Feeling a crap mother thread....

[chegirlmonkeybutt]

I am feeling rubbish today.

Just got them off to bed.

I have just not handled things very well today.

I have a 9 week old, a 2 year old and a 7 year old (ASD, APD and Lds), a 16 year old, lost DD at 14 4 years ago.

I generally get along ok. Not as good as I would like since DD died, but better than some, as good as most, not as supermum as I would like.

I am just feeling a bit tired I suppose. 7 year old is a lovely, affectionate, quirky kid but he cannot be left alone. Unless I put him infront of a computor game then he could be left for hours.

Its hard to describe the things he does and I dont want to write a list as it will probably look petty. Some of the things are dangerous, some are very destructive and some just make me want to cry with frustration.

It wouldnt be so bad if I could see an end to it. I know my two year old isnt going to always do two year old things . But DS does not seem to learn from consequences and 'forgets' rules that are given to him. He does the same things over and over and over regardless of sanctions or punishments.

My OH is brilliant and very hands on but he is disabled (MS) and works evenings so is limited in how much he can do.

I am lucky to have my children and I chose to have so many so I am not asking for sympathy.

I need a kick up the bum because I think I have been mean to them all (not baby) today. Its not their fault.

Whinge.

You dont need a kick up the bum, you are only human! and sounds like you have your hands well and truly full.

We all have bad days, dont beat yourself about it

Thanks Claw but I DO.

This is my choice and I am the adult and TBH things are not going to get easier so i need to pull myself together.

But I appreciate the support

do you have any help/respite?

you dont need a kick up the bum, you need a shoulder to cry on on, and an ear to bend.

TBH, and this is very selfish, it makes me feel a bit better knowing that i'm not the only one who feels like a crap mum sometimes.

one of my kids has asd too, and i know , you cant list all the bizarre things they do. there's no point in trying to explain to people. and lots of people just dont understand the constant supervision bit. i feel like a referee. and i really feel my other kids suffer too.

so sorry about your DD. it must be so hard to carry on, but then theres not much choice is there.

sometimes i would just like to go and sit and mope in a cafe for a couple of hours with a magazine. but when would you ever get the chance?

hope you are feeling better tomorrow. you dont sound like a bad mum, but a stressed person. do you have a close friend you could see and speak to?

Ah we all have days like that you must be shattered with such a young baby as well I often go to bed feeling like a horrible parent and go up and kiss dd and quietly say sorry whilst shes sleeping. Its a new day tomoro and probably will be a lot better hope you get some sleep tonight as lack of it makes life hard.

No waiting but DS has recently started at a special needs school which has been brilliant. At least I am not stressed about his education.

He is coming on really well and is much easier to talk to now. Ironically his autistic behaviours are more apparent now some of the LD stuff has been sorted out. He is newly dx (the week DC5 arrived!) And I was a bit suprised. I am beginning to see it now though.

I doubt we would be eligible for anything anyway. DS not severe enough (I dont think). I take him to a SN sports club once a fortnight which is great.

TBH I think its a combination of stroppy teen, terrible twos and a newborn which is making DS's SNs feel a bit hard going right now.

Sorry pills and donught crossed posts

I am lucky, baby sleeps pretty well. Although i think I am just used to not sleeping well.

I think you are right about lack of sleep though. i am feeling more tearful than usual and fretting about OH's condition more. I worry about him all the time. I feel like our life is so tenuous (sorry I think I spelt that wrong too!). I am even worrying about the new government, I have a horrible feeling they are going to pull the rug from beneath us.

Thanks for your niceness.

And I know what you mean about being relieved you are not the only one pills

doughnut I do the kiss thing almost every night! They looks so angelic when they are asleep.

Oh now your talking, i have 3 stroppy teens and ds with special needs and school holidays eek!

We dont deserve a medal, but a glass of wine and a long hot bath once in a while.

oh absolutely! i've worried about the new gov. too.

yeah, am sitting with a budweiser just now. though am a bit worried that the packet of onion rings are gonna keep me up all night with indigestion...

dont assume you are not eligible for stuff. get yourself a half decent social worker and start applying for stuff. though of course with a new baby you're not gonna be up for doing a lot of stuff. do you get DLA? if not, get on the Cerebra website for excellent guidelines on how to apply.

You sound like a great mum thats worn out with worry! I hope you have friends or family around that can help. I think sometimes its hard having big age gaps mine are dd 20 ds 13 and dd 4 so you want to get to bed early because 4 year old still wakes at night but you wait up till older ones are in and they all have such different needs. Expect you have same problems my youngest dd has development delay not sure about autism yet. Did you say you get dvla for ds yet as im sure you would as we get it even without proper dianosis?

Sorry im tired i mean DLA

please dont think im ignoring you but my dh is fed up withme on the computer so im going to have to watch some boring program with him now hope you have a better day tomoro

I get DLA at low rate care and mobility for DS. I doubt I would get anymore than that although consultant insisted we should go for high both

I only got mid rate care for my lovely girl when she had cancer so cant see us getting high rate for DS. I was pretty suprised when we got awarded the mobility component anyway.

They awarded for 5 years and I was really shocked and pleased I wouldnt have to go through the process for a while. I HATE DLA forms. They depress the hell out of me.

claw I think my very clever, no SN 16 year old gives me more worry and takes up more time than the other put together at the moment!

(as if on cue he has just come in and plugged his electric gutiar in!)

You know what would cheer me up at the moment - dont laugh - I am obsessing about getting a good, solid, pram with a proper metal shopping trolley and big wheels. I am scanning ebay, preloved and gumtree all the time. Its not normal! I think its a whatyamacallit activity - displacement?

Bloody hell I am so tired I cant type/think/spell straight

that sounds like a magic pram!

why dont you try freecycle? someone might have one they dont need anymore.

I have 2 16 year old ds's, doing exams and a 13 year old ds just picking his options, nothing but parent evenings, options evenings, mum when can i start drinking evenings!

Electric guitar you say, just what you need aint kids lovely!

Good, solid, big wheel, dont make em like they used to, you go girl

How fricken sad am I? I used to go to nightclubs and everything!.

Now I dream of big boingy (has to be boingy) prams!

LOL nightclubs to boingy prams.

I used to go out from Thursday - Sunday and get up for work, those were days eh!

Now i look forward to curling up in my pj's with a mug of hot chocolate on a Friday night. All thats missing is the rollers in my hair and id be well and truly old and boring.

The only thing thats boingy about me, its my fat arse now

Good job I wasnt drinking hot choc then claw Your boingy arse wouldve made me spit it on my keyboard

I have images of me walking down the street with a boingy pram and boingy arse, well boinging all over the place.

Oh dear and i havent even had a drink, who needs vodka, when you have hot choc and a silly sense of humour!

Bedtime I think

Thanks for the laugh.

Good night Chegirl, glad your feeling a bit better. The boingy has tickled me