Dd2 just had a huge melt down, how can i stop it happening again on thursday?

[Marne]

Just picked dd2 up from nursery, the nursery is having building work done so dd2 had to come out of a different exit/door and then meet me at the side gate. We were warned of the change and i tried preparing her (by telling her the door was broken etc..) but her understanding is so poor that she doesn't understand. I was asked to go in and collect her as they could not get her out of the door, as a walked p the path i could hear her screaming and crying, i grab her bags and try to pick her up (as there is no way she's going to walk out the wrong door), as i walk out the door she goes mad, thrashing around then going stiff, i drop the bags and dd2. I eventually get her to the car with the whole car park looking at us. It took her 10 minutes (and a bar of chocolate) to calm down.

On Thursday i have to take her in the wrong entrance and collect her, how can i make it easier for dd2?

Do you think if i make her a map (Dora the explorer style), showing her the pathway out of nursery that she has to use and a timetable will help? or will i just have to bundle her in to a buggy kicking and screaming?

You could try that. Does she recognise Makaton signs? Could you ask them to put a 'No' sign on the old door, and a sign on the new door?

Take some photos maybe of new and normal, put a big cross over the photo of the normal door?

The nursery use PEC'S and Makaton, they are a SN nursery so i was a little that they didn't put a sign on the door or prepare her for the change. She's mad on Dora at the moment so a map might work.

I felt so sorry for her, dragging her through the playground with all the staff saying 'sorry' to her and all the other parents staring , i felt like crying with her . There was one other child who was in a similar state but luckily her was small enough to be carried out (dd2's on the large side).

Oh, poor you and poor dd . I agree, the nursery could have done more to pre-empt the whole situation.

I think the map is a good idea, as is bigcar's idea.

Would your dd be able to understand a very simple social story -maybe in picture form?

I have never tried a social story with her but yes she may be able to understand it in picture form, i will give it a go. I will also talk to the nursery about preparing her for home time.

Good luck, Marne -I know how hard these things can be for our dc.

I remember when we changed the piece of flooring in the porch -dd had an hour-long meltdown, even though we had prepared her (or thought we had). If it was up to her, we would be living in a time-warp and would never ever redecorate or replace anything!

Why not just keep her home?

Indigo, keeping her home would solve the problem but i would rather teach her how to cope with changes rather than avoiding them, also, she gets speech therapy at nursery so i don't want her to miss out on the last few sessions before the end of term.

Could you pop by the nursery a couple of times to look at the doors but not go in through them today and tomorrow? Just to maintain or support her awareness of the normal door being 'broken' and that the other door exists.

Also could you take a photo of the new door and ask her to find it as you arrive on Thurs?