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DS has thrown the Wii remote through (well almost) the LCD TV.

8 replies

TheJollyPirate · 24/05/2010 18:29

DS has ASD and ADHD (talk about a double whammy). he was diagnosed two months ago - the ASD I sort of expected but not the ADHD although now it HAS been diagnosed I can see he fits the criteria in every way.

A year ago I treated myself to a new TV - I'd been watching a portable for 2 years and had saved enough to splash out on a bang up to date LCD one. I also splashed out on a Wii as I wanted to use the Wii Fit and thought it would be good for DS's co-ordination.

Fast forward to last week when DS got frustrated with a game he was playing (frustration and anger is a BIG issue with DS). I was upstairs re-making all the beds when I heard him rage and then heard a "clonk" then silence.

TBH I thought he had based the Wii remote down and was annoyed but just as I was about to go downstairs and investigate DS appeared and said "Mum I think I broke the TV" and oh my goodness he had indeed "broke the TV".
The glass of the screen is intact but b ehind the glass is a massive chip (looks like chipped glass) and from this lots of cracks and lines. Initially the TV was watchable (just) through this but I've now lost the picture completely - blank screen and only sound.

WWYD? I have told DS that we now have no TV (well I guess I save on the TV package from Virgin - ditto TV licence). I have insurance but am loathe to make a claim just yet as I feel DS needs to see the consequences of his actions so that the TV is not just replaced. Am guessing that I can claim at any time as the accident could have occured at any point so leaving it a few months will make little difference.

I have had a long session with one of the parent advisors at the local special needs centre and have some visual stuff on identifying the various stages DS goes through before blowing his top. This is about helping him to identify those stages and take appropriate action before he reaches that point again.

Apart from grounding him for the rest of his natural life (NOT tempting) what else could I have done? How would you cope with this?

DS knows what he did was wrong and expressed remorse but this does not change what happened. My concern is in making sure it does not happen again - next time it could be me or another person who gets in the way when he throws the remote (not that he will as the TV is broken and the Wii well out of reach).

So no social life as DS is very active and difficult in the evenings, no evening to myself or very little and now not even a TV to use when he DOES finally fall asleep at night [self pitying emoticon]. It's crap.

I have some stuff to talk to him about anger with. We have done a worksheet together looking at how he feels when he is angry and where he feels the anger in his body and he said he gets "fizzy fingers". From this I am thinking that a stress ball he could squeeze would be good. Anything else that might help?

OP posts:
TheJollyPirate · 24/05/2010 18:31

He is 7 just in case anyone wonders.

OP posts:
silverfrog · 24/05/2010 18:38

sorry thisis happening.

I well know the feeling of "what to do about THAT?" and I sympathise with you not wanting to gound him (I would have similat feelings about that!)

What does your ds like to do when he is frustrated? how do you think he could be best soothed? how old is he?

some things that have worked for soothng are:

safe spaces for dc to retreat to when they are feeling scared/frustrated/generally overwhelmed

deep pressure massage type things can work- rolling up in a duvet, sitting on top of cushions on top of him (sounds like torture, but honeslty can help in controlled circumstances!) or a weighted blanket - lots of people swear by these to help calm dc.

would a PECS system work - he could hand oyu a grumpy face (for eg) when he feels he is getting his fizzy fingers, and together you can work out where to go?

even play doh can be good (as long as not gluten snesitive) rather than stress balls

would somehting like a trampoline work for getting the frstrationout? or kicking a ball around in the garden (away form windows!)

sorry if none of htis is any help, but didn't want to leave you unanswered

2shoes · 24/05/2010 18:43

can you claim on house contents?

TheJollyPirate · 24/05/2010 19:08

Funnily enough a trampoline has been recommended but we have no garden. I am housed by the council at present and am about to apply for a transfer on medical grounds to a house with a garden for just that reason. The doctor who looks at cases though rarely lets anything through and he may well turn me down.

Oh how life changes - 14 years ago I had a mortgage, nice home and garden. One failed business venture later (ex DH's business) and I am housed on the local sink estate with very dodgy neighbours next door (not kidding - they are dealing drugs so I am told ).

I can claim on house contents but will leave it a bit so that DS can see that you don't just replace things that quickly. To him this is a long period of time with no TV (and tbh I am not missing it) and is a consequence of his actions. If it's a hardship for him so much the better.

OP posts:
ouryve · 24/05/2010 19:28

We have a mini trampette for DS1(6, autism, ADHD - yes, its a truly sucky combination) for school holidays, when he's not getting his daily trudge to and from school. That might work for you.

And we just had to replace our ancient and enormous but sturdy CRT, since our old sky box (stopped paying for Sky years ago) died and our freeview recorder works for about an hour, then overheats. Between the two boys, we're not confident that the new TV will last 2 minutes.

Shame you don't live nearby, or else I'd offer you the old TV - it's survived 6.5 years of DS1 - even survived his toy hammer with nothing more than a hairline crack, though we did end up having to superglue the control panel on the front shut after the boys snapped the cover off.

Marne · 24/05/2010 19:48

Our TV has had a few near misses, dd2 took a fork to it a few months ago and then last week i left the brush in the sitting room (after sweeping the floor) and she was swinging it around just missing the TV.

I know what you mean about the council, we are having problems trying to get housed as the doctor will not write us a letter, the council seem to think we are making the dd's problems up to get a bigger house .

TheJollyPirate · 25/05/2010 13:49

Ah well - better off financially now - cancelled TV Licence and TV package.

Might look into a mini-trampette if the DLA ever comes through. Am betting they are going to turn me down initially.

OP posts:
ouryve · 25/05/2010 14:44

Ours was only £15 from Amazon. They're pretty inexpensive.

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