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Teaching theory of mind - ideas

7 replies

lingle · 14/05/2010 18:10

Evening all,

I've been playing a card game with DS2 where you are trying to find pairs and you have to remember where the other card in the pair is. The moment where he or I are trying to remember where the matching card is has been a useful starting point for modelling "I think it's there" "where do you think it is?" "I thought it was there but it wasn't there".

Has anyone else got any practical tips for teaching kids how to tune in to what other people are thinking? It has been pointed out to me that you have to teach them how to express their own experience of thinking Thing A only to discover that Thing B is the case before you can expect them to understand that other people also have thoughts that can be right or wrong. so in some ways what I'm after is ways to help DS2 talk about his thoughts, his mistakes, his surprises, his dreams,etc, then other people's.

Hanen (in "Talkability") say:
"The ability to understand other people doesn't happen all at once. It takes about six years for most children ...to become completely tuned in to other people. You child might take eight or ten years or even longer. It may be something he always has to work extra hard at. But no matter how many years it takes him, your child's understanding of others will pass through a series of five stages...."

Stage1: understanding wanting (different people want different things, not getting things they want make them sad, etc

Stage 2: Understanding Thinking (different people think different things; people act based on what they think is going to happen; when people think something good is going to happen, they feel happy (even if it doesn't ahppen later) and vice versa with bad things.

ds2 now wants me....

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TotalChaos · 14/05/2010 20:23

I didn't really have to "teach" that to DS, it came along with the language/concepts improving.

to teach what you want I would go a bit more basic than the card game - I would use the pragmatic type materials - you know the before/after type sets of SALT pictures where you get baby crying, then baby being fed etc. - and rejig them. putting my thinking cap on as to what sort of things DS says - they tend to involve me being wrong - you thought the toy was there, but it wasn't, etc.

bobbyla · 27/05/2010 02:03

Hi there are two really good packages for emotional recognition and 'Mind Reading). They were developed at Cambridge Uni by a guy named Baron-Cohen. They are both computer interactive so if your child likes tinkling the keyboard we not Google them. They cost about £80 to £90 each. Take a look!

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/05/2010 06:58

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lingle · 27/05/2010 08:57

thanks for the tip bobbyla!

we should get sbc on mumsnet!

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debs40 · 27/05/2010 09:14

Oh, good thought lingle! Maybe suggest it?

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/05/2010 17:20

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lingle · 08/07/2010 19:37

DS2 is getting a bit better. We were going into town the other day. He made the turnoff to school then corrected himself saying "I thought we were going to school!"

He can play hide and seek much better now - he doesn't give himself away. And he's using "accident" pretty fluently - I don't think he truly understands it but I have moondog-ABA-type faith that understanding will come in time as he keeps using it. And he's now "telling on" his older brother just like an NT child: "mummy! DS1 hit me!" comes and finds me and everything... it's fab....

DH's birthday today though. Realised that DS2 doesn't understand the concept "a secret". Must break that one down into its components.....

At 3.6 though the problem concepts were "show" and at 4.0 it was "ask" and "tell" so I shouldn't complain.

sorry for using mumsnet as a bit of a blog here..... anyone else want to talk about what concepts their child gets and doesn't get when it comes into tuning into other people?

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