The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

[roaringdragon]

Everyone is welcome, and the thread disappears after 90 days.

Thank you for the last thread @lougle. I hope the doctor was helpful and DD2 isn’t feeling too rubbish this morning.

DS1 has used the last of his EOTAS hours today. There will be at least a few weeks before the EHCP is finalised and funding restarts. He will hopefully have his operation during that time, but it is still going to feel like a long time without that provision.

DS is another with no fear of snakes - remember being in rainforest in Costa Rica and tour guide said he would go ahead to deal with any snakes and DS then 9 said its fine I'll go first and deal with snakes. 😂He then kept going ahead.

Thanks @roaringdragon Hope A&E can sort you a treatment quickly.

A 2 week extension could be useful as we could get hopefully bathroom and shed done before then and I'm nervous about calling people whilst we have things over the downstairs. Plus it would be too much for DS to have work and people visit though it may well be nobody visits but want to be prepared.

Though am trying to persuade DH we need to clear things in dining room and living room as we go but men are always oblivious. I have booked a bulky waste collection we can put old carpet cleaner and bathroom old worktop in but its 2 week time.

I saw someone online said they had typed out the whole form in a separate document just with question numbers and got to 47 pages and 12 pages of evidence and got approved in 24 hours. So am now typing everything in Word and that's as good as online - I just want a record I can keep and be able to amend things easily. I have worked out I can answer 1 page a day and just be within timeframe as I've done 2 pages today. 😂I was hoping for a break before the bathroom but doesn't look like we will be getting one now we are going to tidy everywhere and 25 pages of forms and preparing for bathroom work and putting shelves up in laundry room.

I've done various things over the years - typed in boxes, stuck it in and folded the excess over.

• written 'See additional evidence page x' and typed all the answers in a word document.
• typed in boxes that fit the answer box, then put 'continued on page x'

As long as it's legible and each additional page has the name and NI number on it, it's fine.

What I do know is that I don't care how long they think an answer to a question should be. I'm telling them everything I want to say on the subject.

I think DD1 would be scared. She just has very little insight. She talks as if she's Dr Doolittle, but in reality can't cope with attention from the dogs unless she wants it.

I think you can become accustomed to associating unhappiness or anxiety with physical symptoms. It’s happened to me. It’s just finding the crutch that works and then weaving a story that fits around it. Find better stories and better crutches.

The weekend was gruelling and ds is tired but I took him to the cinema today which we haven’t done for ages and it was ok. Not brilliant but that was because I was tired and so not blasting “fun” which is really what he needs for new things. It’s all quite a lot of energy from me even for Luke warm from him which is draining.

A large part of the painting is done and life is a fraction easier though garden still out of bounds and chaotic with builders. .

Thanks @Lougle That just reminded me I had missed the name and NI off but just added it as headers on each page.

One thing that persuaded me that you could get physical symptoms through thoughts as the mind is very powerful is if you tell yourself several times as a phrase I have chest pain and can't breathe very quickly you feel symptoms a bit like a heart attack is imminent. Which obviously it isn't.

Well done on painting @Zzzzzs

Hope A&E is quiet and your seen quickly @roaringdragon

arrh it was @Zzzzzs who was painting, I’m glad painting is finished.
We’ve hung back another door I’ve finished painting. I’m having a break this week from the next door as I’m struggling with a virus again. I think it’s this Covid variant as it’s had a weird hormonal impact whilst feeling like a fluie cold. DH has it too.

yes @PurringTiger exam count down is on eek DD2 is doing a mock today as pratice. Revision has had a step change as she’s actually had a oh crap moment a couple of weeks ago when she could see I was really worried she was going to fail one of them and couldn’t get her out of it. It’s been a steep developmental curve but she is actually applying some focus & we’ve had quite a few chats about how she will need to feel some pressure, and yes it’s scary, and it’s ok to fail. It’s been a roller coaster emotional few weeks. Exams are in November she has a chance of passing the tricky one but it’s going to be close. Hope the OU studies are progressing ok.

@JumpersFluffy that is a good point about needing to feel some pressure. Study is ramping up here too. I’ve been working and DD’s preferred study slot is 9pm-11pm with me followed by a 2 hour chit chat wind down. By the time we get through all the usual daily stuff we are both tired. DD is happily:grumbling through the module work but first assignment is due in soon and the demand makes DD freeze.

Gosh I’m asleep by 10pm @PurringTiger that’s a long day for you to keep co-regulating. Yes the “feeling mental presssure” has been an interesting feeling/concept to work through with her. I had spent most of her years aged11-14 trying to hold that pressure off her so she could rebuild mentally but I can’t protect her long term so I have been slowly drip feeding almost bits of “life” pressure or increasing demands on her plus lots of chatting about how we all juggle different feelings etc. She does have an older sibling juggling a lot which sometimes helps and sometimes doesn’t when she’s having a down day but however long it takes we are trying to help her “launch” I suppose into a world that’s not as forgiving whilst increasing her understanding of what she needs to regulate herself long term. It’s all a work in progress as usual. Good that studying is still moving forward for your DD though.
the mock exam went ok today & her tutor is going to mark it and let her have the results back this week. That was her strongest subject I’m still very worried she won’t sit the harder one but that’s now up to her.

@PurringTiger they are long days for you on top of work. I hope the assignment can be navigated successfully.

@JumpersFluffy well done DD with the mock. Good luck with the exams.

@Zzzzzs it is draining being on it all the time.

@Violasilkie any parts of the form you complete directly on the paper form rather than typing the answers, take a copy, scan or photograph before posting it.

typed in boxes that fit the answer box, then put 'continued on page x'

@lougle I would be careful doing ^this. Where an answer is part and part, I have seen cases where it is evident only the information on the form has been read and lazy staff haven’t bothered to read the continuation sheet. At least if it is all on a separate sheet, they have to look for it to start with.

Thanks all. I am home. I am on IV antibiotics, but I convinced them to allow me to have them via the OPAT service. I’m not allowed to give them myself, which is rather ironic since I am trusted to give them to DSs, but I realise different service/different rules, so nurses will visit.

I’m not sure they believed it was DS1 who had bitten me. The junior doctor was asking a lot of questions about homelife. Far beyond the standard set of questions. The hospital has made a safeguarding referral, so I was a bit surprised they agreed to home care.

As I was pulling off the drive last night, the GP called to check I was going. She is a very lovely GP but rather bossy.

Oh, good for your GP @roaringdragon
The news here is that our cat has been sick, and it turns out he has 5 broken ribs! I was extremely worried after my mum, of course your mind turns to the worst. As my DB said, eight lives left!

@roaringdragon That is good news! Let’s hope the IV antibiotics work.

@drspouse - having had three episodes of chest injuries this year, between me and DD1, and one broken rib is very painful! Poor cat with five? Has the cat been given their equivalent of strong painkillers? (I’ve forgotten their name)

Oh dear @roaringdragon . It's good that they are vigilant for signs of abuse but it's hard to be convincing that it really isn't that! I'm glad they agreed to home IVs.

Well done to the study mascots!

DD1 has been sobbing in pain again. Begging me to get her help from the hospital or the GP. Today I went for paracetamol (naproxen already on board), TENS machine, DD2's vibrating heated pad, a wheat bag, and a hot chocolate. It's not very fair.

He has now! We are hoping he feels more comfortable and his eating picks up soon.

DD2 has started her pre-surgery liquid diet and I have to say that I'm amazed that she's coping with it. She's a trooper.

Sorry your cat is poorly @drspouse . Poor thing.

@drspouse I’m sorry about your cat. I hope he improves quickly.

@Lougle well done DD2. I’m sorry it has been another bad day for DD1. I know you don’t have a bath, but it strikes me that you have tried many, many things to help, but one of the few things you haven’t tried is a bath. Do you think DD1 would try a camping bath/collapsable bath to see if that eased her pain at all?

I stopped trying to explain in the end. The more I explained and the more detail I gave, the more I realised to those who don’t understand it sounded less and less convincing that it was DS1. It didn’t help that I have bruises all over my arms from DS1 too.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

I thought the same about DD1. I did offer to take her to Nanny and Grandad's for a bath but she said she wasn't comfortable to be naked in their house. I can look into the pop up bath but I'm not sure if it would fit in the bathroom. We have a fixed half-height shower screen in the bathroom (wet room) and the remaining space is very small. I'll have to measure the shower space and see if it's wide enough.

I'm also not sure if I could get her in and out of it when she's in pain. She struggles to lift her leg in normal times, but it's worse when she's in pain. But I'll look at it. She could do with one of those walk in baths.

@Lougle would DD1 get in your DP’s bath in her swimming costume or t shirt and shorts? You could get a board or a seat for the bath so DD didn’t have to step in and out. Not sure they would work on a collapsible/camping bath.

Hope you feel better soon @JumpersFluffy

Glad study is progressing @PurringTiger though tiring for you on top of work.

Glad you have antibiotics @roaringdragon

DD2 is doing so well @Lougle with the diet.

Sorry about your cat @drspouse

Decided I am going to do the PIP form once a week rather than little bits every day as it brings back bad memories and this way I get a break from them. Decided to go out to do garden as its outside and nice and DH and I tell DS and he stays in and takes a bath. I look in our new laundry room and see DS has been using the new little sink in there to clean his teeth. Then we go out to garden and start clearing leaves and weeding with the 3 silkies who are singing and I discover a pile of ivy DS has cut down from the lane so clear that too and good he is doing some gardening. Must have been today or late yesterday as I cleared that area yesterday. Come back in and he's left his bathroom open after having it shut rest of the day so I go in and clear the rubbish he's put in there, mainly fruit peels and clean the sink and toilet. I see that he has taken the new duvet cover and sheet I bought for him, fleece ones. We also put the doorframe back on.

@Violasilkie I'm sorry you're having to think about the even more difficult times.

@roaringdragon I'm not sure...I could ask her.

Oh sorry, @JumpersFluffy, I missed you were unwell. I hope the viral infection is short lived.

Thanks @Violasilkie. It’s great DS has been gardening in the lane. Benefit forms are emotionally draining.

@Violasilkie its my biggest hurdle the sadness of writing it all down. Lazy reviewers and only reading the box text raised by @roaringdragon is making me rethink my form filing. It’s good that we are renewing at the same time as it’s stimulating a lot of goose wisdom.

@roaringdragon i find that kind of alertness very prescriptive. You told them the why and how, the lack of understanding and jump to safeguarding is energy in the system that could be applied to supporting the facts. Get well soon.

@PurringTiger I understand HCPs being vigilant to the risk of abuse. People aren’t always honest about the hows or whys when they are being abused. I understand that and the hospital’s duty. However, VCB that results in injury is life for some parent carers. We aren’t the only ones. It is part of the caring role that is often hidden from society and marred by shame. Facing disbelief pushes the topic and families further into the shadows. We will just have to wait to see what, if anything, comes from it. I’m not worried. We are already known to social care and we have evidence DS1 bites, hits, kicks, etc.

I think it's hard for people to understand how this happens and they assume that there must be solutions, so they decide it's not true because it makes them uncomfortable.

Are you starting to feel any better? IV abx should start to work quite quickly.

I am starting to feel better, thank you @Lougle. As well as feeling a bit better in myself, my HR isn’t as high and I no longer have a temperature.

Lots of people think DS1 just needs discipline, boundaries and consequences.