Advice needed please.........Concerned about DS2 & Autism

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

I have DS1 who is 6 and was dx with ASD at 3. DS2 is 20 months old.

I have worried myself constantly from the day he was born that he would also have ASD as I know it is more common in boys and also if you already have one with ASD.

He is a very different baby to DS1 at the same age. However, he doesn't yet say even one single word. He copies noises we make & if we say "Mama" or "Dada" he will make noises as if he's copying us.
He loves watching TV, unlike DS1, and will react & respond to things on telly, like getting excited when certain characters come on, or laughing at certain things.

DS1 was actually very advanced by this age and the only real issue at the time was his lack of speech (4 words by age 2).

DS2 will play with toys, whereas DS1 would spin the wheels on cars, watch the washing machine for the whole cycle, build a tower out of blocks, or line things up. DS2 does none of these things.

As he is still under 2 he is still too young to be assessed. The GP & Health Visitors have told me I will have to wait until after his 2nd birthday (Sept) and I cannot afford to pay for a private assessment in the meantime.

Can anyone give me any advice please ? Anyone with more than 1 child with ASD, or a child that they were worried about at the same age.

TIA

I always find this quote helpful

"By 18 months a child should be warmly engaged and capable of initiative and two-way communication. She should also be able to use complex gestures to communicate what she wants - taking her mother's hand and leading her to the door or toy chest, or pointing, for example. Without the use of words, she should be communicating with her parents, clearly understanding much of what they say to her, and communicating many of her own wishes back. If by 18 months the child can do these things, her gestural communication is developing on track and the building blocks of symbolic expression and language are present. .......The child who has a circumscribed language problem that will take care of itself will be mastering these preverbal gestural communication patterns."

"The Child with Special Needs", Stanley Greenspan, page 386"

He is not too young to be assessed. Tell your GP/HV you want a second opinion. If you have concerns and it runs in the family you are entitled to rule it out or confirm it in order to access early intervention. Can you imagine if they said that about any other disability ffs? He's not deaf because he's too young to be assessed!? If you are worried ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician asap (may get to the top of the waiting list by 2 anyhow) and if there are none in your area experience in working with children so small ask to be referred out of area. Don't be fobbed off.

On the plus side for you, you can start to implement strategies that you have used for your DS1 right away. Your child doesn't have to have asd for them to be effective.

try the CHAT www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?a=2226&d=1419 which isn't a diagnostic tool but one which many people find helpful.

ds2 was diagnosed at 22 months and I had concerns about ds3 at about 13 months but was told he was copying his brother. By the time he was 2 I got a referal to SALT which was pushed through because of ds2 and was then told that whilst he had some traits they wouldn;t diagnose until he reached nursery school age and they saw how he interacted with other kids. By 3.25 he had a diagnosis.

I rang the consultants direct as we were already on the books and I am sure jumped a few queues as a result. ds3 is only mildly affected and I am sure if we didn't have ds2 with a diagnosis we wouldn't have got anything for ds3 for years if at all!

Push for any appointments you can get

I agree that he's not too young to be assessed. My ds2 was initially seen by the Paed a few months before his 2nd birthday and had a full assessment about a week or two after his 2nd birthday.

Does your ds1 still see a Paed at all? If so, would they be able to give you an informal opinion? I ask because when I used to take my ds1 (ASD) and ds2 (ASD) to appointments, the Paed and the SALT would also keep an eye on my dd (NT) too.

One thing I learned from having two children on the spectrum is that they won't necessarily show the same signs. There were things that ds1 did all the time that ds2 just never did - and vice versa.

Why don't you ask for an ADOS assessment to be penciled in for his 2nd birthday, that you will cancel if you no longer have concerns.?

waiting list are huge anyways so wouldnt likely to be assessed until passed his bday anyways.
DD2 had a referal at 25months but we are waiting on appoinmtents atm

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I am definitely going to go back to my GP and try again to get him assessed before his 2nd birthday. I don't know whether it's different in different areas.

LeonieDelt - I will definitely contact you via email!!! Thanks for all your help.

coppertop - No, DS1 does not see a paed anymore. Sadly they seem to wash their hands of them when they reach school age round here.
I have spoken to my health visitor who said nothing could be done until he was 2, but I am certainly going to speak to my GP again.