mmddww,so sorry you're feeling despondent.
I am a salt with a dd with a communication impairment,so know what it's like from both sides.
If it's any consolation,you are lucky to have come across MN where you will pick up very important knowledge and also receive sterling support.
I am not going to add too much to what has been said,other than to point out that the girls are right about speech and language therapy not being the be-all-and-end-all and the same applying to speech. I work with some brilliant communicatores who have limited speech (thinking partic. of some children with DS) and others who have a lot of speech but inadequate communication (some of the people I know with Autism.)
SALT provision is patchy and inadequate and many salts are not fully 'up' on things,partly because communication is such a huge subject. Most therefore try to specialise in one area but even then it is hard to keep up,read up,attend courses,while attending to one's monstrous caseload. Not justifying,merely explaining.
It is always good to be honest with the salt about your hopes,expectations and aims and then they can be discussed.
Show her stuff you have got off the Internet. There is some good stuff out there,but also a lot of nonsense. Some trusts have a leaflet outlining questions you need to ask before emabarking on a pioneering (and possibly expensive) therapy such as ...
Can I speak to parents whose children have benefitted?
What research has been done in this field? Can I see it?
Like nearly everyone I see,you just want your child to talk,but there are many aspects to this.
Think of it like weaving a basket. Each frond/branch contributes to the greater whole. Thus you are looking at a 'journey' of working on things like pretend play,joint attention,understanding increasingly complex demands,enjoying books together and so on and so on.
Tell the therapist that you know there are problems everywhere with salt provision and thus you want to know what she suggests in addition. I have a cupboard full of handouts,photocopied artticles (anonymous) case studies,play suggestion,booklists and catalogue recommendations that very few people are interested in.
The ones that are can be amazingly creative. One family club together to buy the child in question something really fabulous and sensory from
the Special Needs catalogue,another parent comes with me on training sessions to talk about things from her perspective.
One of my schools is currently being rebuilt and we have planned a room for parents to meet in,make PECS resources,discuss ideas and so on. MN works just like this actually. I've picked up some great tips.
Don't hide away. Get out there,joing support groups,talk to people,contribute copiously to MN. It is tough (and like you all I have very low moments. At the moment,dd's problems are the first thing on my mind every morning as soon as I wake.)but not insurmountable. Things are changing for people with SN-not fast enough admittedly but we're getting there. There is no one solution,merely a pot pourri of strategies,ideas and intervbentions which will help at particular times in your child's life.
You are not alone,remember that.