sneaking SN on to agendas where they're not expecting us, school, PTA, etc

[lingle]

I found myself in a PTA meeting last week (I know I know, shows how mild our issues are here etc).

Cue discussion about which DJ was best for the nursery reception disco.

Me: I noticed that it was extremely loud. I wonder if it could be quieter at least for the first half. I appreciate that I have an agenda here....

Other:

haha go you Ds1, NT couldn't go to his first few school discos because he couldn't cope with the noise. Couldn't they see it's not an entirely SN issue?

The staff at dd3s school have that, oh god not her again, look when they see me coming, I find the best response is a big smile

'Nursery Reception Disco'

!! I feel like a real old fogie now - I think a disco for such young children is a terrible idea full stop !

Yes, I notice that Riven.

They try to respond to you with some variant of "oh well, if child has SN, that's different. Anyway, back to ordinary children...."

Guess we just need to make it more normal and expected for people to think about these things by keeping them on the agenda.

I had a similar issue, except the disco was V. V. loud, when i mentioned it i got the face, apparently though the school have a duty of care for the children that doesn't include their ears.

It doesn't matter what the issue is now they tend to ignore me, as i'm just 'difficult' and ask questions they can't answer. How terrible am i?!

Agree cyberseraphim - what exactly is the reasoning behind a 'nursery/reception disco?' I know its becoming quite common these days, but who exactly is it for?

Is it a disco or is it just a party where you play music? When they say DJ, do they really mean DJ or do they mean children's entertainer?

Occasionally the disco word comes up at PTA meetings at DS's school. Is it another way of saying 'High School Musical Party'? Why does the music have to be loud? Do the children complain if it isn't?

Have they paid for the volume in advance and they won't be able to get their money back?

LOL I want you guys to come to our PTA meeting!

well, at our school, they have lights all over the floor (DS2 stayed in for a while because he liked jumping on the lights).
Then they play loud Rhythm&bass music. Really. For 3-5 year olds. I mean loud enough that you can't hear what other people are saying - it's a simulcrum (sp?) of a teenage disco
The better DJs apparently do action songs first.

you have a choice of dj's?

Do you have to pay them? .

We're very fortunate in that the lovely parent of two children in our school runs his own entertainment business and does all our discos, and school fete music, for free.

I think our school would actually be quite accommodating in terms of the loudness of the music etc if required. And I pitch up to the school discos with my guide dog who lies nicely under a table in the refreshments area (the children have now learned that no, the dog cannot have a biscuit )

Keep on plugging away, ladies!

I bet our local school will breathe a sigh of relief when I finally go! I have developed very narrow vision - to avoid the eye-rolling around me

We have had some run-ins about accessibility, mostly because of clubs being held in the mobile classroom with not ramp.

This is where the thick skin develops - and the next parent who comes along should have an easier time because of your groundwork.

well done lingle! SN aside, am amazed that people think a loud disco is appropriate for 3-5 year olds!

Quite a lot of non-sn children found the school disco really difficult for the noise levels and refused to go again. They should be turning it down for everyone. Not necessary

liking the governor idea Starlight....

hmm, not sure Starlight.....it would be worth taking a very careful look at the duties so you could be sure that you'd be able to spend enough of your governor time on SN issues.

How is your lad doing anyway if you don't mind me asking? Obviously I pick up the gist of the battles with the useless service providers but where's he got to now in terms of his development, and how old is he?

Huh! that's not a great preschool

so what do you do, work on language/flexibility/sensory stuff at home using ABA or ABA-ish techniques and find lots of reasons to visit other kids and facilitate interaction? Nice that he has a younger sib. who's presumably at home with him

When the gap the gap with peers is closing rather than widening (as it is with DS2 also) it's so important to have extra time to solidify your new-found skills - very sensible of him to be born at Christmas.

Starlight - think you should go for it. You could be the SEN governor with all your experience. I am a fairly new governor myself but have yet to find if this is a help or hindrance in dealing with my DS SN issues. Staff do seem a bit warier of upsetting me though

So he is meeting all the "partner" milestones in More than Words then? That's pretty amazing - forgive me if I've got this wrong but weren't they talking about severe when you got the dx? do you think they were right? or perhaps I should say, do you think the model they applied was right? I ask because I remember things went so quickly from nearly ok to severely autistic and now he is already at partner stage (you stuck in my mind because about 18 months ago I was on a thread where you were encouraged to believe everything was ok and I then felt shocked and guilty when you came back with the dx).

Do you mind me asking also, what do you think the system had brought you as opposed to your own mumsnet-assisted efforts?

"he didn't tick any of them severely, but because he ticked so many it kind of clocked up the points iyswim"

I believe this sort of rigid imposition of "results" contributes to breaking families like mine. Husband sceptical, wife panicking, before you know it, oh yes, here it comes, the "denial" word is produced, countered by the offensive "you just want there to be something wrong with him" rebuke.....

"I am 'hoping' that the system will eventually bring, by way of a tribunal, funding to allow me to continue opting out of their tragic provision."

dear god, that says it all, doesn't it.

As for Earlybird.....well, we talked about that already.
Portage - ok maybe a point there.

I am sorry to say it, but the best thing I ever did for my family was smile politely and say "no thank you".

Starlight, I'm coming to believe that the real answer is teachers being given the tools to use their teaching skills, both in terms of an understanding of sensory/processing issues and of time to focus on necessary adjustments. After all, we know that the best SALT in the world can't do what a parent does because she's not there. Once they are in school, it's the teacher who's going to be there.