so, we solved dd1's sleep issues, and even had a month of stress free going to bed. now dd2 has started playing up - wwyd?

[silverfrog]

So. About a year ago dd1 started having major sleep issues. Lots of.screaming and crying, and we had to jump through hoops basically. A terrible year followed, with us tearing our hair out.

Since we moved house, all has, bizarrely, been fine. At 7.30 ish we take the girls up (they share) and they were asleep by 8 at the latest. We were but .

A void of weeks ago, dd2 started chattingots, and.keeping dd1 awake. We kept an eye on it, but as they were happy enough, and usually asleep by 9.30 (staying in room all the time, reading books etc) let it be.

Then dd2 started sharing dd1's bed. Not so good as dd2 starfishes across it, leaving dd1 scrunched up in a corner. Dd1 doesn't like this, but unable to say so. So we talked to dd2, she got a bit tearful, but was 50% of the time ending up back on her bed, so an improvement.

Then we went away over BH weekend. It was a disaster, with dd2 refusing to sleep (never normally happens - we go away frequently and she usually ok) . She wanted the door open, and me to wait outside until she went to sleep. We left the door, and I waited.for a bit, but gradually withdrew while she was still awake.

Now back home, and she refuse to sleep last night again. Wanted the door open, and the light on. Plus the door to the.landing too (landing opens.onto dressing room, which leads to dds bedroom)

Dd1 does NOT like this at all. She wants the light off, and the door closed.

So, (and sorry for huge post, but wanted to give background) wwyd? If we leave lights on and doors open, dd1 is upset, which we want to avoid given it took us a year to solve.last.sleep issues. If we turn the lights off and close doors dd2 is upset which means dd1 gets upset and we're right back to square one again.

Also, if door is open, dd2 wanders about, which we need to discourage before dd1 starts doing it too. If we tell her off, she gets upset, and the whole cycle starts up again.

I don't think either dd would like to separate out rooms (although this is an option as we have the space).

.

Still, I suppose we had a month of good bedtime...

DS1 needs a lot of peace to be able to crash out. Ours share a room, too and they're not safe left alone together, wide awake, so we've ended up sending DS1 up first (between 7 and 7:30, lately), sharing a story with him and giving him time to settle. DS2, meantime, does what DS2 does downstairs, mostly out of earshot of DS1 and, more often than not, ends up crashing out down here. He's a heavy lump when he's asleep, but DH still manages to carry him up.

It's far from ideal, but about the only way we can avoid wailing, door slamming, kids hurting and annoying each other and their room being trashed until well after 9pm, leaving them waking up really grumpy in the morning.

you see, until this lst couple of weeks, they have been fine sharing.

and we don't know what went wrong with dd1's sleeping (when they were in separate rooms - only started the sharing 18 months ago, in an effort to help dd1), and consequently don'tknow what's been fixed now that she goes happily to bed again.

At its worst, dd1 screamed until 11pm or so (having previously gone to bed at 7, and asleep by 7.15ish)

am scared of triggering relapse in dd1's sleeping habits.

but if we leave it the way it is, then dd1 is going ot be upset anyway.

if we separate, dd2 will still want door open, so will go and disturb dd1, I reckon. if we tel her off, she gets upset, and then dd1 is upset (always is when dd2 is upset)

viscious circle really.

bugger.

My two boys share a room too. I do have a spare room but they didn't like it when I tried separate rooms. So I do bed time routine with them together then ds2 goes into bed while ds 1 goes into my room with some books. Ds 2 settled very quickly and is usually asleep in about ten minutes (settles well thanks to his weighted blanket!) Then ds1 can go off to bed and I have no carry on from them. Mine both like the door open when going to bed. I close it over when asleep but leave it open a couple of inches and the bathroom light on as ds1 doesn't like to be in the dark.

Could you put your dd1 into bed first as she had been settling and then when she is asleep other dd into bed and open the door for her then. Would she chatter and waken dd1 or might she be quiet if she had no response from her sleeping sister. My ds2 just becomes very chatty/noisy and silly hysterical laughter if his brother is awake to give him a response. So he goes to bed first. It doesn't really eat into my evening as I get them ready at same time and just have to return once to send ds1 to bed and he goes no bother.