Feeling miserable! When will DS be able to talk properly...

[genieinabottle]

I'm not really asking the question as such as no one can answer it.

But i'm so fed up lately.
I know some children are more affected than my DS(asd, S&L d, 4.7y). Some children do not yet speak any word so i should be grateful that DS does. And i am, i try to remember that.

But despite nearly 3 terms p/t at the language unit, he still has significant delays with his language and his speech sounds are still bad too.
I'm still having trouble understanding his language issues tbh.
Ds now knowns a lot words, his vocabulary isn't what i'd call poor anymore. He is able to say some good 6-7 words phrases when he wants to comment on something or request something.

But having a two-way conversation with him is still so so difficult. It's like what we say to him gets lost, and he doesn't seem to grasp the meaning of a whole sentence, and he isn't able to use the vocabulary he knows to make an answer.
He also uses odd phrases, at times it's like he speaks in riddles, and we have to work out what it means.
The other night he kept saying "i want to wear like a circle!" ... after a couple of minutes i understood he meant he wanted to be wrapped up around in his blanket.
He is always inserting numbers , colours and shapes when he talks.
Like me asking him if he played football at nursery and he answers "i like 8 and 1"

I mean he can give good appropriate short answers at times, but some other times it makes no sense.
This afternoon, DH was washing the car and DS was watching him. A little neighbour (same age as DS) came over and started chatting to DS. DS was talking utter gibberish, laughting away and talking nothing but baby jargon with the odd word mixed in. Little neighbour was giggling along with DS, quite sweet in a way as little neighbour didn't seem to notice that DS was not on the same wawelenght.
But how long will it take before DS gets picked on at school in september...

do yo think its still the language issues or is the asd coming into play now to.

Know plan is if ds does not show big improvement after a term is to move him onto ACC devices

got to go off to work so can't answer in much depth - but honestly your DS sounds simlar to mine (well apart from fact my DS (possibly wrongly!) didn't get the ASD DX). My DS was very similar at 4 - IME once they get to the stage of being able to speak in sentences, they will improve further with understanding/conversation etc. I found that speaking in sentences just expressively - i.e. to request/comment but without having previously had to deal with understanding someone's question was a stage on the way for DS developping better conversational skills. so keep plugging away, it should come with time.

PS - DS didn't get picked on at school. DS has to my knowledge only once got picked on (by a slightly older kid at the bus stop). at reception age I've found kids pretty tolerant/self-absorbed.

I can't comment on the speech development, but I can say that other children will not necessarily be as judgemental as you expect. DS is just coming to the end of being in mainstream reception with a 1 to 1 and I can honestly say that we have not had one incident of meaness or bullying. In fact one or two kids have taken a real shine to DS in spite of the fact he screeches, quotes lines from TV programmes and can't hold a proper conversation. He even has a little "girlfriend" who will make sure she dances with him at parties and follows him about tickling him, cuddling him and sometimes he will even hold hands with her.

On occasion another child will as why DS screeches and I just say that he is not that good at words yet so instead of saying "get off" or "go away" he sometimes screeches and they seem to accept it as a pretty reasonable explanation.

I hope your DS will have a similarly positive reception year, try not to worry

My DS (4.3, dx of ASD) sounds a lot like yours. I too wonder when we'll be able to have a conversation. Sigh.
When I want to cheer myself up, however, I go back to the time months ago when he couldn't say 'yes', or he wouldn't answer any questions whatsoever, or he would only ever talk of himself in the third person (which he still does, but not exclusively). If he's been making progress, chances are he'll continue to make progress.

Thanks everyone for replies.

sc13, i need to kick myself, (i ought to do that more often) thinking back to a couple of years ago the anxious wait for DS to say 'mummy',...then for him to link 2 words together he did that at age 3, so in 18 months i guess he has come on a lot.
I get down when i see another child who just speak easily and freely (like the little neighbour yesterday) and it hits me that DS still has a longggg way to go.

roundthebend4, i think it is a mixture of the two, both the asd and the speech and lang. disorder are playing a part in DS's talking issues.
DS is still quite repetitive with his comments and questions. And it's clear his comprehension is still quite behind, he seems to understand very well familiar instructions, but trying to explain to him a bit abstract or unfamiliar and we're back to blank face and echolalia.

We are going away abroad in 3 weeks to visit family. DS has understood that we are going to see Nanny, Papy and his cousins. But he doesn't get when we are going and each time we get in the car he says 'we are going to see Nanny and Papy on a car boat'... we use a calendar for him and cross each day off, i have marked the day we leave and counted the days left with him to make it more concrete but it's not sinking in.

He is going to be refered to a special SALT base in Wilts, because on top of his exp/recep problems, his speech sounds are still bad and they want to see if there could be a physical cause for this. You have to really strain your ear and try to tune in to understand him.

totalchaos, thanks for the reassurance that in time it will come. I'm too impatient. And it is a long slog, nothing happens unless he has some input to help him, and there are times when i'm fed up and wish he could talk like all the other kids.

Genie, DS1 is very verbal (has been in the normal range, since your DS's age, so for a couple of years, now) and is now quite articulate when he knows the format and has the script in his head, but does still struggle to make himself understood at times. He year 1 class had a task of writing a story based on a short play of the 3 Billy Goats Gruff, and DS1 just could not do it, even with a lot of help. He'll often ask a question about something without telling you what he's asking about - he knows, it's in his head, so he gets quite cross that we don't know, too. I don't think that's uncommon for kids with ASD, no matter how good their mechanical speech. Frustrating, I know.

Kids are kinder than you think, though. The only kids who do tease DS1 are the sort of kids who tease anyone for anything just for the reaction. DS2 is 4.2, non-verbal and about to start reception and has no problems at all. A lot of the girls like to fuss around him, but that suits him, because he likes playing with their pigtails and curls!

He sounds similar to dd2 (ASD), last year she was non-verbal, now she has a huge vocab but struggles to use it. She often gets words muddled up and i struggle to get convosation out of her. I'm not sure if this will improve and i put it down to her ASD rather than her language delay. I can get a small covo out of her if its something she likes t talk about (food/toys) but its mainly me asking simple questions and her giving 1 or 2 word answers.