, mind you!

You must be very worried about term starting again. Do you think your DD will be able to go back to school?

My 11 year old has just been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. He has lots of meltdowns when things don't go his way. Does anyone else's AD child do this? It is so disruptive for the family.