Really worried about my son.

[bumpsnowjustplump]

I am starting to get really worried about my son. He is 16 months and last night was totally out of control. He has always been getting more and more aggressiver recently. He hits out easily, he has also taken to screaming at the top of his voice when he cant do something. He hits things away if he doesn't want them and is basically quiet aggressive. (Sorry if i am not making much sense i am really upset)!!

Last night he woke up at 2 crying as always I went straight to him and cuddled him. He then spend two hours literally screaming the house down punching, kicking, etc. When I put him down he would throw himself around his cot with so much force it scared me, at one point he was almost doing a headstand. Also threw everything out of his cot.. When ever I picked him up he would punch, push away kick me etc. I tried to hold him tight but that made it worse, so I put him on the floor and he was rolling around the floor screaming and kicking out..

I have got a doctors appointment later on just to check there is nothing wrong ie ear infection etc but I am so worried... I have never seen anything like it last night, it was like he was possessed.. I have no knowledge or experience of special needs but could it be that my son may have something? in all other ways of development he is fine. He is walking, although he doesn't really talk he understands what we say and points at things he wants...

I am sorry if this all sounds normal but my daughter has never done anything like this and she is 3 so I have never experienced this. I am also sorry if this upsets anyone who's child does have special needs who may think I am trying to use it as a escape goat. I am not i promise i am just so worried and don't know where this aggression is coming from in such a little boy...

I think it's a good idea to get your GP to check him out just in case.

It must have been a very upsetting experience and quite frightening for you if you've never seen it before.

Does he have tantrums during the day? Does he get what he wants if he tantrums?
Could it be that he'd had a dream about something and was tantruming because he wanted that thing?
Could it be a night terror (although it sounds like it may be too long for that)?

His development sounds like it is fine so I wouldn't worry about any sort of developmental disorder.

What you've described could really just be a normal toddler tantrum and there could well be more around the corner. If that's the case he's unlikely to really hurt himself and just needs you to stay calm and offer him comfort when he's ready. In the meantime don't try to hold him - possibly leave him in his cot or on the floor watching quietly from a distance to make sure he's safe.

If it was more than that he'd probably have bruises you could show the GP today.

Try not to worry and remember that children show their frustration in different ways.

The night time event does sound like a night terror to me, he is the age when they usually start and they do go on for a long time (and the strange look in the eyes is scary)in some kids (and are worse when the child has been tired or upset during the day).

Normal toddler tantrums can be very full on too (been there), I knew of toddlers who held their breath till they passed out or made themselves sick. None of them still do it at 11.

Thank you Al1son. He does have tantrums but they are nothing like last night. He normaly just screams waves his arms around stamps he feet and then lays on the floor.

I normally try to distract him or will pick him up for a cuddle once he has had his tantrum. Do you think I should be doing something different? Any advice is really appreciated.

Last night it lasted for two hours, I couldn't do anything to make it stop.. I think he eventually just wore himself out in the end...

Hi Bumps. Saw your message on the other thread and thought I'd post about dd3 when she was the same age. I understand why you feel so upset - that's such a disturbing thing to happen, esp as night. FWIW we had similar with dd3, starting from 16mths until 4.5 (sorry!). Tantrums lasting 1-2 hours at night(starting at about 2am for some odd reason). They then started happening in the day too(everyday), involving the sort of behaviour you speak of. lots of violent lashings out (yes and the headstands too!) also making herself sick. Al1son's advice is excellent. We took dd3 to see our very good HV and she said that dd3's behaviour,while extreme, was at the top of the normal spectrum - we were just unlucky, esp after having dd1 who has had no more than 3 or 4 tantrums in her life (now 8). Suffice it to say,dd3 is now a delightful 7 year old, though very, very sensitive and gets pretty distruaght at the tiniest of things . Hope this helps a bit.Might be worth posting in behaviour thread too perhaps?

Thanks Diege i have gp appointment this afternoon just to check him over and will talk to him then about it all.. I am just so scared for him he has been, up until recently, such a laid back and easy going little boy that this has all come out of the blue...

good luck with dr bump try not too worry too much

Wiggly thanks for that I am sorry I missed your post before.

Hi there, the babies on our postnatal thread are all between 16 and 18 months and we have all experienced differing degrees of anger, tempers and tantrums with them over the last month or so.

I think its a normal development stage and borne out of frustration at not being able to communicate and the realisation that they are not in control of things.

They all differ in how they handle it, some just get a bit stroppy - others (like my dd) tend to smack whoever is closest when they get cross or frustrated and others have corking, humdinging, screaming tantrums.

It could have been a major scale tantrum, but as wigglybeezer said, it could also have been a night-terror, which are very scary for the parent, but the child doesn't remember anything about it afterwards. There's some information about night-terrors here and if you google 'toddler night terrors 16 months' you get a lot of similar worried parents posts coming up on forums all over the world.

Good idea to get him checked by your doctor though as like you said, ear infections etc can be easily missed.

I think you're dealing with the tantrums just right. You're reassuring him and trying to diffuse the situation without allowing him to make you change your mind.

I'm happy to be corrected about the night terrors - I was going on a small amount of personal experience.Perhaps that is the most obvious explanation then.

Hey Bumps
My ds2 has many tantrums like this too.
he is very easily frustrated and will get very angry and scream if he can't do something, for example, this morning when he couldn't get his brick trolley through the gap between the dining room chairs, massive tantrum and screaming fits for it.
He has many tatrums that can last over 30 mins at a time and they become worse if I try to settle/comfort him.
When he gets into this stage, I find it is best to just leave him to calm himself down.
It is quite upsetting for me to not be able to settle him, but he will not allow me to touch him when he is in tantrum mode and I end up making it worse
Ds1 has never been much of a tantrumer so is a bit of a shock.

My instints are telling me the only thing wrong with my ds2 is that he is a moody so and so (like his mother), but if your instincts are telling you something different, then i would follow them.

FWIW, I know many families who have small boys that tantrum like this and have nothing actually wrong iyswim.
try not to worry, bu if a talk with the gp would help, then do it.

I have als been told by a few that it is their opinion that having a boy after a girl is extra difficult because boys and girls can be so different.
i obviously have no experience of this having 2 boys myself.

Goodluck, keep us posted x

thanks sm I will let you know what the dr says later, although I am feeling a lot calmer now.. He is sleeping now ..

Bumps - get him checked out for an ear infection. Ds2 was like that when he came down with his - as soon as calmed and put down in cot went crazy. Pain does make little ones lash out so it could be that. Or it could be separation anxiety related - which I also had with DS2 around the same time - the key is to regain their trust and do gradual retreat.

Little boys are much more physical than little girls ime (and I know alot of little boys) and not so good at expressing themselves in words, so they do get frustrated and lash out. Like SM I really didnt have this with Ds1 who was an unusually placid child but Ds2 does have todzilla tantrums too many times during the day - however I know it is just a phase and will pass.

Be calm, be consistent, if they're throwing themselves around make sure they're in a safe place where they cant do themselves any harm and step back till they calm down abit so you can calm them - and remember the mummy mantra - this too shall pass...

I just wanted to give you all an update. DS has an infection in both ears. The doctor said that he thinks this coupled with his teeth are what caused the problems last night.

He wants me to go back in three weeks to see if things have improved, but he is happy that this was what has caused it...

Thank you all for listening to me and for your advice.. You all calmed me down and helped me to think straight....

Thanks for letting us know. I'm not glad he's got sore ears but very glad you've got an explanation for the other night.

Pleased to hear you got to the bottom of the problem.

Poor little thing, with an ear infection in both ears, no wonder he was thrashing about.

Its so hard to tell when they have ear infections at this age.

Hope he feels better really soon.

Thank you moosemama