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New house and ASD

12 replies

sc13 · 27/05/2010 15:14

I'm sure this has been covered many times before... We have just moved house - bigger, very near park and nursery (and future school).
DS (4.1, has ASD) had been taken to the new flat a few times before the move; we read him a social story book about moving house for a week beforehand.
We have moved; he seems fine: loves the house, loves his new room, loves his new bed (he says as much), sleeps perfectly.
The problem is that from the day we moved, he has massive tantrums when we take him to nursery (the same nursery), and he keeps screaming: "I want to go home!"
I'm sure this is not about the nursery at all, but about the new house and the change. DH says it's a matter of getting used to it, but DS hardly ever has meltdowns, and he seemed so unhappy this morning. Can anyone think of anything I can do to help him with the transition?

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StarlightMcKenzie · 27/05/2010 15:31

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sc13 · 27/05/2010 16:01

Maybe - the thing is, his communication is nowhere near complex enough for him to explain this to me. It's mostly guesswork on my part - he says he likes the new house, he says he loves the new bed, he has only asked to go to the old house once. Bad language-obsessed mother that I am, I made a mental note that he finally uses the 'old-new' pair of opposites, but perhaps that was a signal of distress. He doesn't answer 'why' questions yet

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SmellyBill · 27/05/2010 16:05

could it be the change to his journey to nursery e.g. if you always took the same route he is finding it hard to adjust to the new one? Maybe take some photos of things you pass on the new route to help him adjust?

sc13 · 27/05/2010 16:14

Thanks for that - I thought it might be the route actually. The old route involved taking the bus, which he loved. It didn't have to be always the same bus (DS is a bus-spotter), and we could take the bus from different stops, but there was always a bus involved.
Thing is, now it's 5 minutes' walk. How do I get a bus into it??

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StarlightMcKenzie · 27/05/2010 16:18

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sc13 · 27/05/2010 16:20

You know, I was thinking along these lines - perhaps I could take the bus to the stop where we would usually get out, and then walk it, and then fade out. It will feel all a bit absurd, but then that's life with a child with ASD sometimes, isn't it?

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StarlightMcKenzie · 27/05/2010 16:21

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SmellyBill · 27/05/2010 16:21

can you promise a bus trip at the weekend? Has he got a calendar where you could indicate bus trip days and non-bus trip days?

silverfrog · 27/05/2010 17:35

At what point does he scream for "home"?

On the way out of the house?

All the way to nursery?

When you arrive?

When you are about to go in?

If you asked what was making him sad/cross would he be able ot answer? (in a yes/no way - a bit like 20 questions, but when dd1 was having meltdowns over seemingly random things, I sometimes found she went quiet when I entioned the right thing, as htough she quietened because she no longer had to scream as I oculd now do something about the problem)

On a separate note, at bedtime, I now tell dd1 the story of her day, and she joins in with the bits she can. this has often helped us lots when there has been an issue we haven't understood, as when we get to the relevant bit, I might be saying "and then, after lunch dd1 was very sad/cross/worried " and dd1 pipes up with "no strawberries" or similar, which helps pinpoint what she was having a meltdown about! No help immediately, but maybe one ot build up?

silverfrog · 27/05/2010 17:36

oh,have read on a bit.

does look like buses might be the answer.

sc13 · 27/05/2010 18:29

Thanks for these - I like the story of the day thing. We used to do that when we had visual timetables (which we have now faded out, but perhaps I should reintroduce one for a bit), going through the timetable and talking about what he had done during the day.
Will try the bus thing tomorrow - might also try a 'you choose' board for a new route which he likes and doesn't involve the bus.
Thanks guys, helpful as ever!

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silverfrog · 27/05/2010 18:56

both dds absolutely love the "two little girls" story.

I started it on holiday, as a way of introducig what we would be doing the next day (break of routine, best to tackle the subject early, etc) and told the stories of what 2 little girls did all day, and wha tthey might like to try, etc

it soon evolved into a re-telling of what has happened today, and they still love it. dd1 has got really good at telling us what she has been up to in the day at school now.

I found it was really useful for all the time words - before/after/morning/afternoon/etc.

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