I'm tired today and I will be tomorrow

[TheArsenicCupCake]

And the day after and the wek, month , year after.

I can't really complain tbh ds2 has his health.
But I'm just so so tired and did just doesn't stop ( as all of you guys know!)

I'm so tired today that I gave ds2 two instructions at once.. Which didn't go down well and it Was my fault!

I think it's the mental tiredness of constantly being on the ball, splitting instructions, explaining just about everything .. Even about who I am talking to and who that includes.

It's the disturbed nights, egg shell walking, constant watching.. Meal making that suits ds2, keeping the house calm, rules routines.. The whole lot really.

I want to talk to my Eleven year old normally, I want him to go out and ride his bike and not have a social issue every single day.
I feel guilty about moaning too... Because I bet he would like life to be a lot easier more than me tbh.

Okay rant over, feel free to add your own!

I was hearing from a friend how fab it is that her sons are spending every evening and all of the weekends riding around the village on their bikes with their mates. Her boys are same year as DD1 and the year above. I couldn't say how much I would really love her to go out and do that. I doesn't seem like a big problem really and we have had much bigger issues to deal with which have worried me dreadfully. This one just makes me sad.

I'm understand exactly where you are coming from Arsenic

It's so draining to have to be on the ball constantly and always having to plan one step ahead. It feels like there is always something to be thinking about. Emotionally sapped is how I think of it.

DD1 has been bombarding me with questions about her latest obsession for hours and I am really struggling not to snap, so have sneaked on here.

Wish I had an answer for you, but sending {{hug}}

Hugs back to both of you.

I knew posting on here that you would understand I love this board.

It's all little things for us personally that add up and I really shouldn't moan about it.

Never ending. The meltdowns, the anxiety, the fear. It sucks

Don't apologise for needing to offload -it's what we all need to do at times, or we wouldn't be able to carry on. We are all here to support each other -let's face it, very few people in RL understand our lives.

I agree, all the little things add up and make
life unbearably stressful at times. Personally, I am currently in danger of losing the plot over dd's faffing about with her socks every bloody morning for ages and ages - have been sourcing seamless socks cos it's driving me mad!

I must admit to a smile when you wrote that you gave your ds 2 instructions at the same time and it didn't go down well - we definitely inhabit the same world! I told dd on 4 separate occasions this morning that her fresh PE kit need to be taken out of her swimming bag when she got to school (we need to limit how many bags she carries or she will forget one or two!)
Anyway, in she trots tonight with her PE kit in with her wet swimming things and swears I didn't mention it this morning. I've tried giving her notes as reminders, but she forgets about the notes too!

It's enough to have you reaching for the alcohol isn't it?

I've been considering putting reminders in the lunchbox but I would have to put 'Go and do it now!' on the bottom of the note so probably not that useful

I'm smiling at the notes , bags and kits

and it really is so nice to 'speak' to people who actually just know and will smile back!

I did have a lovely adult evening with friends last night and they were asking / commenting on how well behaved all my dc's seemed to be and how easy life was for me that ds2 although he has issues.. Did just follow the house rules!

I was trying to explain that rules and routine are so important to ds2 that if there is a slight detour on these all hell breaks loose.. And how actually I'd like him to break a few rules. Or how he copes with life through routine, and rules and outcomes.. Ie logically rather than intuatively.

Friends were really lovely but they really didn't get it lol
then when they started to get an little bit I believe the words were .. " omg... Poor kid"

so it is nice not to have to explain on here!

This thread has me nodding with recognition, too!

Al1son - DS1 frequently waits for "do as you are told" before acting on an instruction!

I get a few hours off on Friday. DH has taken the day off work just so I can go to a presentation about the PACT study that DS1 was involved with. There will be food. And adults. Best of all, I get to spend an hour or so beforehand shopping in Newcastle with no male company! On a weekday! I can go squeeze yarn in John Lewis without watching out for little hands emptying out all the displays and with no one melting down because they have to wait more than 30 seconds before moving on!!!

Yep, I'm excited about the small things I used to be able to do whenever I wanted.

John Lewis - I am jealous! It is my nearest equivalent to going back to the womb (does that make me very sad?).

Enjoy

It's somewhere I've really missed since moving out into the sticks. The website just isn't the same.

Though having said that, the lifts in that store suck. Another reason why it's going to be so much better going there without kids.

Oooo have a fantastic time!

Good luck today, Riven. Let us know how you get on x (sorry for the hijack Arsenic)

OOPS, I'm a day ahead -thinking it's Friday! Sorry x

Riven it's rubbish things like cancelled or waiting for appointments that just add to it all isn't it.. Not like there isn't enough to be coping with already.

Sibs I am also a day ahead today.. And can I just say I am rather hacked off that a client hasn't turned up as promised with a payment that was due last week.
They seem to forget that although I'm at home I do actually work to pay the flipping bid and it's not a hobby! Grrrrrrrrr

Bills not bid!

So glad you are being seen tomorrow Riven. Will be thinking of you and your lovely dd. Have a nice morning with ilovemydog,

So glad you got squeezed in

I'm glad you got squeezed in too. Will be thinking of you tomorrow but probably won't find out how you got on until after the weekend as have to go and visit the Wicked Witch of the South (aka MIL) this weekend.

Glad you haven't got to wait any longer to be seen Riven - will be thinking of you too..

Things so exhausting and horrible here too at the moment. Been thinking about posting but it feels like there are so many things - I don't know where to start.. I feel a bit paralysed by it all at the minute which is not good..

Still arguing the toss with LEA about dd's statement to start school in september, worrying about whether we've done the right thing choosing a split statement.

Wondering how I'm ever going to ever leave her at school as she can't even bear me to go the loo without her at the moment. Hope the SN school will be flexible about me staying around and settling her in.. MS will I know as did so with ds..

Her nursery ( which took about 6 months to settle her into) closed 2 weeks ago and so she will be at home all the time til she starts school having had 11 weeks off.. I feel like I'll have a nervous breakdown before then. I can't get anything done and she is exhausting to be with in or out of the house. As said before it's the constant pre-empting stuff that will set her off, always monitoring her situation, trying to keep her happy which often leads to making her older brother unhappy.. My shoulders are up round my ears by bedtime every night.. Then I find it impossible to sleep even when dd does..

We have just been refused DLA mobility component ( have high care rate ) and have missed deadline to appeal because couldn't find time or energy to do it, with all statement stuff going on.. Both kids got colds and coughs.. work in NHS (2 days when dh has dd ) is really really stressful and on top of everything dd is screaming all the bloody time..

She has always been a screamer but was often able to be distracted from whatever had upset her or made her annoyed.. Right now she is screaming so much while at home and out and I swear she'll burst my eardrums one time.. It's making me cross with her which is horrible as of course it's not her fault..

Last weekend we tried to have a night away as we were going to a family day organised by the Tuberous Sclerosis association for families like ours. Met families with older kids / teenagers and older who had TS. There was a rather haunting feeling seeing these older parents trying to manage these huge adolescents wanting create havoc - just as my 4 yr old dd does now.. Scary stuff - I try not to think about the future too much.. Hats off to those of you that are dealing with that right now.. They all looked so tired and weary..

It was in Wiltshire so too far to go in the morning really. It was a big mistake - dd didn't sleep all night and was so cranky - as was I - the next day.. and we all had to endure the soundtrack from Lazytown for any journey in the car.. 6 hour round trip.. Either that or screaming! Never been so relieved to get home.

Tomorrow we have the mainstream induction hour and I'm worried it will be a disaster..
she seems so vulnerable to be going to school. I can't get my head round it at all..

Sorry for huge post and thanks for reading if you got to the end!