Telling 8 yr old Aspergers ds about diagnosis

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My ds is 8 years old and has mild Aspergers.
Although he was diagnosed a year ago, we haven't told him (or anyone apart from the school) as he seemed to be 'getting away with it'.

Anyhow, we now realise that it is time to tell ds. He knows he's different, and his self esteem is rock bottom. Our theory (backed up by books) is that he'll feel better if he knows there's a reason behind his differences.

So, after much preparation, we're psyched to explain things this weekend.

Anyone had a similar experience? Any advice? I'm painfully aware about how important it is to get this right!!

www.autism.org.uk/shop/books-and-resources-from-the-nas/children%20with%20autism.aspx

Handy guides from the National Autistic Society that might help you talk it through with your ds?

And www.autism.org.uk/Shop/Amazon-Store.aspx which is their other book store for books they don't sell themselves. Well worth a browse.

We can be remarkably factual about the whole thing. I know that I found it a huge relief to know that I had a different design of brain which is why it's better at some things than others. Right now he probably does think he's the biggest failure in the world, but he's not. You're right to want to help him understand himself and learn what he can do. There's so many ways round most problems and challenges for us, if we have good help, support, encouragement and training.

Good luck!

Okay ..ds wanted to know why he was so different.. We had already delt with explaining about his dyslexia.. So we likened the social/ communication issues like that... Everybody has things that they find easy or find difficult.. You are working twice as hard to recognize what people mean or what there faces mean.
Everybodies brain work differently and that is okay.. Where you get frustrated.. You also find it a lot easier to remember facts.. Where you find groups of people confusing... Your great at organising and knowing the rules.
Where smells and noise irritate you.. You can spot something tiny without even thinking about it.

So we are all good at lots of things... Find other things difficult and have to work twice as hard.
Sometimes people don't know how to act towards people who are different... And it's not so nice.. But it's a bit silly of them really because we are all different.

Well that was the general jist of it.. Tried to point out we are all different.. We are all good at somethings that people struggle with or find things hard that we find easy. And that is what makes humans great.

We have had some questions since.. And have just answered them.
If you ask ds now why he's a bit weird ( common child question) .. He tells you/ them... I find people hard to understand... But I'm great at history/ maths etc we could help each other.

Hth seemed to work for us

Dd1 was diagnosed with AS when she was 4.5, we told her this year after her sister was diagnosed with ASD (as she was asking questions about her sister), i don't think she fully understands the dx and what AS is. I told her that she thinks differently to other children because she has AS. Sometimes she uses it to her advantage ('i cant help it mummy its my Aspergers') . She still struggles to understand why she does not have many friends and why she gets frustrated and upset easily. She seems to understand her sisters dx a lot better than her own.

I asked DS1 if he thought he was different from other little boys (I was going to explain) but he said, no, it's them that are different. Which is fair comment, so I have let it lie for the time being.

There are some great books and things, I had one that was really simple and told from the Autistic person's POV, will see if I can find it.

DS is 13 but only diagnosed with ASD 'similar to Aspergers but not quite' after starting secondary school. We told him that his brain computes things differently but that it was fine. He doesn't feel the need to ask questions or adapt much, although we find it easier if we do.
Most of the time he can laugh with us at things he does/says that are a little odd, although he occasionally gets teased at school.
Realising that his dad has probably got the same ASD (undiagnosed) makes it easier for him to accept tbh.
At the moment, he is going through a denial phase, which we tolerate while he is ok. As long as he seeks support when it's causing him problems then we let him deal with it in his own way.

BIG THANKS for all replies! x