How do you tell 5 yr DS about ASD?

[emsieh]

Hello. DS has had recent diagnosis of high-functioning ASD. Has anyone any tips on how to tell DS or start to tell him - he is 5 years old and v. bright. My concern is that they will start using the term at school and he will wonder what they mean. He is already picking up that he is a bit different to other children in his class.

Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Hello. My DD is 7.5 and was diagnosed at 4 with HFA/AS. I would be surprised at school if they refer to his autism in front of him/the other children. They certainly didn't at DDs school. What they have done is have talks about how everyone is different, what some people find difficult others find hard etc. If the autism support teacher comes in to observe DD I don't think it is obvious who she has come to see.
We were finding too that DD was aware of the things she found more difficult than others and have recently told her about her autism. We found a wonderful book called 'I am utterly unique' and read it with her and discussed it. It focusses entirely on strengths of HFA children. Told her something along the lines of 'there are very few children who are like this, and guess what you are one of them!' Kept it all v positive. When she finds something easy (ie all school work) we might say 'oh, I think you found X easy because of your autism'. We are now starting to discuss the things she finds difficult, which is easier now she has the positive to go with it, IYSWIM. I am glad that we are now able to discuss it more openly, but I am not sure whether at 5 she would have been able to understand so much.

hope this helps.

I agree, Starlight that at 5 using the word autism won't help, and he won't be likely to encounter it. Strengths and weaknesses as you say. However, I don't think it can be avoided forever - for example, all of the books you might need, such as 'The Incredible 5 point scale' (which is soooo helpful, btw) will mention autism. If we look at a book, DD will want to read it from cover to cover, so I am pleased she now has a bit of explanation from us. However, as I say, I do agree that an explanation too early is not necessary or helpful!

We told our son 6(ASD) because he overheard me say this to someone to explain his behaviour at the time,and also because another child with autism joined his gym group and my son became very afraid of the new lad.
The new boy tiptoe walks and likes to hug people and also shouts out....whereas my son is the total opposite,he doesnt like contact,or sudden noise and suffers greatly with anxiety.The new lad was touching my son and shouting out so my son wanted to leave gym so we explained about autism and how all people are different.
Yesterday i asked my son to pass me something and he said "i cant mum because thats one of my autisms i cant pass people things and the other one is that im clever" lol
Unfortunately we did have move his gym day to another day as his anxiety was getting too much for him and he was becoming very distressed about going.
I think if your son is bright it would be better to explain things to him now at a young age children take things in their stride,it also helped me to explain alot of things to my son when he realised he was different.

Explaining why some of my DCs friends are "different", we often just use the word different. Then as they get older we explain more. So Y has Downs syndrome, R is autistic as is J, but they act very different aren't they? And of course P is deaf, F has mobility problems and M is dyslexic.
The worst one we had was a boy who I was pretty sure was ASD but his mother was in deep denial, and it I was biting my tongue as I couldn't explain his slightly frightening behaviour to my son.

"Everyone is different" though is quite a hard concept to get through to kids with ASD. But if you can do that, and the school are supportive you should do well.

Good luck!

Thanks very much for all of your great advice. I think I will definitely focus on the strengths aspects because DS can do some fantastic things. Have been using this to explain DS's autism to DD.

Unfortunately the SENCO at DS's school is now on maternity leave and DS's current teacher can be a little tactless at times...

Thanks again! (-: