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[ExistingonCoffee]

A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted and 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The fire is on and the bar is well stocked.

I think our LA's "panel" is currently one person. Or possibly one person and three others who are permanently off sick.

It's been an absolute rollercoaster of a week here. Monday contact from school explaining that they had had to use physical interventions to keep DD safe. Today she got to the bus stop independently. It's almost unbelievable that this is the same child on different days.

@RavenLaw I am glad the week at school has finished more positively than it started, but it sounds like an exhausting week.

@Lougle they were very set in their ways. Their decision making was somewhat, err, absurd, but predictable.

Thank you so much @ExistingonCoffee I am reading and digesting. I think I need to investigate what ds could do. As always the problem is doing the caring while trying to find the people/setting to do what he needs. I’m struggling a bit because he’s changing so much that I’m not anywhere where I thought I would be.

Sorry been mia but reading along been a roller coaster couple of weeks.

Belated happy birthday to DD @HedgehogsAgree and I hope you can both continue to enjoy walking in the cooler weather still. Just wow at managing the zoom assessment.

Congrats for the safe arrival of DGD @BlueandWhitePorcelain hopefully your DD can get MH support that helps her and the care burden isn’t put heavily on your shoulders.

Sorry to hear that DD1 is in such a difficult place at the moment @Lougle .

@dspouse hopefully mediation will result in the changes you need in the EHCP and I did smile at the “panel” chat yep our LA has a black hole at that point.

Hopefully you’re feeling more recovered from the flue virus @Squirrelsandhedgehogs and DS doesn’t get it, but good the cleaner is helping now. I’ve been in bed the last 36hrs with a d&v bug and desperately hoping everyone else in the house can avoid it.

@ZairWazAnOldLady its hard juggling day to day life especially when others are not doing what is agreed and the burden yet again lands on us to enforce & sort out. Hopefully you can get somewhere with the college & DS support.

DD2 has been up down the last couple of weeks but the adhd meds have really helped. She’s not been well with a skin issue needing antibiotics and her anxiety over trying to take a mock exam next week is almost unbearable. I’m so so torn what to do, the tutor centre have been amazing she has lots of adjustments and a favourite lady is going to invidulate with only 4 of them in a room she’s very comfortable being in. However just trying to get her to talk it through caused her to melt down / rage & storm out the house this week in the pouring rain and disappear for 20mins. She’s Never done this before. Luckily DH phoned her from work & that was enough to ping her find a phone update so I could see where she was. I did bring her home sopping wet from the park swings & she felt very sorry for herself and had really good insight saying her anxiety & hormones made her feel she had to get out. Ironically she sat and then did the revision work after I’d said well leave it. I really feel for her as she’s so academically able but so consumed by anxiety fear of getting stuff wrong.
I also have a meeting with the LA next week the termly check in on the EOTAS package with a new person as the old one left. I’m very nervous they will force a AR to remove provisions as they are having a big PR shake up of send provisions. Several families have had things pulled. Our main provider did sign a contract in theory until July 27 for AP but I’m just so tired of living in fear that they stop paying again.

ohh just spotted I forgot @ExistingonCoffee i hope the brighter spring weather helps with energy levels and GP tests have helped rule things in / out. Are your DS doing more exams this year? Hopefully their mocks go well too.

@RainingDucks - we found with DD2 Concerta ramped up exam anxiety so much, she collapsed before getting into the exam room. Apparently, it’s well known, the drug can increase anxiety in some people. She was prescribed a beta blocker, to enable her to take the exams.

My DS was on quite a high dose of long acting methylphenidate for his size, aged 9, and the paediatrician reduced it pronto when he heard about his overwhelming anxiety.

Which reminds me, had to ring the paeds secretaries yesterday to tell them DS had three tonic clonics this week. Those are the first this half term but that's really unusual to have them clustered like that.

@RainingDucks I hope you are feeling better soon, and it doesn’t spread. Would individual invigilation help DD’s anxiety?

Thanks, I have a GP appointment on Tuesday to discuss my blood results.

DSs are sitting exams this summer. By the end of the summer term, I will be hiding in the basement of the Pub at the bottom of a barrel. DS1&3’s mocks went OK. DS2’s were more of a mixed bag. He didn’t sit a paper for English Language. He is so reluctant to do anything related to English. DS1&3 don’t do any revision outside of their tutor sessions. DS3 is waiting for BTEC results next week too. He sat the external exam part of a BTEC Sport he is doing in January.

Hhmmm thanks I actually hadn’t made the connection between adhd meds and more spikey anxiety as generally we’ve seen such a positive response to the meds in her behaviour. I may start a diary to just track a bit more. Also just realised as the LA person has left I actually don’t have a teams apt with the new person so now I’ve no idea if the term review meeting is happening. I certainly do not want to chase as we are pottering along ok and I’ve learnt with them it’s best not to prod

Yep English is DD2 absolute blocker as well @ExistingonCoffee after 6 months of 1:1 sessions with a very nice tutor I don’t actually think she’s written anything related to the anthology as she’s a master at procrastination when she doesn’t want to do anything! Yet interestingly I’ve seen a timed assessment this week she did for media and it took her 15mins to write a sentence & read the question but then in the next 10mins she wrote 2 paragraphs full of good stuff. I’m hoping we have enough to secure the extra 25% time she needs as the Form9 went in months ago but T&E are right pain to deal with. Hope the exam prep continues to plod along it’s really feeling quite a lot now and I’m seriously thinking of not doing another science next year and doing a photography coursework based one instead as she finds that much easier as long as I plan out every week…

@RainingDucks some with anxiety find non-stimulants work better.

English is the tricky subject for all my DSs. DS1 isn’t going to sit GCSE/IGCSE English. He couldn’t manage it. Functional Skills doesn’t work for him either. DS3 will get through Lang and Lit by having a very structured method to tackling each question. DS2 just hates the subject and the teacher.

We’ve hoping to start on the coursework igcse edexcel English in Sept as she can do that where she has most of her AP with scaffolding and then the exam hopefully will be one paper on her stronger skillset the non-fiction where I’m sure I can teach her a formula approach. She’s actually a brill clear communicator for instruction style stuff especially on her you tube channel as it’s her special interest topic she’s better than some folk I work with and writes her own scripts but then tells me that’s not English mum!

I had another mad thought but it really is mad though tempting to investigate.
There's a mainstream non selective school near us that I looked at briefly ages ago. I thought they would be too high achieving for DS but though their "standard" is 8 GCSEs, some DCs do foundation stage maths/English. And it would be cheaper for the LEA than independent specialist even though he'd have a 1:1 in both places.
But I think it would be too much of a leap for DS. I think their sixth form is A levels only too. But there are some good animal care college courses as long as he gets the FS or preferably GCSEs.

@RainingDucks good luck with the English Language. The Cambridge IGCSE works well for many.

@drspouse I would clarify what the school means by ‘foundation stage’. English GCSE/IGCSE doesn’t have a foundation paper. It isn’t tiered like maths, science and MFL. From your posts, most independent MS would not offer a place, I’m afraid.

Oh I know, it was just a mad idea!

Yes @ExistingonCoffee i was going to steer DD2 towards Cambridge Igcse English as I can see that its approach is more ND friendly but it doesn’t have a coursework option so we are going to try the edexcel one first as the least amount of timed exams the better DD copes. We’ve actually had a laugh studying some of the anthology as you tube has good walkthroughs and to our ND minds some of the analysis they come up with is ludicrous and so not obvious at all!

Hmm thought I’d feeling a lot stronger today but realised I’m really quite fatigued this bug still, DD1 is at a big sporting event today so DH has had to take her which he never does as he finds it all overwhelming. He prefers to look after DD2 instead. I’m keeping fingers crossed she does ok as she was tired, not fully healthy and nervous about this one.,

Thanks @RainingDucks Glad the worst is over for you, sorry you have been so ill and hope it goes completely soon.

DH has largely recovered here, started COVID 3 days before me and managed to get DD and her stuff back yesterday from university. First day he felt not too bad luckily. I still feel rough and on anti virals until Monday and painkillers. The stomach part of it has at least stopped, that was 4 days, glad it ended before DD back. DS had a night bath and managed to not get floor muddy.

Wish I was well enough to garden today as nice day but still hot cold shivery weak and in pain. Hopefully next weekend. DH will make a nice Sunday roast and that may be first real meal I have been able to eat since last Sunday.

DD off to first rowing camp on Monday, leaving here about 4am for a week. Crazy how I got one child who lives life at 100mph 24/7 and one who makes a sloth look hyperactive.

Crazy how I got one child who lives life at 100mph 24/7 and one who makes a sloth look hyperactive.

Same here! DD1 talks at 100 mph and her brain is running too fast for herself, on a good day, while DD2 makes a sloth look hyperactive!

Apart from being hyperactive, DH always says he knows exactly how DD2 thinks (cos she has ADHD and OCD like him), and then he complains about all his own attributes in her! For instance, her fidgeting annoys him….

@RainingDucks the Cambridge English Language IGCSE does have a coursework element. See here for the numbered grades and here for the letter grades. It is component 3. All candidates take exam paper 1 and either exam paper 2 or component 3. Although not all centres offer the choice.

Get well soon @Squirrelsandhedgehogs and @RainingDucks

@RainingDucks very similar build up to exams here. DD only flipped the laptop open at the last minute and joined the exam zoom after I had been saying for 2 hours straight that she really doesn’t have to do it, the final 10 mins of me actually believing that she couldn’t do it must have set off an invisible alarm that my words were genuine and that I wasn’t secretly wanting her to do it. Similar difficulties with English that are the same for Spanish, complaints of Spanish module forcing her to do creative writing. I think GCSEs have a heavy whiff of school about them and trauma bubbles under the surface. Your DD really is amazing! She has come so far it’s truly remarkable.

@ExistingonCoffee straws on hand for the summer. We will come and sit with you in the basement.

Think we are going to have to shift the planned June exam to Nov now as anxiety is just all consuming DD2. Does anyone have any good tips or links to “how to revise” techniques or “deal with exams” that would suit a ND brain? I’ve realised she needs lots more scaffolding around revision techniques and breaking into lots more steps than I’d anticipated to go from learning the content to completing an exam. We have been practicing questions, doing mini quizzes and refreshing knowledge but she just comes to a stop unless I sit next to her and prompt every single step - which I do not have capacity to do whilst working. I’m so mentally tired I just sat through a cycle of traffic lights red -green-red before I realised lucky no one was behind me.

@RainingDucks does DD like a spreadsheet? After every sub topic is studied add a new heading and some notes as you go along. It is a good visual for progress. When revising have a colour system (shade yellow I’ve looked at the notes on the sub topic once, orange twice, red three times) this helps show gaps in revision. It does become very time consuming during the learning period but is very helpful during revision. I once put on a full face of make up and all of my clothes to go to work and then turned the shower on and got in it. The mental fatigue is so real when also working. Are you saying no more revision needed now as June is off and November is the new date?

@RainingDucks tiny notebooks are also popular here but only written in during the learning process. DD doesn’t revise as has a once it’s in it’s in brain. Does your DD need to revise? Do her scores increase a lot by revision or are they roughly the same without it? Would she pass an exam without revision?

Sorry you're all having tough times. Anxiety is so all consuming. I don't have any good revision tips.

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs I hope you feel better soon.

DD2 has had her part B ADHD assessment and has been diagnosed with combined type. She's relieved.

Oh that's good news for DD2. Will she try medication?

Got the "consultancy" version of the EHCP and had a call with the solicitor we used before who is still on the ball. Asked the LEA where the notice was that this is the final version. They said it isn't the final version. I am about to email back and say "ok then why can't we make any more edits".