really shit parents evening

[saintmom]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/999187-shit-time-at-parents-evening-advice-please?msgid=20436633

posted in chat as wanted some fast advice,

would like some other advice from others in same position who have SN children

here sorry

just copied and pasted what ive put for ease

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had ds1 parents evening last night ds 1 is autistic and goes to a SN school he is 9.

It was just really shit the whole thing his teacher was so busy singing the praises of another pupil saying how clever they are that they are above there age academicly, then i look at ds1 and he was way below

ds1 is a very anxious complexed child but he is so funny and bright and allthough autistic is very socially funny tells jokes and stuff.

Nothing positive was said to us about him

i felt like bursting out crying in there

the people the teacher was talking to are very good friends of ours there child in lots of ways is classic autism and it hurt so much hearing the teacher saying so many positive things and then nothing about ds1.

when we got home i really cried and looked at last years grades for him and he is actually lower this year than last year in some subjects

on the way in a teacher there made some comment to me about how i should talk to one parent for advice about statementing as we are going through it now for ds2 (3) the ironic thing was its me ehos helped them with their statement for there ds2. it was me who put together all of their letters to senas written it for word for word as they had no clue what to put.

i often phone the school to speack to ds1 teacher as i said he is a complexed child with many anxietys (the school doctor has now refered him for councilling for his anxietys) so im sitting here still feeling really upset and woundering

1. what must the school think of me that im allways phoning is that why the teacher didint talk to us as oh no not MRS saintmom again,
2. they must really think i dont have a clue as they are telling me to talk to another parent for advice (even though its me advising them)
3. what the hell do i do now i need answers to his report, do i ask for another meeting?

god i feel so awfull,sorry for any bad sp just woke up! thanks

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when we got home ds1 was so excited wanted to know what happy things teacher said about him had to make it up as she said feck all

over herd her telling one set of parents to stay and chat as long as they like not us

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sorry should add i do reading at home with him as well but at school they have special ways on how to teach them and ds1 has the attention span of a goldfish.

i love him so much and can see all his positives but the teacher didnt mention any, its as if all his anxietys are being passed of as a naughty child

I think the problem is the teacher, not your DS or you. She is clearly one who has favourites and this seems to extend to the parents too. I would ask for an appointment with the head and explain all of this.

You have a child with SN and a lot of anxiety. It is entirely appropriate for you to be communicating with the school a lot. Explain to the head that you understand that this may be seen negatively but would welcome suggestions of other methods of communication.

Make sure you get some answers as to why he seems to be going backwards. That is totally unacceptable, whether it is really happening or just negativity from he teacher.

The teacher has no right to make you feel like this and she sounds like she is very unprofessional.

just spoke to the tacher feel even more shit now

ds1 has had this teacher for 2 years, at first she was brill when we went in she would really big him up say what wounderfall child he is, how funny, the class is so silent when he is at home pooly, and now she wont even give one positive about him.

when ds was in reception he broke his leg there it was the schools fault they put their hands up to it, teacher left playgorund with no supervision and then ds got hurt by another pupil he was off school for ages with it when he evently went back 16 weeks later he was so scared of school hated it this is when his anxietys started. the teacher he had then i had a load of run in with she was in my opinion to strict for a SN school.

so when 2 years ago we had this tacher ds loved her and enjoyed school again i was so happy

since then ds1 has so many other anxietys lifts,the dark,shops food the list could go on and on.

recently he has a problem with another pupil in his class who also sits next to him on the mini bus this other child bitten my ds1 on the arm on the mini bus fri afternoon. when i phoned the school about it it was sorted then ds1 told me on tuesday this child did it again during school.
last night we were told that the whole class is moving up usually they mix the years year 1 and 2 together and year 3 and 4 toghther so i thought well at least in september ds1 will be away from this child during school time so will hopefully be less anxious about one thing, but then we are told this that the whole class is going up, so i was worried about ds1 anxiety with it and spoke very briefly to the class assistant about it who told the teacher to come and listen we talked for all of 3 mins about it.

when i just spoke to her she said staright away that she spent most time talking to us last night complete untrue we had to listen to her praising other children and not ours

im in 2 minds now do i write it all down in aletter to her or just leave it as they obviously think im one of them kind of mothers who just moans and moans

I think I would go and have a chat with the head. You may not be the only parent who feels like this. Be open about knowing that you sound like you just like a whinge because that often disarms them. Try to make sure you are very factual and be clear that you need reassurance for the future and an explanation for him falling behind so the head knows you have clear goals.

She shouldn't be allowed to get away with this.