Aspergers, what is it ?

[Lynli]

Talking to a lady at the school recently her child has Aspergers. She said she thinks my DS does too. I looked it up online and did a test he scored 39. Which is a positive score. Is this something I should worry about or can I ignore it?

DS is 9 he has an amazingly high IQ. Excells in every subject. Mathematical calculations at extrordinary speeds. Loves computers designs on-line games, builds websites. Very tidy and well behaved I have never had to discipline him. Loves rules and never breaks them.

He likes to do everything in the same order every day, but can become tearful if his routines are broken. He is very loving and cuddly.

Only problem he has is he writes very slowly.
Doesn't like story books only non-fiction. Has learnt to do creative writing but had problems when younger as had no imagination.

When he was younger he would not mix with other children but would talk to adults. He made a conscious effort to make friend about a year ago he joined the football team even though he hates football. He now has a few good friends.

Two questions do you think he has Aspergers and should I care either way? He is the easiest child to care for and I would not
want to change him.

He sounds absolutely wonderful!

From your description he may have Aspergers - but you are right, even if he does - should you care?

If he has having trouble at school, then a diagnosis can help you and the school to understand him and put things in place to help him.

However, if he is having no significant difficulties at school and at home then

a) He probably hasn't actually got aspergers - because most of our kids do have problems at school

b) A diagnosis won't help you at all. It's not like there's a magic pill to cure it.

So, if he and you are having no problems, then I think continue to love him as he is and don't worry about it.

He sounds adorable...

Indigobell, have to take you up on point a) tho.. it's big misconception that children with ASD have to have problems (assuming you mean social/behaviour in the class setting..if you mean something else I humbly apologise!) I work with children with severe ASD, and my own son has ASD too..and he like several of my class are gentle passive and don't have problems in any behaviour sense..they just like things to be right, and to be left in peace!

Lynli, your son does sound Aspergery, but it also sounds as though he is doing very very well and no need to push for help. However it might be worth just tucking away your suspicions at the back of your mind incase the teenage years DO need some help for his particular way of being
He sounds amazing...get him designing something better than Windows (and cheaper than Macs) and he'll be sorted for life

Thankyou so much for your lovely replies. Should I dare to ask what kind of problems I might expect in the teenage years? I have two older DDs and they were hideous teenagers so was hoping for an easy ride.

Macforme - sorry to be ignorant. My asd son had behaviour problems in his last school. At this school at is much better. But he still has so much anxiety that everything is very hard for him. But yes I forgot what other posters have said about their children being passive in class. Although that too seems to often be a problem.

But I think we both agree that if he has no problems at the moment pushing for a dx won't gain you much.

From a purely basic aspect ASpergers is diagnosed thus:

If you have traits from the triad of impairments (look it up, very useful) and low IQ (under 60) and delayed language development you ahve kanners autism (Classic autism)

If you have the triad and language delay (can be resolved language delay- the test looks at development at age 3) but an IQ over 60 you have higher functioning autiosm (HFA)

If you ahve triad, IQ over 60 and no language delay (but quite possibly significant lanaguge impairment esp. ijn areas of social communication) then it is ASperger's.

What AS isn't is mild autism, which people somtimes think: that's not how the spectrum works- it only demonstartes the disorders but doesn't palce a severity value on an individual: for example DS1 has AS but also being seen for eating disorers whicha re related, ahsd severe aggression issues: becuase of the eating and needs in many ways he is more severely affected (esp. as eating disorders can be fatal after all) than ds3 who has HFA and needs an SNU palcement.

Does that make sense?

Now, to your child: the asnwer is maybe I think. There's a whole worrld of traits of asd (asd / asc is a term that covers the three types) and he coudl also fall into that, as a great many people do. It's impossible to tell without meeting him.

As to whether he could benefit from a dx that's up to you. It can be hard to get one and stressful. Personally, I am an adult with a clear and recognised missed diagnosis of AS but I see no point in a formal DX at this stage. It wouldn't be true to say that it doesn't cause me any issues at all, but I think the process of getting a DX would cause me far more, IYSWIM?

As for adolescence- can go either way. Some kids turn into the eprfect 1950's teen with a penchant for scouts adn organised activities and doing their homework on time (I was a bitnlike that, minus the homework- I amde up for it later mind as I am sure Mum woudl say!). OTOH some kids reallys truggle with the hormoines and changes caused by adolescence, and the ehole social acceptance / romance / peer group thing can be a very severe issue indeed for kids on the spectrum.

I think macforme and Indigo you are both kind of right though. As the mother of one of those 'passive' ones (a 7 year old Aspie ) I can say DS does not cause problems at school but school can be a problem for him.

He can actually thrive in the routine and order of school (not like the real world is it?) but it doesn't take much to make him decide he never wants to go back there and the anxiety and worry attached to having to work a million times harder than other kids (maybe not quite a million but ykwim!) can be very draining for him - and me.

I think the thing about 'labels' is that they are only of use if they act as 'signposts' for other help or assistance or knowledge. It is this need for help which drives you to get the dx in the first place. This means that most children who end up with dx of Aspergers have some significant functional impairments in their daily life for which they need help.

I understand that professionals are in fact loathe to label without this.

I think as long as:

• his routines aren't stopping him or the family function
• he is happy at school
• he is performing well academically (i.e. consistent with the high IQ)
• has friends
• is learning and demonstrating social skills appropriate for his age

then leave well alone for the moment and just keep an eye on these things as time progresses

Agree wit5h Debs; ds3 was very passive (gradually changing to anxiety sadly) in MS and he wasn't a problem. He however suffered quite amrkedly even if not visible: lost the toiloet training he had (regained within weeks of SNU), became distressed in the mornings..... passive ASD kids foten suffer enotrmously in their own way.

But not all asd kids do suffer, and not all suffering is visible. I didn't visibly suffer, I wasn't aware of anything, but was bullied very abdly for ebing odd and ended up with eating disoreders well into my twenties.

I personally think the best thing to observe is self esteem: when that drops there is an issue and it's usually visible to a loving aprent before any linked behavioural problems start.

My DD1 behaved very much like your little boy at the same age. She was a dream to look after and got the most amazing school reports. Apart from sleeping issues she was a dream child.

However things did all fall to pieces when she started high school last September. She simply could not cope with the large, unpredictable, busy, noisy environment. This was what lead to her Asperger's diagnosis.

When we started to ask questions about her earlier school years we discovered that she had been very stressed at first and middle school but had kept it under wraps. The psychologist told me that it often doesn't occur to these children to tell anybody about their fears and difficulties.

I'm not saying that your son is doing the same but I would keep an eye out for signs that he doesn't like noise, crowds, shouting, etc. Try asking him how he feels in the playground and the dining hall at school now. If he is finding these environments at all difficult now it may be worth making sure that he is well supported when he moves to high/secondary school. That seems to be the time when a lots of Asperger's type problems come to the fore.

Apart from this one aspect I agree with the earlier comments about if he is happy and coping let him be.

Good advice Sancti! I think you are so right about suffering being invisible. I am so grateful that our dx report spelt out that it is not possible for people to see how DS feels most of the time.

I've had a year of teachers saying 'he looks ok to me' and then you get the ADOS confirming he has a very limited range of expressions and does not demonstrate emotion.

I never thought I would say it but thank God for the ADOS test!

Thanks everyone that has been very helpful. . With regard to eating disorders he ate anything as a toddler but now wants only fish. After reading about the mercury in fish I talked to him about not having it too often. I was surprised by what he said. He said that if he ate chicken which he wont at present, can he have it everyday so he always has the same meals, which I thought was strange.

He did say that he likes exams and I asked is that because you like to show what you can do and he said no it is because the other children stop making that awful noise. I thought it was because most of the time he is with me and I am a very calm person, I just don't seem to have any temper at all and never feel aggressive. If I feel it appropriate to feel angry I have to fake it.
Also his siblings are in their 20s so he has never had the usual rivalry and has been spoiled by them.

I think I will leave things as they are I have avoided pushing him academically because I wanted him to fit in with other children and he has worked out how to engage with them. I don't think a lable making him different would be of any help to him at the moment.

I really can't thank you all enough it has really put my mind at rest and increased my undersanding.

Hi, dd1 has AS, she's only 6.5 but like your ds has a high IQ. We also have problems with food, dd1 will not eat meat, and sauces or Veg, she survives on Pizza at the moment. Dd1 doesn't really have any behaviour problems at school apart from not knowing when to keep her mouth shut, she talks like an adult and when excited she talks very fast. Dd1 doesn't get any help at school but it has been helpful having a dx as the school are now more understanding and i can explain to dd1 why she is like she is.

tribulalgoer. Thanks that's a great idea, will try it.