Could my DS be ASD? Embarrassed really, I know so little of this subject.

[citybranch]

I'm sorry, I know very little about this subject and would like to learn more. I wonder if anyone here has any advice?

My DS is 3.5 seems a fairly bright boy, with good speech, chatty etc (I think he was a slightly late talker compared to my friend's DCs but managed to catch up well).

He is a very poor eater, and has been this way since about 12 months of age. He will only eat bread, peanut butter, yoghurts, breadsticks, cheerios with no milk. He has lived like this for 2.5 years. He truly seems to 'fear' other foods. His heart pounds and he gets into a state. He tried a tiny piece of scrambled egg recently and gagged and gagged for a long time afterwards.

His behaviour is very challenging, never does as he is told, screams and shouts at the tiniest thing, lashes out. Says no to everything.

The past few days have been very strange - he is ignoring me and not DH, for example he will ask DH for a drink but not me. If I speak to him he screams at me, or shouts NO. He has also been wetting himself on purpose (I can see he needs the toilet as he is jigging around, I say, 'please go to the toilet' he screams NO etc. Eventually I carry him up there and he wets himself halfway up the stairs.

He does go to nursery and doesn't seem to have any problems there (they haven't mentioned anything, except that he really dislikes drawing). He was quite late to toilet train and for a long time after he was trained at home he was frightened of the nursery toilet and would wet himself daily whilst there. He has managed to overcome this recently.

I'm trying to remember some other things...

He has difficulty focussing on things for any length of time. We went to a toddler theatre event and every other child there (his age) sat there enthralled with the play..... My DS ran around the back of the room, round and round as if nothing else was going on.

Similarly he went to a little toddlers football group and just couldn't listen, couldn't/wouldn't get involved. Really struggled with it and just sat in the corner emptying out my handbag/crying/complaining.

My friend says her gut instinct is that he may be ASD, but she admits she doesn't know much on the subject. I know nothing myself!

Have any of you here experienced similar or could you point me in the direction of some helpful websites where I can learn more?
Thank you so much, sorry for long post.

city None of us here will be able to really tell you 'what' is going on, but prolly most of us would suggest that when you get to the stage of writing a post on here with concern, then you are probably right that there IS something that needs checking out.

Can you get a referral to a developmental Paed asap. My ds is asd, and I don't recognise it from what you have written about your ds (possibly adhd) but tbh children present with all of these things very very differently.

For autism, you will want to try the ATEC I'm not sure what for ADHD. If you get odd scores on the ATEC, take them with you to the Paediatrician.

It is also worth keeping a diary of events from now until any appointments.

Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you figure it out.

The National Autistic Society has a good website.
It could be ASD but might not be. If you are really worried ask your GP to refer you to a Community Paediatrician or similar (not just a Paediatrician as they deal with physical health issues, but ask particularly for one who knows about ASD).
There might be a long waiting list for an appointment- in our area can be 6 months or more.
Hope this helps.

My ds1 was like this in many ways at that age. He was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder when he was 4. We have worked really hard with him over the last 2 1/2 years. He has had Occupational Therapy and Vision Therapy (currently) and is doing MUCH better. It is certainly possible that he is/was HFA or Asperger's. I have thought many times of seeking additional evaluation but it wouldn't have made a difference in what services he had so I decided to hold off. If I were you I would start with a Sensory Profile through an Occupational Therapist and take it from there.

Hi City,

I think its hard to say if he has ASD (as i don't know him), yes he has some ASD traits but so do most children. I would talk to your GP or HV if you are worried. He does sound similar to my dd1 when she was that age, she has Aspergers syndrome.

NAS

Aspergers

I think as you have concerns in a few areas it would be worth getting a referral for paediatrican who deals with development concerns, Speech & Language Therapy, hearing test. The eating issues sound possibly that there could be sensory issues there, and an Occupational Therapist trained in sensory processing would be the one to see.

It is hard to pick apart what is typical behaviour for his age and what could be sign of difficulties, but getting it checked out should at least give you a better idea of how to deal with it.

Thanks so much, I will look into all those things. My GP is not very supportive and says its just a phase (including the eating) but I really am starting to feel there is more to it than that.

Is there another GP you can see? Or is your HV helpful? You can self-refer to Speech and Language Therapy, you've said your DS has good speech but how do you view his understanding? e.g. how is he at following instructions.

Have you got a sure-start centre near you? I've had some really great support from a Family Support worker - she comes out to my house and has helped me with all kinds of things.

Re nursery, have you shared your concerns with them? Though they haven't raised any concerns of their own OFSTED etc has a huge drive towards child-led play and activities. My DS1's difficulties aren't that obvious when he is left to his own devices, but he does struggle with social interaction with his peers. Worth asking the nursery to observe that side.

Thanks, yes we have a surestart centre close by. I will speak to them, and nursery.

thank you