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My unpleasant CAF experience

10 replies

rebl · 25/05/2010 18:28

My head is spinning. 3 hours in the hottest room ever. Apparently I'm an over anxious mother who can't accept that my son is achieving average and this OK even though they ALL said he's a "very bright and intelligent lad". I say that he would be achieving above average if he was properly supported. But apparently that makes me an anxious mother.

They shot me down in flames when I asked for a wireless radio aid because he can follow other children in PE and doesn't need to hear the instructions . I repeatedly asked why because he's deaf he's only to be a sheep and never a leader and was told that lots of children are sheep. I tried to argue that he's never being given the opportunity to be a leader because he's deaf and apparently thats acceptable .

They did agree that they need to sort out his incontinence and the school will HAVE to follow the training program regardless of whether they want to or not. It has been agreed that the school will get a support worker on a once a fortnight basis just to support them in the training program but tbh thats not enough, the school can't do the program on a daily basis.

The dietician was told to do her job and liase with the school over my ds' special diet. So I guess if that happens that will be good.

But the overall feeling I've come away with is that I'm over anxious because hes doing just fine (ie. average) and there is nothing wrong with that even though they all agree he's got above average intelligence. Plus I've not got the wireless radio aid because they don't think its worth it because he can just copy the other children. Hasn't felt a very productive 2hours of my time tbh.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 25/05/2010 18:35

Sorry to hear that you had such a negative experience Rebl. That's their standrad response when parents start asking for things that school / LA don't want to give them - that you an anxious parent. An absolute load of rubbish, but welcome to the 'anxious parents' club - there are many of us on here!

TBH with an attitude such as you encountered today I would immediately apply for a statutory assessment that may lead to him being awarded a Statement. There is a sample letter on how to do this at www.ipsea.org.uk. That will make them sit up and take notice. Intelligence doesn't come into it - he has a disbaility and requires euqipment and support to put him on an equal bsis with other children.

I find it quite outrageous that he'es being denied this equipment.

Si ignore the idiots that are trying to condition you into thinking there's nothing wrong / it's all your fault etc and apply for an assessment.

Best wishes

merrymouse · 25/05/2010 18:56

If this 'being a sheep' is so wonderful why don't they give all the other children ear plugs in P.E. so that they can't hear the teacher either.

Maybe you could apply for all the assessors to go to a yoga class without instructions.

Sorry they were rubbish.

wigglybeezer · 25/05/2010 19:01

I have yet to meet anyone involved with my DS's education who is willing to help him achieve his true potential rather than accept "improving slowly but below average.

Apparently because he has AS they don't seem to think it worth it to tackle his dyslexia.

DS3 has started school now and is doing very well, he has a similar IQ to DS2 (I think) but no dyslexia. I have to stop myself from saying "See! this is what my children can and should achieve".

Teachers do not think we are capable of being objective about our children.

Grumble, grumble ...

Good Luck!

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/05/2010 19:16

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bigcar · 25/05/2010 19:43

get onto theNDCS ring their helpline, they have people who will advise you. You could see if they would lend you a wireless radio aid under the blue peter loan scheme, if it proves worthwhile the lea may have to cough up. Do you have a teacher of the deaf? You have my sympathies, wireless radio aids are not available to younger children here either.

rebl · 26/05/2010 14:39

Thanks everyone. I got no sleep last night because I was in such a state and I'm a wreck as a result today. But we've decided that a complaint is needed to head of sensory service. We are going to say that we do not accept that is ok for ds to be a sheep because he's deaf. That the equipment exsists, and is owned by the LEA, to enable ds to fully access the full mainstream circulum by himself without having to be a sheep and copy others. That we feel that the tod (and school by dint of agreeing with the tod) has directly contravened the SEN code of practice paragraph 14 which states that

"Schools are required not to treat disabled pupils less favourably for any reason relating to their disability and to take reasonable steps to ensure that they are not placed at a substantial disadvantage to those who are not disadvantaged. "

I sound like an axe to grind or something now! But after no sleep and still being so angry I have to do something. I have also spoken to NDCS and they are recommending we borrow a wireless radio aid from them but we do need the tod to sign the form which might be a problem given her view point. But its worth a try I guess.

OP posts:
justaboutupright · 26/05/2010 14:40

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StarlightMcKenzie · 26/05/2010 15:04

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rebl · 26/05/2010 15:19

I'm sooooo tired today thanks to not sleeping at all last night (it must have been 5ish when I eventually slept as it was starting to get light and was woken at 6:30 by ds) that its difficult not to be emotionaly. I can quote the person. My dh was present and took extensive notes so we know exactly who said what.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 26/05/2010 17:45

Hi Rebl

Don't be reticent abouting quoting the idiot - they were idiotic to have made that crass statement.

You're absolutely right to pursue this on disability discrimmination grounds.

Don't let them get to you - you'll win in the end.
Best wishes

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