Last night I told my 8 year old that he has Aspergers. I've been building up to this and agonising about this for ages. But he is well aware there is something different about him, and it's been upsetting him.
In case anyone faces a similar task, here's how I did it.
On strips of paper, I wrote out the things that he finds easy or difficult (easy: maths, climbing trees, etc. difficult: making friends, chatting, etc.).
Then, using the example of Granny, we put the bits of paper into piles, one pile for easy, one pile for difficult. He loved it, giggling about Granny climbing trees and so on.
Then, we did it for him, a very different pile of paper. I explained that there is a group of people who all have the same things that he finds easy and difficult. They are Aspies, named after Mr Asperger who first noticed the pattern.
I said that he was an Aspie, which means he has a different sort of brain - one which finds some things easy, and other things difficult. The good side being that Aspies are often successful, as they don't waste time chatting, and the bad side being that friendships are hard.
He seemed to understand and recognise himself, and was very interested. But so vulnerable somehow. It broke my heart. Then I gave him a kids novel about a boy being diagnosed (Blue Bottle Mystery), with the main character resembling ds in so many ways. He read it in one go last night.
We haven't said much about it since, I guess it's sinking in. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel that the conversation went as well as could be expected, and had an upbeat tone, and I hope and pray I've done the right thing.