AS and two homes - advice please

[Flamesparrow]

Can you lovely ladies have a look here

Having issues with DD1 and staying with DH

could your dd start just going there for a few hours and build it up to leaving just before bed and then go back before breakfast until she is settled with that?? with a view to obviously eventually her also sleeping there?? or could she take all her bedding with her so she feels more settled?? sorry probably not much help as my ds is only 4 and autistic so im just trying to think what i would try for him!

good luck

I have sent her off with all her bedding, and a promise that if she gets distressed she can come home. I'm hoping that it is enough, and that some repetition will help.

Hey flame !
( is bcns here from the old days with psycho!)

ds2 is asc/as.. And goes to his dad every other weekend and half of school hols..
He's been doing this since he was tiny ( now 11).
so on theory it should be okay by now.. But his dad is a bit of a plonker and refuses to accommodate ds2 needs at all. This means there is never any routine there nor a safe space and he is expected to communicate like an 11 year old!

So seeing as your ex should already be well aware of dd needs, half the battle might be done.

Coloured days on the calander of daddy days helps, routine and knowing what is going to happen at dads would really help. Also if she gets his bed.

Transition is really hard work and it is normal ( ime) to take a couple of days to get back into being at home... Then the dc's are back at dads then back at home.. It's hard work.

I think your just going to have to let dad take over on his time if she moans he deals with it.
Maybe both of you could get together to sort out a visual calander for DD to have in both homes.

Hope some of that helps.. Just want to say your not alone x

@ him being aware! I think part of him still thinks I am making it up and she is just a picky child.

It is good knowing I'm not alone in this

Aghhhhh I was really hoping he was going to be better at it than my ex.

Okay make the calander up from your end, tell him to make sure dd knows what is going to happen at his.. Let him deal with the meltdowns when she is there..
And brace yourself!

I repeat on a constant basis to ds2 .. Your home now so it's at home rules! On his return!

how did weekend go???

It went quite well actually.

DD1 slept in DH's bed, DS on the sofa and DD2 in her cot - DS was transferred to share the bed when they were both asleep.

She then went to my mum's straight after so was occupied, and today was inset so she had the space to hide with a DS and get her head straight.

DS however has been hell.