Hello everyone.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting here but I'm really worried about my DS and I thought that perhaps some of you could have a look at my sons behaviour and let me know what you think.
My son will be two in a weeks time. He has been 'difficult' since he was about 7-8 months old. Initially I though he was just a spirited child who was very determined and head strong. However over the last 6 months his behaviour has escalated. My main problems with him is that he is violent! He hits, pulls hair, scratches and bites - much of the time this behaviour is unprovoked - well as far as I can see. He'll just walk up to a random child in the park for example and hit them or pull their hair or throw something at them. He goes to a childminder four days a week and behaves like this there my childminder lists this kind of behaviour in his diary and sometimes he will have hit another child or pulled hair etc up to 12 times in one day.
When pulled up on his behaviour he just laughs it really feels like he doesn't care that he is hurting someone. I say to him that its not nice to pull Mummy's hair or hit Mummy etc and he laughs and does it again. No form or punishment works eg naughty step, taking a favourite toy away etc but I suppose that could be because he is too young to understand.
He rarely does what you ask him to eg he won't tidy anything away when you ask him or hold your hand when out walking if he doesn't want to. He goes ballistic if any child touches one of his toys but expects to take anything from anyone if he likes the look of it.
He doesn't get hit at home or shouted at (well not much! sometimes I do lose my temper and shout but I am often at the end of my tether especially if he does something dangerous like run out into the road or is particulary aggressive to another child).
Apart from his behaviour the rest of his development seems fine - his verbal skills are fine he uses a lot of words and puts 3-4 together to make short sentences. His fine motor skills are fine but his gross motor skills were slow at developing - he didn't walk until 19 months for eg.
At his two year review I told my HV all of the above and she was quite concerned and has referred him to the community paediatrician to see if there is anything causing this behaviour. She didn't want to give me any labels but she was thinking along the lines of ADHD/Aspergers. Both of my nephews on either side ie my husbands nephew and my nephew have been diagnosed with the above condidtions and I realise there is a genetic element to them.
Now I also realise that all of the above behaviours are common in a two year old but its the relentlessness of it all that worries me and also that fact that he doesn't seem to want to please me or any other adults.
I realise this has been really long and I applaud you if you've managed to read it all. I just wondered if anyone else had a child like this or if it sounds to you if something could be wrong with him.
Thanks for 'listening' as it were.