arrraaaaghhh S and L delay plus unmotivated 5 year old who seems to be getting away with things as a result of his diagnoses.....

[Nointhemood]

Ds was referred to SALT because of his speech further tests showed and assessments showed that he also has a language delay (was a bit shocked but some of it made sense). However i still wasn't convinced as to why he was falling behind really badly at school especially as he seems to be making progress at home not loads but the same level as his friend (play ground talk with parents).

And to be honest some of their expectations for a 5 year old seem quite high. I spoke to his teacher and again SALT who showed me some of the assessments they do for language and the results. Obviously some of the complex instructions he seemed to struggle with so there is a problem-however the other tests were very inconsistant or about average.Some of the examples she was giving as to how it effects him in classroom where for example tidy up time-ds would slowly tidy up then get distracted, go into a dream world and start gluing bits of paper together (fact he hates tidy up -not a case of not understanding teachers instructions)

Eg 2 he does a good job of sitting still and pretending to listen and so on. As for the language test eg which two would you associate with each other foot, belt, hand he said belt and hand because you need your hand to do your belt up! The answer was foot and hand.He always has a reason for his answers although they are not the obvious or standard answers they want. I played the game with hi where he chose the items and he said square, orange, aplle and pasta and his brother-i said square and he said no his brother because he can walk!!!

This is a 5 year old boy who doesnt see the point in learning, reading or writing yeat love'splay and using his imgination.He's very stubborn and quick to say i can't.However he's very well behaved in class , happy and chatty. Part of me feels relieved that he's getting extra help but another part is annoyed that he's getting away with things that i know he can do but because of his diagnoses he's getting away with it.

I just want him to buckle down and learn that he has to do this and do things he doesn't want to do. He is going to have a real shock when he starts year 1 and I want him to start realising a bit now. But at the same time i admire his strong will and big imagination and don't want to crush his spirit.

Am sure someone will come along who knows much more than me. Mine is only a cautionary tale and may be a completely different situation, but we spent years thinking our quirky, original, very stubborn, wonderful, incredibly difficult son was just not trying hard enough and even deliberately being contrary and obstructive. He is now 8 and in the middle of being diagnosed with Aspergers. I am not at all suggesting this is what your son has so please don't take this the wrong way, but if anyone who knew anything about it had seen him several years ago it might have all fallen into place much sooner and we could have helped him and perhaps even stopped him finding things as difficult as he does now. A school where they are at least prepared to consider there might be another cause for any issues is a god-send, and it really is unlikely to do him any harm. It is hard as a mother though, and we have to go with our instincts too - maybe just keep an open mind while they are prepared to help him.
That said, one of the hardest things I find is separating out the difference between how he reacts to things because he is just an 8-year-old boy and what behaviour is caused by his Aspergers view of the world, and I certainly get it wrong often!
I hope this makes sense, I am quite new to posting and very wary how things can seem in print rather than face to face!