SEN register

[debs40]

Interestingly, the other mum in DS's class who has a son on the ASD diagnostic waiting list recently realised (after coming to a meeting) that he was not getting any support through SA/SA+ and that she had never been shown an IEP in the two years he had been there, although he has SALT and has been getting some support.

She approaches SENCO who says he has actually been on SA+ throughout this time

She then asks about statementing and is told 'only children falling into the bottom 30% on achievement will ever get a statement, your DS will not get a statement, he doesn't qualify'

So where did that gem come from and why are schools so reluctant to put children on the register??

I think people can find it hard to understand the weird world we get dragged into. I have friends who are teachers and they have always been sympathetic but genuinely puzzled that school are acting the way they do - it almost seems incredible sometimes - I think it would to us if we were not living it. I mean 'how can this happen if the school is outstanding' etc etc. It can really make you sound like a 9/11 conspirator or other such loopy dude.

The fact is you can't understand the anger unless you've had to take an insititution on and I do think it is the instiutionalisation of attitudes built on the back of the numbers game schools are forced to play which can mean that common sense can be lost.

No, not all teachers are bad or unsympathetic. I am a lawyer and I know that we are not all money grabbing parasites. But some are and some people's experience with bad professionals, or unsympathetic institutions is simply crushing.

In my youth, I spent many years on claims against the police and 'anti-establishment' actions. The tales I've heard. People driven crazy through constant police harrassment. Illegal action taken against them. Property taken for no good reason. Racism. Violence in the custody suite. You name it. It didn't make me think all coppers are bastards but I know that institutions and cultures erode humanity and common sense and that there are franklty good and bad in all professions. Sometimes, police officers lie and so do teachers and lawyers and doctors. That is life.

no claw3 - but that is not what you said. You need to be careful to say what you mean. Teacher bashing is all too easy. I am sorry that you have had some bad experiences; however, had a teacher come on here and said a sweeping, harsh statement about parents then that would be a different story, wouldn't it.

Some of us care a great deal and do our utmost to help - hence, offence taken at 'most professionals and teachers or at least the ones who i have encountered are glorified idiots with a degree who dont have an ounce of common sense between them, who prey on parents having no idea

deb40 - totally agree with you. And can see that awful experiences lead to resentment. However, the generalisation and tone in claw3's post just made me very uncomfortable.

Just to add - I currently am taking an institution on in that my oldest son has some needs that are consistently not being met and has had the most horrendous year with teachers who have not understood him or motivated or supported him. It is frustrating and soul destroying to see my bright, gorgeous son crying as he does not want to go to school. However, I would never say that 'most professionals and teachers or at least the ones who i have encountered are glorified idiots with a degree who dont have an ounce of common sense between them, who prey on parents having no idea. '

Popsy that does sound awful but I think, kind of 'knowing' Claw as a cyber pal , it is because she has been driven to the depths of absolute despair by what has happened to her over the last year or so.

I think, maybe, because you are a teacher, you know they are not all bad (and claw wasn't saying they were) but it is hard to have that perspective when you have yet to meet anyone who will help you without being forced.

It is a question of perspective and experience and it is fab that you are posting to share yours so we can see - as with iamahappycamper - that there are really good professionals out there as angry about this sort of stuff as we are.

Popsy, ive stated a few times now, most of the ones that i have encountered and

i didnt say ALL are glorified idiots by default, just most of the ones who i have encountered and

i have referred to the professionals i have encountered, as this is no reflection on anyone else but the people who i have encountered

i think i have made it clear what i meant.

ok

But you know what. I too, meet teachers that are baffled by what I say. The trouble is, the preschool teachers at his preschool are also baffled by what I say, because they truly do believe that he is fine there, so I do wonder if there really are these 'good schools' out there at all, or whether it is just that some schools are slightly less bad.

That explanation from silverfrog has upset me. That children with asd are not so much of a person as an 'nt' child is something I have had niggling at the back of my mind but not addressed. To pathologise (is that a word?) normal but negative behaviour as a symptom of the condition to be 'got through' rather than addressed I think is something Lingle has mentioned before.

What is worse, is that for children with disabilities, sometimes the 'addressing' is even more critical than for nt, who DO have the ability to understand and deal with their own emotions, and CAN, through a desire to fit in, get through it and FIT IN!

I read so many stories on here and think 'If that were my child, I'd pull him out of the school this instant. But then what? Home school? Possibly. But that 'shouldn't' be necessary, and despite what some HE say, there IS something to be lost from not attending school, especially for someone who needs assistance integrating in society.

So what do you do? You try to talk to the teachers, LA, write letters, counsell your children, and send them back to the pit with fingers crossed that someone somewhere is listening to you. And you have hope, beyond hope that they do, and they say they are, and you believe them because the requests were simple and because you want to believe them, and then you find out actually it was all platitudes from people who tell themselves they know best and are simply trying to survive the school day, and bat off 36 sets of parents at picking-up time.

I didn't think I could ever get any angrier than I am now at the way my ds has been treated, but I have all this to come. And you lot here. You're not stupid and uncaring. You know how to write, how to speack, how to articulate common sense in a polite manner. You know how to choose a school, how to look around, how to ask the right questions. You know how to support the school in their efforts, how to ensure your children are prepped for the best learning opportunity the day has to give.

So why is this happening?

Very, very well put Star. I think the whole nature of ASD is not understood and although you cna go on courses where they tell you (Early Bird Plus) to change the environment not the child, the opposite is frequently true. This is particularly so if it has no consequence.

For example, we have had three different professionals say DS needs breaks or DS needs a card to ask for help. School don't so it as 'he looks ok' and not doing it so far has brought no personal consequence to the teachers - he's not lashed out or screamed. This is a misunderstanding of whose need you are meeting and confirmation that people assess an ASD child's needs on their judgment of them as 'looking normal' not on the basis of the child's worldview.

This is why we as parents are constantly haranguing teachers about issues which teachers 'don't see'. So what if you don't think he looks stressed if he hasn't had a break, you know bollocks all about ASD and those that do, tell you he needs one. So, do it!!

tbh, star, it's somethig I've long thought, but not wanted to articulate, iyswim?

the closest I have come to it before is by sayign I do not want dd as the "class pet" in MS school. That odesn't go down very well with LAs, but it is exactly what they are proposing when they say thingsllike "it will be good for her. and the other children will learn so much"

it certainly isn't a situation for the benefit of dd1, which is what should always be at the heart of decisions regarding her care/education etc.

there are honestly so many situations where I have ended upthinking "what on earth were they thinking of?!" thatit gets ridiculous. And, as you point out, I am not exactly shy at fighting her corner

there was a situation at her last school (the ASD one, who really should have known better) which happened twice - when, if they had listened to me, read her communication passport, and actually monitored her reactions, should never have happened at all.

I was angry the first time. The second, I was furious. I spoke (nicely) to the TA involved at pickup, and told her (nicely and patiently) why it should never have happened. She knew nothing of the background, and was shocked that shemight have been upsetting dd1 (I did beginto lose patiencea little at that point- dd1's reaction was not "normal", so howshe didn'tthink anyhting was amiss I'll never know, except of course, she was probably so steeled to ignore challenging behaviours, etc, etc, and so sure her course of action was right, that it couldn't be wrong)

I was told the following day (by the head)not to interfere with staff, and that I shouldn't tell them things which might confuse them, as the school had a way of dealing with situations which they always followed.

throughout all this, eveey day at home, I had dd1 tellingme she didn't like what was going on, and wanting me to sort it out for her, as she was unable to tell them she didn't like it.

I went in, and with dd1 with me, told the teachers concerned that they were not to do it again. that dd1 didn't like it, and she was very distressed by it. their response? "you shouldn't talk about these things in front of her - there is no quicker way to create a phobia"

ffs.

never mind they were gnoring she ALREADY had one, and was petrified of what they were going to do next.

as I said, it shouldn't have happened once, since I had told them about it all. BUt to then happen again, onceI'd reminded them - I can only assume that because she wasn't showing a "normal" reaction, then her fears did not count. (although I would dispute she wasn't showing a normal, small child reaction in the face of people she was supposed to be able to trust doing something that made her feel unsure - she froze completely, and withdrewinto herself - doesn't take a genius to work out something is wrongif you have a previously comfortable 4 year old suddenly (and consistently) withdrawing form a familiar situation, does it?)

Add in to that that I have had dctors dismiss her obvious discomfort at times with a breezy "well, hw do you know she is ill?", not ot mention thinking htat persistent rancid diarrhoea is ok - "oh yes, that is often found in autism" and not worht trying to sort out, the list really does go on.

I can only conclude that sometimes, some people do not see her as "worth" bothering with, or worth treating as they would any other person. and that is a truly horrifying thought.

Right, - so that gives me an idea for the first line of his statement:

DS is an extremely academically able and sociable child with a dx of asd.

If they read nothing else they will hopefully start out with high expectations.

LOL, at the class pet. DS went to a totally inappropriate SLT group course. When I raised my objections that the tasks were too simple they said it was good for the other children to have a model (and good for their tick boxes to show that they offered and he attended).

This thread has really made me think back to a year ago, when DS was diagnosed and the LA professionals really, truly seemed to believe that portage once a month (which offered the most insultingly basic and useless help, which mostly consisted of following DS around copying his stims and expecting that he would never speak) and speech therapy every 6 weeks was intensive early intervention. When I asked what they knew about ABA they all went white with horror and said it wasn't a road I wanted to go down. No, no, we have lots of nice eclectic (worst of all worlds) provision when he reaches school age, and by the way don't even think of putting yourself through the stress of applying for one of those nasty statement thingies. Most unnecessary. When I said I had heard great things about ABA, I was repeatedly told that it was cruel for the child and turned them into robots. It still incenses me to think they could give out such misinformation, which is so obviously based on the one paragraph about ASD they read in their BTEC coursebook in the seventies. How dare they not at least educate themselves about what ABA is really like today, and if they can't advocate it because of financial reasons, at least be a bit more honest about their agenda. I suppose that would be like asking turkeys to vote for Christmas, but still