Looking for some objective opinions

[DiscoBabe]

I have some concerns about my ds who has just turned 4 yo. I seem to be alone however as those around me tell me he is fine and it is just the way he is. Although He is currently waiting to be seen by SALT.

It is alot of little things that worry me like;

His speech, which seems a little behind and he can be very screechy when upset. He sometimes repeats things said to him but not all the time.

Sometimes he twiddles his hands or flicks his tongue repeatedly.

Sometimes he avoids eye contact with people by hiding behind his hands or pulling his baseball cap right down. More so with strangers but also does this with people he knows and often covers his eyes when his teacher says hello in the mornings.

Avoids physical contact when hurt or upset. If you try to comfort him it often makes him more upset and if someone else tries to comfort him or talk to him it can make him quite hysterical.

Can play for long periods of time with the same toys.

Hates certain loud noises like the hoover, or our baby crying. Will cover his ears or run and hide.

Is a horrendously fussy eater. Will only eat pizza hut pizza and no other. Only eats certain brands of some foods. Has a very limited diet. Extremely resistant to trying new foods to the point he can be sick if we try.

Is very sensitive to being told off and will often get very upset over a mere raised voice.

Has certain routines. His younger sibling must get dressed before him or he has a tantrum if I try to dress him first. Had a phase of taking a certain route to get to shcool but seems to have moved past this of late.

Often gets very upset or has tantrums over very minor things.

Do these sound like things i should be worried about or am i being an over protective mother? TIA

I think that "it is just the way he is" is an inadequate response to this situation.

Could his sensory processing be slightly unbalanced? If so, noises like hoovers could be physically painful, and yet he might not process language as well as other children his age, causing uncertainty, leading in turn to anxiety, leading in turn again to an overreliance on fixed routines (which makes him seem inflexible to the outside world).
I suggest ordering the book "The Out of Synch Child" to follow this up, but others will more directly relevant experience will pop up in a minute.

Thanks. He has been referred for a hearing test too would this pick on some things being physically painful for him to hear?

I don't know anything about hearing - sorry. But no, I don't think a hearing test would show these problems. Sensory problems are not problems like deafness or blindness, they are about your central nervous system (I think) - how your brain processes the signals from your ears and eyes (and touch and balance organs and taste buds and nose) once they get inside the brain.

So your eyes, ears and taste buds could be working perfectly but when your brain processes the messages they are sending, it might do so in a way that's a bit unbalanced. This might (to pick pretty random examples - I'm not saying this is how it is for your son) make a hoover sound like a roar, a baby sound like a screeching ghost and eye contact seem like a hostile glare.

The Out of Synch book is quite highly recommended on this site and probably a good place to start though I think it does concentrate a lot on touch and movement perception.

I don't think it will be a complete answer, because he's 4 now, so he's also had lots of experience of anxiety and he's built up habits. My son is also 4. He's terrified of hand-dryers still, even though I suspect he no longer finds the noise that painful because his senses are more balanced now - he's not scared of similar aircraft noise, for instance - it was a genuine sensory issue when he was younger but now it's just as much a phobia as a biological problem.

Disco, the other thing you might want to consider is taking him to see a paediatric occupational therapist.
These are the people who understand this sensory stuff. Many speech therapists are experts too, but some are only good at fixing prononciation problems.

lingle - how did you get your sons senses more balanced?

DiscoBabe - I'm sorry, I think you should be a bit concerned. Have you talked to your GP and asked for a referral to the child development paedetrician?

Don't ever worry about looking like an anxious Mum. Better to be that, than to miss out on getting the help your child needs.

No i haven't spoken to anyone as such. I've kind of skirted around the issue with his nursery teacher which is where the speech issue came up. I had my suspicions about his speech but again everyone told me he is fine so i doubted myself. His teacher said he is immature for his age but didn't say much more than that. Think i might call my HV and have a chat as shes lovely.

Would i need a referal to the occupational health therapist?

honestly I don't know disco - my sons' issues were with understanding language, so I know a lot about that now, but nothing much about the sensory stuff. I'm planning to take him to a private occupational therapist in a couple of weeks - maybe I'll have more ideas then!

I think you would need a referral to an occupational therapist, and suspect you'd need to see a paediatrician first.

As PeacefulLiz says, get yourself to the GP and don't take no for an answer. I'm hoping someone else will come along and tell you what to emphasise - if you sense he doesn't understand what people are saying to him, then do emphasise this. But it's the combination of all these things - not any one of them alone - that's the point - any one of them alone wouldn't really be too much of a hindrance would it?

I'm not saying he won't grow out of this stuff, by the way, but obviously you want his experiences of early childhood to be as good as possible. Sometimes we outgrow the original biological problem but the anxiety and shyness it led to stay with us much longer I think.

Ok. Yes it is all the things combined rather the individual things themselves. Thanks for all your advice its much appreciated x