ASD and computers - how to cut down.

[colditz]

Ds1 has ASD and ADHD. Literally the only time he can be still is in front of a computer screen.

However.

he OBSESSES about it. He wakes up at 4.30 am sometimes to see if I left the kitchen door unlocked this time (I did this once), and if I haven't, he will crack into "sky games" and play THEIR little games.

I cannot lock everything in the kitchen. i cannot think of a way to 'break' this symbiotic relationship with computing technology and games machines. As soon as school ends he's "Can I play on the computer?" and if I say no, he's rude and be tempered, and furthermore simply will not drop the subject.

Please help. His understanding is fairly good (he is 7) but I just don't know how to handle this. I'm stumped.

Ds2 loves computers.. He wants to be .. And probably will be a programmer or games designer.

Computers are input output.. You tell them what to do, and they respond in a structured way... It's all rules based.
There is no guessing how a computer may respond.

Tbh ds2(11) could probably answer you much better than me about why computers are so fab to him and probably to your ds.

Now it's a bit pavlovs dogs... But I award extra computer time for behaviour I want to see.
He gets one hour screen time a day, this includes tv, laptop or games consoles. So he has to choose.
But if we have a thumbs up day from school because he has tried hard .. He earns an extra 15 mins.. Etc etc

Just and add
ds2 is also dyslexic and dyspraxic on top of the asd/ as
so there is the whole communication thing for him plus being able to make something work easily.

It's Tower Defense three.

All he wants to do is play Tower Defense Three.

he would starve if I didn't make him get off it - bodily, sometimes.

And I'm not even joking.

And then, when he's off it, he monologues, either about it or when he can go on it again.

He's told me, in all seriousness, that he wants to live with Daddy because daddy has better games on his computer (a full version of Tower Defense Three, in other words)

He needs something visual maybe? Maybe n hour glass or a timer that he can see counting down. So maybe 30 minutes of the computer, then one hour off it, another half an hour followed again by an hour break, or something to that effect.

he WAS better with the timer actually, but then he broke the timer because he found it Very Interesting Indeed.

I will invest in another one.

You can buy SN ones that have a foam covering and very indestructable.

DS2 has an hour glass one and it has been bounced off walls and everything.

I feel your pain. Ds1 (7) is exactly the same, he also wants to be a games designer (used to be a games tester, but has got slightly more realistic as he's got older ).

He is also allowed an hour of screen time a day, so DS/TV/Computer, but he lives for that hour and when he's not on the DS or computer, he is talking about them at 200 miles an hour without drawing breath and usually without caring if anyone is actually listening or interested.

We have to do the whole, "Ds1 you have 20 minutes left" then ten minutes, then five minutes, then two minutes etc or he has a major meltdown when we tell him to come off. Although he will still have a meltdown if he's at the point in a game where he can't save.

He has also dismantled three hour glasses. We now buy cheap alarm clocks from IKEA that can be replaced for a pound and he also times himself on the pokewalker that came with his Pokemon Heart Gold game.

The best thing we have found to distract him from actually being on the computer is buying him computer magazines. It doesn't stop the constant stream of consciousness monologues that we get about them though. He specifically loves the posh Nintendo DS magazine (the one that sometimes comes in its own little box - sorry can't remember the name of it). It is pricey at around £5.00, but well worht it as hea will sit quietly and read it from cover to cover and then back again. He then gets it out to read when he is feeling stressed and its not computer time. We only buy them very occasionally for him, but he is happy to re-read the old ones time and again, so he gets his money's worth out of them.

To be honest I would also love to know how to get a better balance with the whole computer thing, but I can't help thinking that, with the ASD, its just the way things are and he 'needs' to have something like that to help him escape from all the stress living in the real world brings him.

Oh Gosh computer magazines, what a FABULOUS idea.

i m not one to talk (has tomany pcs))
but other then the limiting and such you can get timers that kill power (bad for a pc) from wilkos to enforce it

otherwise im not sure, make the time he gets more educational make him learn about em programming or something, i dont know on that
sorry

It's not the TIME he spends on it - I can curb that effectively enough by picking him up and moving him if I have to - it's the obsession.

Mybe he'll just lo9se interest himself...

Colditz... In the really big scheme of things I don't think an obsession about computers is actually too bad.

It could be a lot a lot less socially acceptable.. As long as you can control the amount of time actually on it, or use it to your advantage.. Gaming and computers is what a huge amount of NT children and teens are into... So it seems on the surface it socially fit in better than say.. Hoovers or number plates etc.

Although ds2 obsession can turn my mind to mush with the 24/7 of it all.. To him it is his safe and happy head space. And in the real world he struggles so much that it's nice to see him tune out.
Hope that makes sense.

I'm reckoning your probably better off working on the balance of it tbh.. Maybe he'd like to have a bash at designing a similar type game.. Google is your friend on this.
If you can't sway the actual game bit, he should have his fill.... Eventually!

Unfortunately, colditz I think it is just in the nature of ASDs iyswim. If his obsession with computers does ever diminish, he will most likely replace it with another one.

When ds isn't allowed on his ds or computer he find things like his Catchabeast, space invaders or other handheld lcd/electronic game to play with. We have to be really strict and say 'nothing electronic' to him or he will do his utmost to find a way round it.

I don't know enough about it to know whether ASD obsessive behaviours are obsessions in the way of an addiction or rather all encompassing interests that they can focus on to the exclusion of everything else, thus providing them with a sort of security blanket against the outside world. My gut feeling with ds is that is the latter.

Cross posted twice there. Have to agree with TACC as well, ds's obsession actually helps him to fit in a bit better with his peer group, as they are all into their DSs and computers as well. Its the one bit of middle ground he has with them really.

A friend of mine's 9 year old is still totally obsessed by Thomas the Tank Engine and of course that has resulted in him being ridiculed and ostracised by his peer group - on balance I'd rather ds was into computers than Thomas the Tank. I've been there with ds2 when he was younger and think that definitely turned my mind to mush. Ds2 is nt though and fortunately has moved on to new pastures these days - unfortunately my 17 month old dd is now taking an active interest in all the Thomas paraphanalia we still have hanging around the place! Might have to nip that in the bud.

coldits if its an interest hes cultivated..... good luck.. he may find another interest... i havent had a major shift from computers in 20 odd years....with my asd but he might

that reminds me i need to check the.......

My DD is 4, undiagnosed ASD, loves computers already and films. Pixar in particular, when we try to limit the number of times she can watch she just re-enacts the films....with squeaky voices but difficult to understand. With the computers we have stuck to leapster 2 learning games, the tag reading system and the leapfrog my computer. They have another handheld for older kids. Although she zones out and then repeats/obsesses she seems to absorb the learning and the phonics really helps....but has resulted in an American accent!

We use the cooker timer, as its loud and she cant reach it! And the countdown warning....for everything from bathtime, playtime...food! She adores number so it distracts from the activity and engages her...momentarily!

We managed to cut her screen time down but are unsure if its a comfort thing...???