Had enough.

[poppyjane563]

Low functioning autistic 30 year old son. Caring for him alone his dad is dead. He keeps having violent meltdowns and injuring himself and me. Today he smashed his glasses and hurt his nose and tries to headbutt me
Family dont fecking care they make every excuse to not help. He has an obsession with the weather he hates it when it's sunny so has meltdown before the careworkers come to take him out for me to have a break so I have to call them to say he can't go out because of all of this. I love him to bits but he won't stop this obsession with the sun I even have to keep the TV off it not let him on the Internet because he looks at the weather and also have to hide my phone. I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out
Sorry don't usually come on here but just needed to shout it out.

This sounds so tough especially on your own. I’m sorry that your family don’t or aren’t able to help.

Has he always been like this with the sun? Is it sensory, the glare etc? Will he not wear a peaked cap and sunglasses? Sun umbrella?
Have social stories helped?
Does he not get more stressed when he doesn’t know what the weather will be like? Sorry just trying to think of strategies that might help. You know him best expect you have tried allsorts.
Could his interest be channelled with a weather board or chart?

Can he not do things that aren’t weather dependent like a day centre or indoor activity? Will they not support in the home.
Do you have an Adult Disability Team social worker? Could you discuss more support or respite.
I know it must be tough to think of the future but would you consider supported living? You could get back to being Mum instead of his carer.

Are there any support groups locally or do you know any parents with autistic adult children?

Don’t know if he’s used anything like this before?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4390071373/daily-weather-board-sen-classroom-visual?ls=r&external=1&ref=landingpage_similar_listing_top-1&dd=1&content_source=13a840a5cf961afbb59ca6faf06e4ecd%253ALT7db2389203b35fc74e14b3cc2c33322dc17cf24d&logging_key=13a840a5cf961afbb59ca6faf06e4ecd%3ALT7db2389203b35fc74e14b3cc2c33322dc17cf24d

Thank you so much for the replies I really appreciate it. I have tried weather charts. He is not like this when it's raining or windy or cloudy just sunny. He has been like this for a long while but as he gets older it gets worse.The support workers have tried him in a day center but he gets anxious and starts shouting so they bring him home as they don't want to upset him too much. I am at my wits end with it hes a loving young man apart from this. He did become anxious 15 years ago when his dad died as he thought if I went out I wouldn't come back so he hates me going out. I never wanted him to go on medication but now I'm wondering if I should think about it.

I was going to suggest that next. It sounds like you’ve tried lots of other things.
If he was a typically developing 30 year old he’d just make the decision for himself if he had anxiety. I know it’s hard when you are having to make the tough decisions. I’d explore the options. It will probably help both of you if he’s calmer and can access some activities.

Thank you so much. I will call My gp tomorrow and ask what would be best as I need help to calm him thank you for caring

I’m sorry things are so difficult.

What support is DS receiving? Is he under the learning disability service?

Do the care workers have to take DS out if he is dysregulated? When DS is too dysregulated to go out, can’t they stay at home and care for DS there. Either allowing you to go out or just to take the pressure off you at home.

It sounds like you need updated social care assessments.

Is the obsession with the weather related to sensory difficulties? Has DS had an OT assessment?

I think it is worth trying medication.

Hi Chasing
We are receiving support from adult social care hoping for more hours for him with careworkers. It is sensory, I'm worried about his aggression I don't want it to get worse that he will injury himself or me very badly or the careworkers. I'm dreading the summer. He has obsessions with flashcards and time and dates to but it's the aggression with the weather also a little agressive when he loses something too.

As well as social care support, is DS receiving any support from health services?

If it is sensory related, has DS had a sensory OT assessment? What about a home OT assessment. Do you have black out blinds/shutters to keep the sun out of the house? Does DS cope with the noise of fans or aircon?

I understand how difficult dealing with the sensory aspect of weather can be. DS1 struggle with sun and warmer weather (and rain, wind, snow, lightning, basically anything that isn’t middle of the road steady weather).

Hi Chasing
I have had a home and health assessment but not a sensory assessment. I will try black out blinds. He has a fan as he loves the sound and also play rain and wind sounds on the nature sound machine. Thank you ever so much for your help.