DD and secondary school

[jetcat]

i am after a bit of advice if that is ok.

My 13 year old dd is back at school part time now, after a period of home schooling - but due to go full time in september. She has dyspraxia, sensory issues and communication problems (waiting for aspergers assessment)

She is still having a lot of problems at school. She has ear plugs to help block out background noise (thanks to previous posters' advice on which ones to get) and a variety of passes to use when she is struggling at school - time out to quiet room, toilet pass to library (student ones are often locked and she wont ask for her key), early lunch pass etc etc. But, her biggest problem is communication. she gets so worked up in class, then when a teacher tries to get her to tell them what is wrong, it makes her worse and she ends up very stressed and withdrawn. the head of year has been emailing all her teachers, informing them that she should just be allowed her time outs, with relative few questions, but it is still not working very well. on top of that, she is falling further behind in her work, due to the constant time outs.

Pe is a nightmare - mainly due to the dyspraxia, but also in part due to dd's reluctance to even try (very low self confidence) - which then winds the teacher up as dd wont explain why she wont try (hurdles for example).

She has been assessed by an ot, who came to the last school meeting - and who has referred her to ed psych (again). But, school say there is a massive waiting list and she could in fact finish school before she is seen

What, if anything, should i be asking school to do? she isnt on school action or anything, this is all very informal - but i cant send her full time in september without trying to sort something out for her, as we are back to the constant tears and tantrums at home due to her stress levels being through the roof.

Trouble is, i have no idea what would best help dd, and therefore no idea as to what to say to school

well.....my experience is of primary school age and language problems more than sensory, but I'll throw a few thoughts at you in advance of more experienced posters coming along...

If she's being assessed for aspergers 1)is appointment likely to be anytime soon and 2)LEAs often have an Autism Outreach Team, who can come and advise schools, maybe they could arrange something like that before the diagnosis appointment?

I would be inclined to try and get things a bit more formal before September - so that school put together an IEP (individualised education plan) that will cover your DD's areas of difficulties, and set targets (which should be SMART - measurable/achievable etc).

In terms of her having difficulty with communicating her needs - does she have any language difficulties, or is more an anxiety problem? she might find it easier to express herself with pictures or words...Is she able to explain to you what stresses her out in the classroom, just thinking that if can figure out what bugs her, then you can give school senco some pointers.

You might find it useful if you can borrow/get hold of a copy of Martian in the Playground by Clare Sainsbury, it's by a youngish woman with Aspergers about her experiences at school, and she also talks to other people about it.

Oh also have you looked on nas (national autistic society) website, www.nas.org.uk, they have good general advice for parents about behaviour/communication issues.

given ed psych waiting list problems, would local CAMHS be any good, or would they not deal with this sort of SN?

thanks TC. She can physically speak, but takes a very long time, with lots of pauses etc, and therefore is very anxious about it, and will usually decide not to bother.

I dont think the appointment will be anytime soon, we only have 1 consultant, and he has been off sick for ages

I think school are holding off until a diagnosis, in fact, the head of year did actually say that. But, in the meantime, she is getting lost in the shuffle.

So, i could ask for an IEP for her? We are only a small borough, and as far as i know, we dont have an autism outreach team. I will check into it though

(while looking for that book, thanks for that)

I think you should ask for an IEP for her as the support in place (if any) is not meeting her needs at the moment.

School should not be waiting for a diagnosis before assessing her needs and putting strategies in place to help her. She has special educational needs whether or not she has a label for them.

Have you tried calling your local parent partnership group? They could give you some advice on the most effective way of accessing support in your borough.

If I've learned anything in the last year it's that if you don't shout your child doesn't get. If you feel that the school cannot put the support in place for your DD to access her education successfully ask them to request a statutory assessment. If they refuse you can do it yourself. Don't be fobbed off with assurances that she won't get one for some arbitrary reason like she isn't far enough behind academically.

HTH

thanks Al1son, i am going to type up a letter today to her head of year, asking if we can meet up to discuss and IEP

She should have an exit card, which she can hold up in class and be allowed to leave and withdraw to a safe place whenever she needs it. And there should be a safe place for her to withdraw to. And a contact person (school counsellor, SENCO) whom she can drop in on when things get too much.

Also, I would write to each of her teachers personally (particularly PE teacher) and explain how her difficulties will affect their subject and making suggestions about what they can do/should not do.