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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

So wise ladies, what would you do?

7 replies

Lougle · 29/06/2010 23:36

DD1 is now preschool-refusing. I found her sobbing in bed at 4.30 on Monday morning, didn't want to go. Portage advised letting her call the shots.

Today, she only wanted to go and let me 'show her around', then said she would stay if I stayed with her.

It is SO unlike her. Never has she wanted me around before.

New SENCO (for those who know my story - it's lou031205 - old SENCO left), has shared the following gems with me over the last couple of days:

-DD1 is no different to the other kids, just needs a bit more attention.

-She looks at DD1, not her disability, and looks at what she can do. She can't see the need for any interventions or tools that make DD1 'different'.

-She has a choice board to use with DD1, but prefers to 'play it by ear' unless DD1 is running around.

-"They" (special school) don't know how intelligent she is. "They" were saying to use one key word instructions. She was shocked when I said she did need it, and that it was about processing not intelligence.

-When I offered to show DD1 her timetable to see what was next, she said "Do you have one then?" I said "It's on your notice board".

Today, I showed her my fingers to indicate time left at preschool, and DD1 folded them down one by one, saying "NO, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stupid stupid stupid stupid preschool".

Would you:

a) pull her out completely.

b) pull her out but take her in for sports day, leavers do, etc.

c) do as portage suggest, and play each day by ear, going with her as she wants to.

OP posts:

meerkatsandkookaburras · 29/06/2010 23:44

are you in touch with old senco or could you get in touch with her? are there any good staff at the preschool who understand your dd better??

personally i would play it by ear but essentially look for somewhere else or could portage go in a lot and sort them out??

Original poster

Lougle · 30/06/2010 00:03

I could contact old SENCO, but very much feel that it would be crossing a line to do so. She is friends with the staff. DD2 attends there, so I do need to keep a good working relationship.

Three of the staff members (including the leader) seem to really 'get' DD1, it is just a shame that the role is being shared between one of these three, and another staff member who is willing and keen, but doesn't seem to understand.

I can't look for somewhere else, as she starts SS in September. There are only 3 weeks left. Portage are on the case & making waves, but although that will help future children, there isn't masses they can do for DD1, because everything they suggest and advise is ignored.

OP posts:

meerkatsandkookaburras · 30/06/2010 00:11

my ds starts ss in september too, if it was me then and you could manage ok with her at home i would just end her there now and only take her back fro sports days etc if she and you think its worth it and wont cause more stress than its worth etc. personally i would make it clear though either now or at end of term to the leader why you have made this decision but then im always writing letters to people about things like that or moaning on lol

you know your dd best dont let anyone push you into keeping her there if you think not to, after all what difference will those few weeks make even if they go ok, not enough in my eyes to warrent risking it if they sress her more, but its your call i guess xx

claw3 · 30/06/2010 00:17

What have nursery said about it?

What is their advice?

Original poster

Lougle · 30/06/2010 00:23

Claw, we have various:

"But she's so happy here"
"She's very tired"
"She's picking up on your anxiety about transition to school" (today )
"I have no idea why"

I tried to stay with her a few weeks back when she was starting to cry for me, but I was told it was "DD1's thing" to cry for me if she didn't get her own way, and encouraged to go home.

It has now become a huge issue. She is crying in the night. That isn't good.

OP posts:

claw3 · 30/06/2010 00:38

I would go and stay with her, if she is happy to go as long as you are there, its better than not going at all.

Say to nursery, you will work towards re-settling her and gradually reducing the time you stay for once she is comfortable again.

If they cant identify anything that is causing her distress, perhaps you will.

This is the same nursery, that watched her stagger about when she started her new medication and didnt bother to call you. How the hell would they know what happy is!

StarOfValkyrie · 30/06/2010 07:58

Agree with claw. If you are happy to, I'd stay with her, until you and she are both happy for you to leave. Do try to leave a few times as you approach the end of term because it will be harder to stay with her at SS though.

Perhaps whilst there you could model for other staff how to help her. You might find a friendly interested one that you could 'hand her over to' when you tell her you are popping out for a 15 min toilet break or something.

If that doesn't work then I'd let her call the shots.

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