Keep me from misbehaving at the CAF today

[KatyMac]

No discussions about misdiagnosis/professionals meeting

I will be good

I will not crow about her report but I will say how much it concerns me

I must behave

I was saying that I hadn't really booked DD any holiday clubs for the summer - but I was looking for a few

They said it will be nice for you to spend some time together

I asked WHEN???

I guess - it will all be sorted out at the professionals meeting

They don't think she should go to holiday clubs - she should spend time with me; but as I work F/T that could be tricky

I think I agree about CBT - I am wondering about doing NLP by myself

Did you refer yourself for CBT? It seems a bit of an odd choice - I see it as 'correcting wonky thinking', which is useful for things like depression and phobias. But it's less helpful if there are genuine external factors going on - your reactions aren't to do with the way you think, it's because of the situation!

It's what they had funding for - so that or nothing

Maybe I do have wonky thinking

It's for 'my irrational refusal to accept a psychological diagnosis'

I googled & the Well Woman clinic round here do Contraception & STDs

I'll keep my eyes out

Mind you I do feel better after whinging for 1 hr 45 mins (it was a 20 minute appointment)

Can't find the other sort

Never mind looking forward to seeing the psychologist this afternoon - but expecting to come away disappointed

Right OK

DH was ill & the GP said he wasn't; I made a fuss & saw the consultant, who said it was just one of those things & it couldn't be fixed; I made a fuss & saw a private guy who said Well I don't know - I'll refer you to Papworth; Papworth found something & is in the process of curing it.

So because I was right about DH I can't be right about DD according to the psychologist

& if she lets DD have tests (that she doesn't need) how will I react if the results aren't what I want - I said I didn't know

What tests do I want? I said I didn't know but I was sure there was something wrong as well

So I have decisions to make - maybe with DD - we will go & chat somewhere (maybe the bottom of the garden) & discuss it all & see where she wants me to go & what she wants me to do

I am scared if we don't have the tests something could be missed but I am also scared I am acting irrationally

Much was made of the summer holidays - previously DD has had loads of stuff to do in the holiday because I work F/T, this year there is less on "so it will be nice for us spend time to together" well it won't cos I work FT yes but you will be there & DD can decide what to do, well she can but we won't be able to do it

Well DD likes the idea of no more Dr's but she says if she had her way she wouldn't see any anymore

But she still has to see the asthma guy & the ophthalmologist either way even if I give up the idea of further tests

So more conflict

Oh God
Head against wall

How am I going to feel if I force them to give her tthese tests & she is fine & I made her have tests she didn't need

Am I going to be convinced she is fine or am I going to go on a major quest to find something else

Or will I just smile & nod & say OK I am convinced

But significant amounts of pressure is being brought to bear on me to 'not' continue with the tests because if they are negative I will run off & try & find additional tests to 'fix' it all - which I can't promise I won't

They are accusing me of being 'neglectful' almost by wanting these unnecessary tests

What if I'm wrong they say DD will have all these stressful & unnecessary tests

& I say what if I'm right

So they have sent for CBT for 'fix' my wrong thoughts - why am I being treated for my daughters problem

Gosh the last 2 days were stressful

I'm a bit calmer now

Writing things down does help - thanks (sorry I was so needy)

I think the point at which MRI/CT scans would have made a diagnosis has passed

DD is visibly getting better & if it were something like Optic neuritis there would be no signs visible any more

I don't think her sight is much better but emotionally she is much more robust