Ok, so we've had the fairly useless EP Consultation Record through (i.e. an observation) and the OT report.
DS's teacher asks to see me on pick up today.
She wants to go through the EP's report.
DS (who is dreaming about the Match Attax stickers I promised him) gets progressively more irate and ends up having a tantrum. To which the teacher says 'this is very instructive for me as he never acts like this in school'.
I say 'well it always makes me feel like I'm being blamed when I hear things like that' and she was at pains to say ' no, no, I think you're fantastic to soak up all that pressure'.
I had to point out I did have a control sample in DS2 who did not behave like that - ever - even though he is only 4.
Anyway, we couldn't focus on doing the EP report but her comment was 'we're doing all this anyway'.
I just thought 'here we go'. Clearly, even even the most rudimentary suggestions are just going to fall by the wayside.
We agreed to meet Monday when I asked if we would talk about the OT's report too. To which she said 'oh we have been doing the recommendations but he can do all the hand exercises so we stopped'. They are supposed to be done on a continuous basis to strengthen his hands. They're clearly thinking - we're not doing that.
The EP had said she was going to do some training on sensory issues but is she really the right person? And just sensory issues? What about the rest of the spectrum related issues.
The thing is this teacher never offers to talk and I had written to SENCO and Head in the week asking for a meeting to discuss provision to which I have not yet had a response. They're clearly hardening their line now.
The teacher who is doing the transition work was full of crap about how artiuculate he was about last year's tarnsition and I had to say 'but it turned out a nightmare'.
I am so sick of everything. Do I really want to sit through years of shit and watch him freak when he goes to Junior school to prove me right. But he seems happy there and has friends and I just feel it is mainly me that gets stressed by it all. Life would be so much easier if I HEd - it really would.
You see, I don't think they're a bad school. They just lack understanding of him as an ASD child. They are nice to him. They don't shout at him. They encourage and praise him and really try to help getting him involved in the class. But when you make this progress, when you get them to shift ground, they forget how far they've come from doing nothing at all.
Like last year's transition work which actually ended up with him under the table or me in the class for the first few weeks. The teacher was so blase about it (oh it's not that different in Junior school), I ended up saying, well let's hope it all works then as otherwise he'll be outside the class.
She was also telling me how great he was at the social skill stuff they were doing. Undoubtedly true, but this is probably because they're not focusing on the stuff he does need help with.
I'm so pissed off today. I'm really getting depressed. I feel really trapped by everything. I know school aren't even that bad really and they're better than most. They can only go on what they see and DS doesn't tantrum etc in front of them and is doing well academically so they think what's the problem. It's not like the EP says 'oh you better do x,y and z, she says bollox all.
I've had DS2 off nursery for the last two days so I;ve not been able to work - again. I know this dx report is going to be full of shit. I'm sick of being on my own with the kids until 7 every bloody night.
Now I've just told DS1 off for embarrassing me and I'm screaming at the kids.
Should I write to the EP and set out all thnhe things she failed to look at? Or am I going mad??