School meeting on Wednesday

[debs40]

I asked head and SENCO (who is covering at another school next term) for a meeting before the end of term to discuss our application for a SA.

It has taken several weeks to organise as Head wanted everyone there - DS's 2 teachers from this year, 2 TAs, the teacher for next year and the TA, herself and SENCO.

I started thinking....mmmm, this sounds like a 3 line whip rather than a discussion of whether we need a SA! Unfortunately, it has now been organised on a day when DH can't come so I'll be on my todd.

PP are very wet so I didn't feel there was much point in just adding another opponent to my list but I have a guy from our NAS group who has an older son with AS and has worked as a parental advisor has agreed to come with me. He is very calm, diplomatic and knowledgeable!

Anyway, the point of the post other than fishing for sympathy is that I imagine the school is going to try and impress with the list of things they think they are going to be doing for DS next year.

My point however is that they are still very far from actually understanding the help he needs (partly because all the services like SALT and EP have just supplied generic strategies) and that as our diagnostic report from the multi-disciplinary diagnostic panel recommends a SA, this is the route I will have to follow.

Thoughts, suggestions welcomed

I would really like to try and get them onside with the application but they are a defensive bunch who seem to find admitting to gaps in their knowledge (whetehr about ASD or SEN procedures) very hard.

debs40, I would go in polite but very firm.

Tell them what you are going to do. You are applying for a SA, as you feel the level of support your child needs is more than the school can currently provide. You can sweeten this with a disclaimer if you think it will help 'Despite the school's best efforts, the level and type of support my son is receiving is still inadequate and can, in my opinion, only be met by a statement of special educational needs'.

This is not a criticism of the school and you can point this out to them if you wish. You are simply saying that your son's needs cannot be met at SA+ or whatever, and that the time has come to assess his needs properly and put a long term plan in place through a statement.

I'd say - be very clear about the fact that this is going to happen at the outset and repeat it like a broken record. Once you have got that point across, you are wanting to get them on board, I guess, but remember - even if they are not on board, you can and probably should still request a SA. So, don't give them too much power.

Get the NAS guy to take notes. Bring water with you and if you feel your blood boiling or feel cornered at any point, say 'I will have to reflect on that after this meeting'. Do not feel pressurised into saying or agreeing to anything in the meeting.

I should have said 'bring water and take a sip to buy you thinking time...

You have my sympathy, Debs -I've been in your situation with regard to school meetings in the past.

Just to fill you in, dd1 is now in a wonderful school where the staff are incredibly knowledgable and supportive. I find that strategies are automatically put into place for her and nothing is too much trouble.

However she was Home Educated for 9 months before she started there as I had to remove her from a really useless school.
They also had huge gaps in their knowledge and were keen to make lots of empty promises about how much help dd would be given.

I had many, many meetings over the years. I think taking the guy from NAS is a great idea, especially given that he is a calm and measured kind of person. I think he will be keen to fill in the gaps in their knowledge!

I am certainly no expert (others have far more experience than me) but I used to take a list of points I wanted to address, with a brief explanation of what I wanted. I always gave the school a copy, so they couldn't deny knowledge at a later date.

Is there someone who can maybe take notes for you? I always find it amazing how many things are 'forgotten' once the meeting is over.

It's easy to feel intimidated when you are facing a panel of 'professionals', but you know your ds better than anyone and you are the expert on him. Trust your intuition.

Sorry, am not much help, but I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck.
Let us know how you get on x

Thanks guys. You are all a great deal of help to me!

I shall get my NAS guy to make notes too. He is very experienced and has read all the reports so I hope he will be a diplomatic voice of reason to stop any angry/frustrated dynamic developing between me and the school.

It is annoying that will all these people involved they have organised the meeting for 2.30 when we collect the kids at 3.15 so there is obviously a time limit to be put on it!

I have already emailed the head and said we are duty bound as parents to follow the recommendation in the report to apply for an SA and that we would explain this at the meeting. She didn't acknowledge my email and has been very 'off' face to face.

They are a newish school with a big opinion of themselves and I know they find me very undermining because what I am saying, however, nicely, can only be taken one way - they don't have suficient knowledge. There is no shame in that but they would rather pretend they have than admit they wouldn't know DS's needs if they fell over them.

We have had a year of people with generic strategies coming in - some useful obviously - but it is time now for everyone to get a very clear picture of this child's needs for his sake.

Surely assessment of needs/help should be child rather than school led!

Thanks tribunal - you're right. It won't really change anything in terms of provision I'm sure, I do think there is some leeway to be made on persuading them to support the SA application though.

What I don't understand is - if they are intending to brush you off why have they invited so many people? IME the head tries to brush me off without too many witnesses.

I really like the idea of emailing the agenda and make sure you run the meeting. Creating the agenda will also get it clear in your head what you actually want to achieve from this meeting.

If you are going to be applying for SA what do you want the school to do at this point?

Good luck

Inidgo, maybe I'm getting it all wrong. I don't think it is the brush off as much as a 'united front' to tell me what the school line is

I think the school will be trying to help and I think it is good to get everyone involved but I think they are trying to reclaim the 'agenda' when they still really haven't got much of a clue about ASD or what kind of thing,specifically, DS needs.

I think getting them to support an SA request may be more difficult as they will say they have it all under control. My view would be that we have been going around in circles for at least a year trying to establish the specific help DS needs and the only way to do this is with a SA.

I think if we can get the school to put their weight behind that it would help.

Oooh, tribunal....you are so wise....you remind me of someone I know

tribunal is spot on

ooo tribunalgoer you're good.

You don't mind do you Debs?

Nooo, not at all....

Have the school had any advice about ds since his dx Debs? Surely they will have to wait fro specialist input before putting anything in stone.
Have you seen the ASD inclusion development programme? You could ask whether they have training in it. Bet the NAS guy can offer them training as well.

The guy is a co-committee member from our local group. He doesn't work for the NAS as such. He is vastly experienced in dealing with schools etc and has acted as a parents advocate (idependently) for many years.

School had the dx report. However, they were quite happy to set up the meeting without this. They don't seem to troubled by these things!I think the problems is that they are a shining little LA light as a school and do what they are told. They are therefore very reluctant to follow anything unless told to do it by the EP - hence their reluctance to call her in this year. Once she comes in, they feel they have to follow what she says. Of course, she then says very little.

I will remember that I called the meeting because I wanted to ask about their support in my SA application.

As for the IDP, well Early Bird Plus team told them to do training on it, SALT told them to do training on it, EP has now told them to do training on it. Their response we're still doing training on the IDP on dyslexia.