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Stop the world ... I just want two minutes breathing space

5 replies

TheArsenicCupCake · 18/05/2010 12:46

And then I'll be ready to start again. I'm so tired.
Ds2 (asd/as) actually right now he's doing really well.. Well you lot know how that goes.
School have already spoken to ed pysch about transition to secondary.. Teacher who is wonderful and knows ds really well has done a fantastic job so far.
It's all about stratagies so all is good.
But ed psych wants to meet ds2s dad.. Which actuallyi don't mind at all... Barring the fact that it is goingto create a whole load of stress... For me and for ds... Oh and the rest of the family.
Exdh is adiment ( sp) that ds is totally NT has poo pooed any issues even with ds2s dyslexia. He and his mother have told ds that the only thing ds has an issue with is lazyness and have really been horrid to ds about it.
So to talk about stratagies so ds will find transition easier into secondary is actually going to be atotal minefield... And barring a rather large meltdown last week at school ds has been doing so well.

I've spoken to camhs, ss, school, senco, teacher, etc etc about these issues and noone can help sort it out.
Ds2 wants to seehis dad.. Which is fine... But due to lots of things we always pick up the pieces here afterwards.. And I'm tired.
I can't say much to ex about it really as he just shouts and yells at me and ds about he should live with his dad.. Putting a huge strain on everyone mostly ds.

And there is the thing with liking rules.. Ds does really well with rules, as you'd expect... So I had him in tears after an argument between him and ds1... Beacause ex has told ds2 that he has to do tell on ds1 and spy on him ( for want of a better phrase).. And that he has to do what my awful exmil ( who has big issues herself) says or he won't be rewarded.. With his obsession toy.

Ds litterally said to ds1 ... If I don't do it dad won't love me..
The list goes on and on... Court aren't doing anything about anything.. And I just want to get ds2 through school where he is a square peg in a round hole and he has enough to deal with ... Let alone this crap.

And so it is all just going to get worse because ex has PR and goes against everything that might be helpful... And ed psych wants to see him.

If you got this far I owe you a big wedge of cake.. Don't expect any answers .. I just really needed to vent.

OP posts:
BriocheDoree · 18/05/2010 13:09

I think YOU need the cake. Large slice of choccie cake and cuppa coming your way.
Or I could send you a virtual pistachio eclair as our local boulangerie does very good ones

TheArsenicCupCake · 18/05/2010 13:13

That sounds bloody lovely.
Ds2s quirks really are the side order in our family unit rather than the main course..
And ex is an ex for very good reasons.
I am just really not looking forward to his onslaught of crap that wl be coming our way.
Only good thing really is school is more than aware of the situation from meeting ex before and from what ds has said in school.

I'll breathe now lol

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Al1son · 18/05/2010 13:26

I'll send you chocolate cake. You send the arsenic one to your ex.

I'm sure you've filled the ed psych in on your ex's view so hopefully he/she will be ready for him to spout and will just let him get on with it. I guess they have to be seen to seek his opinion as a parent. It doesn't mean they have to act on it.

Just don't ever sink to his level and keep the pressure off from your side. Eventually your sons will see him for the selfish, insecure, control freak that he is (if they haven't already).

In the meantime keep venting.

TheArsenicCupCake · 18/05/2010 13:41

I think that's why I'm tired really.. Keeping it all stress free here as much as possable and trying to be as non acidic about ex as possable...

Teacher has already filled in ed pysch lol and has suggested that I have the first meeting without ex there... So I will nicely put it that ex can be hard work as well.
As far as I'm concerned we just need ds2 to have access to the best education he can get, so that he has a greater choice of job that he can fit nicely into at the end of it. And to make this all as smooth as possable for him.

What gets my bloody goat amongst other things is ex is a teacher.. And pulls the " I'm an educator I know best" with everyone.. When actually I want to yell " actually, your just a numpty". ( but I never do that no matter what).

OP posts:
TheArsenicCupCake · 18/05/2010 20:23

Thanks for responding earlier to my brain dump..

Feeling much better now and I did manage to concentrate on my work a bit later.

Thank you

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